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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 3:38 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 6:09 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:18 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:02 pm
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Well, I was on a quest for an interesting (and recently updated) thread, and happily found this one.
This is a long reply. I hope I don't sound preachy. I just have a real passion for relationship issues, because I have been through some of the most incredibly challenging relationship situations possible, and feel compelled to help people if I can.
You've listed a lot of things you do NOT have in common. What about things you do have in common? It takes more than commonalities to make a real, solid relationship with long-term lasting power.
My questions are:
Is he willing to share in some of your preferred activities over his some of the time? Are you willing to do the same for him? IT could expand your interests and you might discover something you like beyond your comfort zone.
How do you resolve these differences? Do you talk about them openly? Are you willing to give him a chance and see if he has other qualities that make up for his lack of common ground with you?
There are things that make a relationship work besides having a lot in common. There's physical chemistry. Intellectual Chemistry (can you talk for hours with him about things? Do you feel you can just understand each other, or not even HAVE to talk when together? Are you comfortable with silence with him?). Similar or compatible life goals (Does he want kids? A house? What kind of job does he have/want to have? Where does he want to live? Does he want to travel?) Social Compatibility is important too. (Does he get along with your friends and family? Are you comfortable being with him in public and introducing him to new people?)
Emotional maturity is another issue. You need to be with someone who understands your ups and downs and can learn to go with the flow. Someone who understands what to do if either of you gets angry and a fight errupts. Someone who prioritises the long term health of the relationship over venting of short term angst, if possible. (I guess I'm assuming here that you want something long term. If not, just have enjoy yourself and see where it goes).
Do you both have a compatible sense of humour? Are there one or two key activities that you can enjoy doing together? How do you handle long periods of time together, or long periods apart? How well are you two able to communicate with each other your unique needs and desires? Does he show you he cares in the way that you need (eg, physical affection, buying gifts, compliments, admiration, spending quality time etc).
I'm babbling quite a bit. But it's because from my experience, in the long term, relationship skills have won out for me, time and time again, over common intellectual interests.
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Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 12:18 am
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Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 11:20 am
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-Resurrected Writer- Crew
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Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:11 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 3:22 pm
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