I didn't say I was fat! Leave me alone >_<

[Starlurk]

This is kind of a rant but I'd like to see if any of you feel the same way.

I don't believe I'm fat (I know I'm pudgy). I want to lose weight to be healthy. But I don't want to lose weight an unhealthy way because that would defeat the point. Health is my ultimate goal.

But I'm afraid to let people know. My future mother-in-law always makes really fattening meals when we go over to her house once a week. I'll eat a plateful but if I eat slow or don't get seconds she frets that I don't like her cooking. I've told her, "No I'm just trying to lose some weight." But she'll just say "Oh you don't need that!" or "Oh well you're doing great!" and repeat the pattern the next week.

And I've noticed guys, if they ever find out that I'm keeping a food journal or am watching what I eat I always get told, "You're not fat! Leave yourself alone!" I know it's because sooo many girls feel fat and guys are probably tired of hearing it, but I'm getting tired of it too. XD (And I know not all guys do this <3 I promise I'm not being sexist.)

Anyway, the final straw was when my boyfriend's friend, Chad, came over one night. I happened to have this guild open in firefox and he was snooping on the computer. Being a B-tard when he saw "Gaia Losers" on a tab he just HAD to click it. Ever since he's harassed me about how-not-fat I am.

I told him that night that I don't think I'm fat but that I do need to lose some weight. I live a sedentary lifestyle with a high calorie diet, it's not healthy. But now every time I see him he has to talk about how fat I think I am. The worst part? Whenever he gets a girlfriend the first thing he does is brag about how skinny she is. It's like, I know if I gained ten more pounds he'd tell my boyfriend that he's a chubby chaser.

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be so long but I needed to rant, does anyone else have rants similar to this? I'd love to read em. XP  

[Lady Schist]

There's a whole host of things associated with a friend or family member trying to loose weight that lead to these sorts of reactions.

First being that when you talk about trying to loose weight and become more healthy, a LOT of people who lead about the same lifestyle you do will feel guilty that *they* aren't.

There's also the fear that you'll expect people to change their lifestyle. As if you'll want them to help you either by changing the way they cook or making the healthy choices themselves.

There are associations with eating disorders especially when someone says they want to loose weight especially when they're not truly overweight at all.

It's also a sign usually of poor self esteem, and a lot of people don't really want to address a problem, and seem to think that by telling you you're 'not fat' and that 'you don't need to loose weight' they can appease themselves and make you feel better without putting any work in.

My problem is the opposite, whenever I try to say I'm loosing weight, people (not my family but people I know less well) will scoff and tell me I must not be trying very hard.  

[Starlurk]

Ouch that sucks >_<

I try not to bring it up but it always gets brought up somehow. I have really let myself go these past two years and I know if I don't change my lifestyle I will become obese.

It's just something I acknowledged and am trying to change.  

[Groovy Spleen]

You could always just say 'oh im not trying to lose weight, im trying to be healthy'

Mostly, it's probably the fact they feel guilty that you're eating healthfully and exercising and they're not.

Or you could do what I do and be like 'im training for my *specific sport* (in my case, equestrian sports) and I need to eat healthy/workout to optimize my performance'  

[AoiMakura]

my problem is that if i won't ask someone for help, because its kind of embarassing you know? like i really don't want anyone to know im on a diet or something becaue then they're all like "oohh your not THAT fat"[which by the way is basically saying i am anyways so its pointless to even say anythin] or they say " well your not as fat as so and so" and i have like no support at all. i have only ever asked my closest freind for help, but she never stuck with it and that makes everything even more complicated because if your bf can't even help you, then like how can you help yourself?  

[Iconised Ghost]

i might have misunderstood your post Aoi, but why are you relying on your boyfriend for help? I always say that if you cant help yoursef how can you help other people, not the other way around  

[AoiMakura]

no no not my boyfriend i ment my best friend, and because people say that if you have support from some one close to you then you are more likeley to stick with it, but obviously that didn't work for me...  

[Iconised Ghost]

oh sorry, completely got my wires crossed xd