The Long Dark Night of the Soul

[TeaDidikai]

So before I went on this mad spree of thread generation- this was what was on my mind.

I hate this condition. For those of you who are out of the loop, this feeling of desolation, spiritual depression and loneliness is pretty much universal. At some point a rational person is going to ask themselves "Is there really a point to all this?"

My experience says that only an injection of Gnosis can really cure this. Or maybe a shot of whiskey- but my money tends to fall on Gnosis myself.

Anyone up for talking about their own experiences?
How about advice that acts as a snip of brandy in one's tea?  

[LordNeuf]

TeaDidikai

I hate this condition. For those of you who are out of the loop, this feeling of desolation, spiritual depression and loneliness is pretty much universal. At some point a rational person is going to ask themselves "Is there really a point to all this?"

I dunno if this helps, but...

This dark night
Puts out the signs of light
Mysterious rhythms of a world outside
It could be real
Things are just revealing
I'll trade tomorrow for the midnight in their eyes.

This dark night
Slowly fills the light
A strange attraction to another life
You know they're real
It's their pulse you're feeling
Who'll trade tomorrow for the midnight in their eyes.

This dark night
Helps to blur the lines
Lets separate them with shift in sight
When all is clear
It's their thoughts you're thinking
You'll see tomorrow through the midnight in their eyes.  

[CuAnnan]

I treat it with Whiskey.
Before anyone accuses me of alcoholic behaviour: I take a single shot of Whiskey and it is highly ritualistic.
I have a bottle that is solely used for completely ritual purposes and yes that includes ritual drinking and no I'm not getting defensive, damn I need a drink.
GIMME A DRINK NOW DAMMIT.  

[ShadowSharrow]

TeaDidikai

I hate this condition. For those of you who are out of the loop, this feeling of desolation, spiritual depression and loneliness is pretty much universal. At some point a rational person is going to ask themselves "Is there really a point to all this?"

Ouch, things have pretty much been that way for me for the last 4 months.
Gotten so bad I had to let my dr put me on meds, no idea how long it will last.  

[CuAnnan]

ShadowSharrow

Ouch, things have pretty much been that way for me for the last 4 months.
Gotten so bad I had to let my dr put me on meds, no idea how long it will last.

Wow, I heard from everyone that you were saying how wonderful things were going for you and how you were happier than you'd been in months.  

[Morgandria]

I live day to day. I don't believe in the long dark night of the soul, persay. Every day is like that for me. If I survive one day, it's good. I can't assume or expect the next day will be the same.  

[error-dot-tar]

I've gotten those. And before anyone comments on how unlikely it seems for a Satanist to experience those, I'm not kidding sweatdrop So far I've been able to counteract it with personal decisions of determination and small actions to rekindle that determination in me. My pendant is actually an example of this - I bought it during one of those times as a reminder to myself of who I am. It helped a great deal. I still use it on occasion for that reason, as I do other symbols in my life for similar times outside of spirituality.  

[MoonJeli]

I have experienced feelings of being spiritually lost, and suffer from endemic (physiological) depression (which is extremely well managed). I haven't really felt any of the former since I was a teenager.

I wonder, particularly for those cases that last such long periods of time, how do others distinguish between the two? I can honestly say for myself that the feelings, at least, are extremely similar. Desolation, sorrow, loneliness, hopelessness, dread, and so on.

The Long Dark Night is often referred to as a stage or phase in the spiritual journey. I've heard of many examples of it lasting a long time but in well-known cases among figures known for their lives devoted to their religion, at least, it's seemed to be a single, fairly constant experience. Do others find it is a recurring step?

In terms of my long dark tea-time experiences, numinous experiences and revelations have given me what I can only describe as a "high", though many seemed to be only temporary relief.

I think the only thing that freed me from that particular darkness (a relief lasting more than a decade so far) was letting go of needing a point.  

