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 Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 10:58 pm
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This may seem a bit odd... but I'm wondering how I'm supposed to be acting as a christian. Am I supposed to be looking down on everyone to an extent?? The example I'm giving happened today at church:
One of my friends in my church came to service today for the first time in a long while. He's been living in a different state for a while now, but he's moved back recently and started coming to church here again. Along with him today, he brought his new baby girl and his girlfriend who had the baby. The guy is 16, and girl is 15 years old.
After church, I made a comment to my mom about how I didn't know immediately which one (him or his younger brother) was the one with the baby because they look alike and I forgot who was who, lol. My mom tells me whose baby it is and then makes a comment like "And that girl is only 15 years old..." and starts shaking her head. I didn't have a problem with that because I personally believe that in OUR PARTICULAR CULTURE, 15 is waaaay too young to have a baby. So I reply "Well that's not too good, but it looks like they're dealing with it, so I think they'll be ok!" She then proceeds to shake her head and bash me for having "no morals" and "not acknowledging right and wrong" because I didn't join her in the whole "OMG TEENS HAD SEX, HAVE A BABY, OMG TERRIBLE TERRIBLE CURSES!!!" thing. I mean, to me it's not good... but what's the point in dwelling on THAT when God forgives? They already know they messed up and they're repentant for it, so why keep rehashing how terrible it is just because it is??
And this goes for many situations on the daily for me. Last night we were watching a tv show based in Amsterdam, and I made a comment about wanting to visit there because some of my friends are from there and they say it's pretty and the people are a lot of fun. She then informed me that Europe in general "Is very sexually open" and "they have no morals". I told her that this is mainly just a cultural difference, and she then proceeded to bash me because she thinks that just because I realize that their views on sexual things is largely a cultural difference, that I believe it's right and I want to follow and practice it!!!!!!!
I'm sick and tired of this feeling that I'm a bad christian just because I don't look on the pessimistic side every chance I get!!!
Another example was today as well!! Riding home in the car, a song comes on where a guy is singing about how much he loves his girlfriend because she's not a needy girl and she's an independent woman. I simply said, "I like this song" and she RIPPED IT APART saying things like "well if she's so independent why she need him?? That'll lead to failed marriages!! it's living SO far below God's ideal plan!!"
What is going on here?? Am I really that bad if I don't rip everything apart and look down at things from a pessimistic point of view????
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:24 pm
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Yamichika This may seem a bit odd... but I'm wondering how I'm supposed to be acting as a christian. Am I supposed to be looking down on everyone to an extent?? The example I'm giving happened today at church:
One of my friends in my church came to service today for the first time in a long while. He's been living in a different state for a while now, but he's moved back recently and started coming to church here again. Along with him today, he brought his new baby girl and his girlfriend who had the baby. The guy is 16, and girl is 15 years old.
After church, I made a comment to my mom about how I didn't know immediately which one (him or his younger brother) was the one with the baby because they look alike and I forgot who was who, lol. My mom tells me whose baby it is and then makes a comment like "And that girl is only 15 years old..." and starts shaking her head. I didn't have a problem with that because I personally believe that in OUR PARTICULAR CULTURE, 15 is waaaay too young to have a baby. So I reply "Well that's not too good, but it looks like they're dealing with it, so I think they'll be ok!" She then proceeds to shake her head and bash me for having "no morals" and "not acknowledging right and wrong" because I didn't join her in the whole "OMG TEENS HAD SEX, HAVE A BABY, OMG TERRIBLE TERRIBLE CURSES!!!" thing. I mean, to me it's not good... but what's the point in dwelling on THAT when God forgives? They already know they messed up and they're repentant for it, so why keep rehashing how terrible it is just because it is??
And this goes for many situations on the daily for me. Last night we were watching a tv show based in Amsterdam, and I made a comment about wanting to visit there because some of my friends are from there and they say it's pretty and the people are a lot of fun. She then informed me that Europe in general "Is very sexually open" and "they have no morals". I told her that this is mainly just a cultural difference, and she then proceeded to bash me because she thinks that just because I realize that their views on sexual things is largely a cultural difference, that I believe it's right and I want to follow and practice it!!!!!!!
I'm sick and tired of this feeling that I'm a bad christian just because I don't look on the pessimistic side every chance I get!!!
Another example was today as well!! Riding home in the car, a song comes on where a guy is singing about how much he loves his girlfriend because she's not a needy girl and she's an independent woman. I simply said, "I like this song" and she RIPPED IT APART saying things like "well if she's so independent why she need him?? That'll lead to failed marriages!! it's living SO far below God's ideal plan!!"
What is going on here?? Am I really that bad if I don't rip everything apart and look down at things from a pessimistic point of view????
I believe that a sin is a sin regardless of how severe it is and I don't think we as humans are in any position to judge one another. But.. I'm sure your mother just doesn't want the same thing to happen to you and maybe that's why she may have flipped out. I wasn't there so I won't be blaming your mother for anything because I don't really know her side of this you know? But I do know that looking down upon other people isn't okay seeing as we're just as bad in our own way |
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 8:38 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 11:32 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:15 pm
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Immediately, I'm irritated with the attitude of your mother (moreso with the teenage pregnancy issue than the other things).
