Author: SarcasticIrony
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts
Pairing: Roxas x Sora
Warning: Incest. Yaoi. Heavy Cursing. A little bit mature.
Rating: PG-16
Note: This isn't the complete fanfiction; it's only part of it. It's too explicit for the entire one. eek Anyway, I'll post the link to the full one when I finish it and post it on fanfiction. If it's too... bad.... let me know. I would like comments and constructive criticism.
Edit: Here is the full fanfiction. You'll notice slight changes from this one because I edited this to fit the ToS. [Just Us]
Kisses
Clueless. Oblivious. Empty-minded. Uncertain. Naïve. Dense. Unaware. Ignorant. Thick. Dumb. Stupid. These and more are all words people have used to describe me. Well, if they knew what I knew, they wouldn’t be thinking of me like that.
I’ve seen the way he looks at me. I’ve seen the way he stares into nothing. I’ve seen the blushes. I’ve seen all the signs and read them. At first, I didn’t want to believe it. I mean, he’s my brother. Not only my brother, but my twin brother.
My brother is in love with me. I’ve seen the proof.
Lately, I’ve been trying to get him to open up to me. I’ve been dropping small hints and leaving questions that might get him to confess. So far, nothing. He was probably thinking my questions were my innocent curiosity getting the better of me. Why did I have to be like this? I earned myself a reputation of being a digit above being mentally retarded.
But, I still didn’t rat him out. Maybe that digit went lower and I was retarded for this, but I just couldn’t do that to my brother.
We sat in the living room one night. I was watching 40-Year-Old Virgin and my brother read a book. I laughed at the idiotic movie when Andy described what he thought breasts felt like. That was when I felt a pair of eyes boring into me. I turned to my brother who was sitting on the chair with his feet propped up on the hassock. The book was open on his lap as his eyes quickly darted to the words written on the page.
“Okay, boys, we’re leaving.” Our mother said from behind us in the hallway. My eyes never left my brother as his face began to burn bright red.
“We won’t be home until late. Are you sure you boys don’t want to come?” our father requested.
“No, I’m good.” I said quickly.
My twin looked up, about to open his mouth, but quickly closed it when he noticed I was still watching him. He shook his head. “Go on, have fun. I’m sure Gram will understand.”
It was out grandmother’s birthday. There was going to be a bunch of old people there. We were her only grandchildren. She understood that we didn’t go to many of the events taking place.
With that, our parent bade us goodbye and goodnight and left, locking the door behind them.
My eyes were still on my brother.
“Roxas.”
He buried his face in his book. “Hmm?”
“C’mere,” I pat the cushion next to me with an inviting grin. He shook his head.
“I’m comfortable here.”
I growled and climbed across the couch, getting closer to him. “Please?” I begged. My grin widened as Roxas looked over his book at me. His eyes were searching before he let out a heavy sigh and agreed. I jumped back into my spot, getting comfortable I leaned against the armrest of the couch and propped my feet up on the headrest.
“Mom would kill you if she saw your shoes on the couch.” Roxas said simply as he sat and buried his face into the book once more. I shrugged and kicked them off, letting them fall behind the couch. My socks soon followed.
“Roxas, remember that time as kids went we got married?” I laughed running my hand through my spiky brown hair. His face only went deeper into the book as he nodded. “Mom got pictures of the wedding. She showed them to me last night. Did she show you?” Roxas shook his head. I could see his ear turning red. “Wanna see them?” I asked. He shook his head again. His face was so deep in the book, it was impossible for anyone to read the pages. I pulled the book away from his face, taking on a naïve façade. Everyone already thought it was just me, so it wasn’t that hard. I frowned and quirked my head to the side as I sat up right and brought my face closer to his.
“Roxas, why are you blushing?” his blue eyes were wide in surprise as he leaned away from me. He started stuttering.
“B-Because… it-it’s the book! Um… Marcy just did something really stupid! It’s embarrassing that anyone would do that!”
“What did she do?” I asked, blinking. He avoided eye contact.
“She just jumped from a plane, knowingly, without a parachute. She thought Joe was going to jump after her with a parachute, but he got stuck in the bathroom….”
Damn. He so good at lying. I thought I had him.
“And that made you blush?”
“It’s suspenseful.” He said with a shrug.
“You’re really into that book, aren’t you?” He nodded.
“Better then this crap,” he motioned towards my movie. I frowned.
