Musician Jokes

[Grilled Cheese]

What is a musician joke, you ask? The blanket definition is pretty much any joke that you wouldn't 'get' unless you happen to be a musician. The most popular variety seems to be 'drummer jokes', but bass jokes, guitar jokes, lead singer jokes, and anything else that you can think of and/or Google are welcome as well.

I'll post a few of my favorites, just to get the ball rolling:


Q: What do black coffee and Ginger Baker have in common?
A: They both suck without Cream.

Q: What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: What is black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A: A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.

Q: What's the difference between a Bassist and a rhino that's just eaten a tin of baked beans?
A: One's a huge useless thing that makes a deep farting noise and the other is a rhino.

So, there you have it. smile Know some better ones? Or some so-bad-that-they're-good ones? Feel free to post! mrgreen  

[YuzoraRyuu]

Q: How do you get two clarinet players to play in tune?
A: You shoot one.  

[YuzoraRyuu]

COUNRY MUSIC: God's punishment to the world for what the Pilgrims did to the Indians.

RAP: You can't spell CRAP without RAP.

ROCK: Okay, who gave that angry drunk person a microhone!?

JAzz: Does anyone here know what they are doing? Didn't think so...

I'll try to think of some more.  

[Saurencaerthai]

What's the difference between a soprano and a Corvette?
Not many musicians can say they've been inside a Corvette.

What's the difference between a Wagnerian Soprano and a Walrus?
About 300 pounds.

What's the difference between a soprano and a piranha?
The lipstick.

What's the definition of an alto?
A soprano that can sight read.  

[YuzoraRyuu]

Saurencaerthai

What's the difference between a soprano and a Corvette?
Not many musicians can say they've been inside a Corvette.

What's the difference between a Wagnerian Soprano and a Walrus?
About 300 pounds.

What's the difference between a soprano and a piranha?
The lipstick.

What's the definition of an alto?
A soprano that can sight read.

LOL, those ones are good. I happen to be one of the rare few sopranos that can sight read well, and I hate getting the melody. I like the awesome harmonies that make a song so awesome.

Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.

Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

(Those jokes are courtesy of osbournmusic.com)