[ShadowSharrow]

CuAnnan

ShadowSharrow

Ouch, things have pretty much been that way for me for the last 4 months.
Gotten so bad I had to let my dr put me on meds, no idea how long it will last.

Wow, I heard from everyone that you were saying how wonderful things were going for you and how you were happier than you'd been in months.

?

Who's everyone ?
Less stress and drama thankfully but coming up on two months on meds and looks like I will be on them for at least the winter.  

[patch99329]

I've had this a few notable times.
The first few times was because I was unhappy. It resulted in a path change.
The other times I just had to wait it out. I just had to remember why I'm doing this, get myself in a good mindset and start from the basics.

I was interpreting everything in ridiculous ways. I was metaphorically screaming sand shouting and waving my arms and stomping my feet and it was like nobody heard and nobody helped. It got to the point that when I tried to pitch a tent in gale force winds, I decided the gods were pissed at me. But thats obsurd, they have a universe to run.

Most of the problem came from me and the way I approached things.

I'm sure it will happen again one day, and I'll just have to do the same.  

[Maze]

I'm not moving a lot these days. I should get going again, but I'm currently caring far too little about anything to do so. I should get out of this soon, though, it's starting to bug me.

Heh, I think that's one of my problems, actually. I don't let things bug me a lot, so it takes a long time for me to get sick and tired enough to actually do something to change.  

[Autumnal Light]

I'm pretty sure I've gone through a Dark Night of the Soul or two, but when I really think about it, it's hard to tell since the times when I've had spiritual difficulties have often coincided with times when I've had psychological difficulties.

There was never much religion in my house, so learning about religion and spirituality and the experience thereof has been kind of like taking on a foreign language. I've been searching for "my" religion since middle school, going through periods of spiritual apathy or frustration. I've had a few breakthroughs, a few epiphanies and UPG. Things got better when I finally accepted that I probably wasn't going to find an existing religion that meshed exactly with my beliefs and stopped looking for a label to hang my hat on.

I just realized something very funny: I'm a transcendentalist who feels disconnected. I think one of my biggest barriers to spiritual development or fulfillment has been my tendency towards detachment. Whether it's fear, caution, or habit, I have a strong tendency to isolate myself emotionally and physically. Very weird for someone who sees the divine in the interconnectedness of things.

Huh.

I think I need to go sit outside for a bit.  

[TheDisreputableDog]

(Error, is that a young lady looking up adoringly at the whip in your capable hand...?)

LordNeuf, I like that. Thanks.

I felt very lost in high school when the God and Goddess wouldn't talk to me. Then I found my Netjer and I feel much better.

These days I feel more Dark Nightly over magic, divination, and such. It's been months since I've tried any and I feel kind of useless. My Kemetic path isn't huge on the magic front, although ritual is very important...heka is kind of both, I guess, but I haven't been doing any purposeful heka, if one counts any speech or writing as some kind of heka. I feel not actively invested in my spiritual and magical life.  

[Taliah]

To be frank, I've been too intimidated by this thread to post before this, but now I feel like I should.

That feeling of despair and wondering whether or not religion is worthwhile has been in the back of my mind for quite a while, actually. But then again, since around my Junior year in High School, I really haven't had a definite belief system that seems to call to me.

When I came here, I realized the "Wicca" books I had been reading weren't accurate, so that was kind of a set back. But, when thinking about it all, I've wondered if it was so important to try to fit myself into a religious niche, or to just be content to be eclectic.

Big questions have presented themselves to me in the past... little over 3 years that I've been searching. Who am I as a person, How do I see the world, my moral code, What are my main priorities and values, etc. I'm still figuring everything out, and with a big transfer for college coming up around Christmas and living conditions changing, I'm hoping to learn more about myself by being more exposed to a greater variety than the sleepy town I live in now.

Needless to say, very stressful and depressing at times, but I try to keep in mind that I'm still young, and nothing this important in life is easy to discover.