“Hey, this ‘crap’ is funny!” He crossed that line. No one makes fun of my movies!
“It’s about a guy trying to get laid,” he retorted calmly, his blush fading quickly from his fair skin.
Our argument went one like that until he made a rather rude comment and I finally got angry, forgetting about the current emotions running through my brother, and tackled him. He yelped loudly as we flipped over the other side of the couch and landed painfully on the floor.
This was normal for us… well, before Roxas had those feelings for me. Fine, now that we were here, there was no awkward backing out. Pretending I knew nothing, I pinned his hands above his head and growled in his face.
“At least I’m not a book nerd!”
“At least I don’t watch mindless movies that rot my brain!”
“At least I don’t learn life lessons from fiction!”
“At least I don’t get stupid ideas from perverted movies like, Superbad!”
“At least I like my brother a way a brother should love a brother!” Oh, ********. I backed away and covered my mouth. Roxas lay on the carpeted floor, stunned. His eyes were still fixed on the place were I had previously been. He wasn’t breathing.
“How long have you known?” he quietly sighed, knitting his eyebrows together. I licked my lips before I answered him. He closed his eyes at my reply and winced. “Why didn’t you tell Mom and Dad?”
“Because,” that was all I could say. I really didn’t have a reason not to tell them. I watched my younger brother and the pain that was crossing his face with each passing second. I watched as his body tensed and he closed his eyes tightly. Tears glistened in his dark eyelashes from the light above him reflected into them. I gulped. I never liked seeing Roxas cry, not even as a child. Especially when it was my fault.
I crawled forward and ruffled his blonde hair comfortingly. His hands dart forward and grab my wrists. His grip it tight, but I can blame him as he rolls over to face me. He bites his lip as the first tear slides down his face. He apologizes.
I feel a tightness seizing in my chest. I wipe the tear away and urge him to come closer. I hold his head to my chest and bury my face in his spiky hair that was still tamer then my own. He begins to choke. I rub his back in soothing circles. He starts to sob. As he’s crying, he apologizes over and over again. I say nothing. I just hold him, letting him cry.
We sat like that for a long time with 40-Year-Old Virgin still playing on the TV behind us. That was the only sound other then his crying before he looked up at me, finally calming down. The movie’s ending song started playing: Aquarius. I give him a warm smile that kills me on the inside, seeing even more pain in his face. Tears still trickle down his face, but at least he’s no longer sobbing.
He placed his hands on my shoulders. I quizzically comply with his movements as he gently lays me on my back. He leaned over me and placed a soft kiss on my lips. My breath hitches and my eyes widen, but I don’t push him away. He placed more kisses on my lips before moving to my forehead.
I feel… comforted by the butterfly kisses that graze my brow. I close my eyes and relax as I let him brush over me, my forehead, my brow, my eyes, my nose, my lips, my cheeks, my ears, my crown, my chin and everywhere else on my head.
He stopped once more on my lips and lingered there. He lifted his head and drops landed on my cheeks and lips. I tasted Roxas’s salty tears as I open my blue eyes and look into his darker, deeper, blue ones. They were shining and bloodshot. They looked so different in a beautiful way.
“I love you, Sora.” He told me without blinking. I only nod. “I love you more then a brother should. And I hate myself ******** for it.” He sat straight and sniffed and rubbed his nose. “I want to die, Sora. I don’t want to feel this way about you, but I can’t ******** help it! I ******** love my ******** brother! I just want to kill myself but I’m too much of a ******** coward to do anything.”
I’ve never known Roxas to curse so much. When I heard the word “die,” that really got my attention. Roxas never lies to me. Well, except to avoid tell me the truth about his feelings, but I understood that. He would never lie about wanting to do something as serious as that though. I sat up, and almost causing our heads to collide. I grabbed his face and made him look at me. “Roxas listen to me,” I took charge. I never took charge. He listened and made eye contact. “I love you as a brother. You will never be more to me then that, you will never be anything less. But don’t stop living because of that.”
“Don’t you hate me?” he whispered. I shook my head. His eyes lowered and became hazy as he said, “I don’t deserve you, Sora….” He tried to pull out of my hands, but I clutched his hair to keep him from moving. He flinched. “Sora… please… I-I….”
“I’ll let you do anything you want to me. Just don’t… don’t… don’t make me an only child.” I pulled him close and embraced him. “I don’t hate you.”
