Welcome to Gaia! ::

.....Well, though I don't really know anything about the particular fear your facing, I do know how I eliminate my random and rare fears. Usually, if I find myself scared of something, I'll jump right in. If something happens then the fear was warrented, if nothing happens then you know where you can tell that fear to go. Well, hope it's some kind of help any way.

All women? Strangers in a crowd, cashiers, old ladies in the grocery store? I'm guessing you mean those you find attractive and/or those who find you attractive. Fear of intimacy isn't uncommon, especially after a bad experience. My husband had a freaky 1st marriage, and thought he'd never risk his heart again, but I convinced him otherwise. It took a year of all-moods email, 6 months of weekly heart-to-heart telephone conversations, and 2 weekends together to convince him he could love again. We started emailing about a year after his separation, and I really think the 2 years alone was necessary before he could let anyone get close.

That's a really extreme reaction to women. Maybe you could take it slow at first? Go to a library and ask a female librarian for help, or get your hair cut by a female stylist? That's all I can really suggest from where I stand. I tend to shy away from physical contact with men which I think stems from a bad relationship I had. Shoving myself into uncomfortable situations helps though, because after, I'm able to realize that all the bad endings I thought up before the encounter never happened and can then continue fro there.

It also helps me to remember that most people are just as worried about themselves as you are, and tend to not even notice you unless you invade their thoughts. When walking down the street, those other people are probably too busy thinking of all the things they need to do to give you much mind.

I hope this helps a little. And always remember that you're not alone.

I-erm...Don't have any friends...not even on gaia.

My classes have taught me that sometimes with phobias you have to simply expose yourself directly to the negative situation. I've seen therapists put people afraid of confined spaces into an elevator, with longer and longer exposures each week until the situation becomes moot. Is it a perfect cure? No, in fact I'd be lying if I said that.

But who's to say you haven't already taken the first step by making this thread? Add people to your friends list, start random conversations. It'll take some work, but if you have some people to support you, you'll work past it in time. heart

A phobia is often a "bucket" to contain "all" your fears and issues. So when you become overly afraid of something it's so that you don't have to deal with everything else.
Thus, curing one phobia can lead to the forming of another.

In order to avoid that, I would go see a psycologist if at all possible and slowly work on all aspects of life, not just this one.
The key is ofcourse No rushes, no pressures, no "facing your fears" all at once, but a slow and steady progress. Start small and go from there.
Have a coffee with a girl who's aware of your fears. Shake her hand. And then, go from there.. Just a little bit at a time is the key.

...only, you're not an old dog, and this isn't a new trick. Maybe you should see a doctor then? A male doctor and talk about things with him. I'm sure he'll understand and have some helpful advice none of us are qualified to give. I'm usually hesitant to go to doctors, however, because I feel most of them are too eager to put you on pills to "fix" problems.

Meh. All a personal choice.