Matthew 7:1-2 NIV "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
Luke 6:37-38 NIV "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
Jesus did not use the passive tense for poetic reasons. This is not just a warning for hypocrites that what they say will not be believed because it is not practiced. This was a warning that God would be the one to measure out to you what you have measured to others, wrath for wrath and blessing for blessing.
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 4:41 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 6:25 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:18 pm
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High-functioning Businesswoman
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:31 pm
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I'm wont to agree with basically everything people have said so far. You're not a bad person, certainly not a bad Christian, for not agreeing with your mother. You're an individual, and completely capable of forming your own opinions. She does seem to take a generally negative view of things though. Yes, some situations are bad because they are, but if things have been resolved like you've said, then it's really not her place to judge them, and judge you just because you don't agree with her.
And Amsterdam is beautiful! It's not all nearly as seedy as some people may think. Not that I've ever been there, but Amsterdam was the jet-set destination for this past cycle of America's Next Top Model, and it looked like any other European city seems to. I would just stay away from the red-light district. confused
Just keep doing what you're doing, and possibly talk to your mom about her judgment of you and others. Explain that you don't agree with what may have been done/certain ideas, but that you can see them for what they are, and only God knows their heart; if He sees fit to condemn them, then that's what'll happen. No amount of righteous indignation on your mother's part is going to change God's mind one way or the other.
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:58 pm
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Hmm i myself am most confused, i'm a born again christian and i'm reading my bible the first time in a while tonight, it seems a lot of people in the bible were very judgemental and prayed for god's wrath to come down upon the wicked..nvm..i think i found an answer within my own logic
Anyway, i think your mom needs to ease up, i use to be like that one of my freinds, jess, is a freshman and has sex with her bf all the time and explores diffrent religons, and i jugded her and her ways, and told her best friend to be careful and not become like her in her lustful ways but it turns out i was wrong her best friend fowarded the messaged to her and i almost lost a friend, it was wrong of me to judge her because in her home life he dad has raped her so seeing how she's been strong about that, i some what can see where she is coming from having safe sex with her bf, and how she is moraly confused, but it is wrong to judge someone anyway you look at it as i've found all throughout the week no matter how sinful they are.
And i really like your way of thinking, i would love to try to see the bright side of everything but unfortunately i judge people a lot and it's wrong of me and i'm working my way to imrpovment, but yea man, if i was you i would talk to my mom about it, and tell her the way you think and what the bible says about forgiveness and not being judgemental, hopefully she'll understand i pray on it
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:58 pm
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Well. I know that I sin, and I know that I am in noooo position to look at others horribly because of their sin. My own sin is enough for me to handle. As Christians, no, we should not be judging others because of their sins. "people in glass houses shouldn't throw bricks." ya dig?
"And early in the morning He came again into the Temple [see "My Father's House"], and all the people came unto Him; and He sat down, and taught them." [see Rabbi]
"And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto Him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto Him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the Law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest Thou?"
"This they said, tempting Him, that they might have to accuse Him."
"But Jesus stooped down, and with His finger wrote on the ground, as though He heard them not. So when they continued asking Him, He lifted up Himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again He stooped down, and wrote on the ground."
"And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst."
"When Jesus had lifted up Himself, and saw none but the woman, He said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?"
"She said, No man, Lord."
"And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." (John 8:2-11 KJV)
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:42 am
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Your mom just sounds a little... err, overzealous. She's probably also concerned for you own welfare. Mine can be the same way, to an extent. I got my cartilage pierced a few weeks ago and she flipped out and became afraid I was gonna start piercing everything and cover myself in tattoos, even when I've told her that I don't like facial piercings and tattoos scare me. rofl I also agree with Ixor about a woman's role, but that's also because I'm a little feminist. My relationship with my boyfriend works so well because I am so independant, but that's just me- it vaires.
Your mom may worry about your welfare, and probably about you're salvation if she's really into God (my mom never was, so I got a lot of spiritual leway). She's worried you'll become promiscuous our your faith will suffer probably.
As a Christian though, I believe we are never called to look down on one another. We need to support them and help them make the right desicions, but we also need to accept them for the desicions they've made, no matter how bad we may view them. I find keeping and open mind about all people helpful- that is, only disliking them if they give you a legitimate reason.
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 2:37 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 12:06 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 9:05 am
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Priestley Knatalie9 "When Jesus had lifted up Himself, and saw none but the woman, He said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?" "She said, No man, Lord." "And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." (John 8:2-11 KJV)
No, it's not. Telling someone they are sinning is through.
This may be the therapist side of me (yes I have a therapist side), but I say you sit down and talk to your Mom.
As Christians our mission is to show everyone the Lords love. Not judging. We aren't supposed to be pessimistic, telling everyone that they are doing something wrong, but lifting them up and telling them they can do the right thing and change their ways.
If someone came up and told me I was a bad person and that I was sinning, that wouldnt help me at all. But if someone came up and told me I could do better, and took the time to help me see that, then that would be helping. |
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