Nibbling
From that day, life had been interesting to say the least. During school, Roxas would pull me out of the hallway to our next class and into the janitors’ closet just to kiss me. He clung to me everywhere we sent. He would spontaneously kiss me out of nowhere when we were alone.
When I asked him why he would do this, he replied in a shameful tone that he couldn’t help himself.
More often then not, he would cry after he left kisses fluttering across my face. I would hold him.
Soon, Roxas’s kisses became more urgent and needy. He started kissing down my neck and into my collar. One day, Roxas had unbuttoned the top of my shirt and sucked on my chest, leaving a bruise behind.
I should have drawn the line there. But I didn’t.
It was the day that he began nibbling on my ear that I had to finally tell myself, He’s my brother and I don’t like him any more then that!
My body was telling me otherwise. I thought I finally understood how Roxas felt. It was so wrong, but it felt so right. After all, we were brothers. We were born together. We shared the same body, once upon a time. We’ve always been together. Never apart. We’ve done everything together. We even broke our legs doing the same stunt, on the same day, in the same spot, in the same way. The doctors laughed. This was once upon a time when things were different between us. When we only loved each other as brothers.
A one-sided love must be so painful for my younger twin.
I washed my face after I pushed Roxas off of me. I locked the bathroom door. I stood, panting as I faced the mirror. My own face was pale and horrified.
As my brother nibbled my ear, heat rose to my face. I made noises of protest. But, I also let a moan of pleasure escape from me.
What have I done?
I hid my burning face in my hands. My brother made me do that. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and closed my eyes tightly. My brother made me ******** moan.
What would he do now? He was used to my lack of response. He understood that. But I ******** moaned. What if he took it the wrong way? What if he thought I was actually starting to enjoy his little musings?
I held my head, disgusted with myself. How could I even think that? How could I even need to remind myself that I only liked him as a brother? What have I done?
It wasn’t until late that I allowed myself to leave the bathroom. I heard the shift of a carpet and I found my twin, sleeping beside the bathroom door. I sighed heavily and knelt before him. I lightly shook him awake. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at me with tired eyes.
“Mm sorry, Sora,” he slurred.
“It’s okay,” I muttered as I helped him stand up. He stretched and yawned. What time was it anyway?
He shook his head limply. “No, I am…” He lifted his hand to touch my ear. I steeled my face as he traced the lining. “The ear is sensitive. There’s a nerve around here,” he ran his fingers behind the cartilage of the ear I shivered at his touch, “that sets off the feeling of pleasure. It’s practically involuntary.”
“Where’d you learn that?” I asked. This was a piece of information that was very helpful to me. I could have saved myself a lot of mental punishment if I knew about this.
“Books and reading.” He replied smoothly. His hand dropped to his side and his eyes fell to the floor. I looked down at my slumped brother. His posture was worse then mine, which made him about a few centimeters shorter then me. I brought my brother into a hug and whispered, “I don’t hate you.” He began crying again as his tears soaked through my cotton shirt easily. He sniffed and I held him tighter.
This was how it was after every session. He would cry and I would have to assure him I didn’t hate him. I had to say it more then once. Tonight was worse, though. He hiccupped and I had to escort him into his room before our parents found us. We sat on his futon/couch and I held him and he racked with sobs. He shook his head, denying my habit phrase.
I took his head into my hands and looked him in the eye. They were puffy and bloodshot. “I. Don’t. Hate. You.” I told him firmly before placing a soft kiss on his forehead.
That night, he fell asleep, crying in my arms.
Touching
Roxas couldn’t keep his hands to himself anymore. Now, as his kisses were too needy, so forceful, and so urgent and hurriedly, he started touching me. First it was my arms. They would fly up and down my arms softly and seductively. Then, my chest. More and more bruises started popping up. But the way his hands ghosted over my body sent shivers down my spine. He was such expert at it; I could swear he had done this before. He managed to slide my shirt up and he planted kisses over my chest and stomach as his hands roamed.
“Roxas… no… please,” I begged. My voice was so quiet, so airy, there was no way he heard me. But, thankfully, he did. His head rose to stare me in the face. My breath became erratic as I stared into his eyes. My lips parted as I tried to catch my breath. He took advantage of me. His mouth engulfed mine and I felt his muscle start to play with mine. I felt so dazed… so empty… so different. I kissed him back.
