Welcome to Gaia! ::

The Official Warhammer 40,000 and Tabletop Gaming Guild

Back to Guilds

The Official Gaian Home of Tabletop Gaming 

Tags: Games Workshop, Tabletop, Warhammer, Gaming, Wargaming 

Reply Fiction Subforum
A New Threat

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Necrotic Shade

PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:07 am
Lukas fought bravely, if only desperately, as he ran as best he could down the massive hall, they all did. But it wasn’t enough. The chatter of bolter fire wasn’t far behind them and the pings as they hit and exploded off the polished marble floor and pillars was too close for comfort. Lukas spun around and fired a few more bolter shots down the hall. He hit nothing, but then again he never intended to.

The cloaks of the royal guard fluttered behind them as they ran all out after the remaining four Space Wolves, utterly uncaring of any potential return fire. Their mission was clear, destroy the invaders. Lukas spun back around to see were he was going just as a bolter grazed Baerik’s knee bringing him instantly to the ground. The remaining five stopped to return fire as Lukas attended the man.

Stretching out his hand, Lukas made to help him up but stopped when Bearik spoke, “Save yourself, Captain, I’m no good to you now. I’ll slow them down. Run!”

Lukas knew he was right, there was no sense in arguing. “May the Emperor guide your aim”. With a salute and a quick wave the three remaining marines spun around and made off.

Lukas listened intently as the bolter fire rose to crescendo. He dared not look over his shoulder. In a moment the guns were silent before starting up to attempt to bring the escaping men down. Baerik was a brave warrior, and his last moments were testament to that. Lukas thought to vow revenge, but thought better of it. Despite what he told himself, death upon this planet would be their shared fate.

It was his fault, the though haunted the back of his mind, and he found it easy to quash it but only in this the heat of battle. NO. It was not his fault, it was theirs. It was theirs for their rigid adherence to an archaic religion of a false gods. If it weren’t for that there would be no need for them to have brought the wrath of the Space Wolves to bear. If it weren’t for that… no one need have died, least of all his brethren.
The light at the end of the hall, the door to the main courtyard, was but a hundred meters away. Lukas couldn’t be sure that this was wholly a blessing as there were sure to be scores of armed guards that would make short work of them. Their only hope of rescue was beyond the range of the jammers, if they could get that far, and the guards behind them were gaining quickly. But the decision was made for them.

Lukas slid to a halt and his men did likewise as they beheld before them a momentary burst of hope. The translucent form a teleporting unit filled Lukas with overwhelming joy only for a instant as he though for sure he was being rescued. But as the shapes finished translating and stood to their full height, the five marines felt desperation’s cold hand grip their hearts.

The five men before them were not Space Wolves, but neither did they appear as the red cloaked Royal Guard. Their black armor glistened in the dusky light and they hafted massive halberds. Brining dual barreled storm bolters to bear they immediately made to charge the three Space Wolves. The Space Marines returned fire as a bolter exploded in the face of one and grazed the shoulder of another.

The black clad warriors leapt forward with amazing speed to engage the remaining Space Wolves, and the battle became a whirling blur of metal. With one swift motion Lukas brought up his chain sword at just the instant before halberd would meet torso. The marine to Lukas’ right lacked such luck as the shining blade cleft him in half in an instant. The clang of metal on metal was brief as the black armored soldiers finished off the marines. In one powerful stroke Lukas found himself disarmed, and in another instant tumbled to the ground as his left leg was sliced off.

Sliding backwards on the ground Lukas lifted his bolter and pointed it at the nearest man and slowly pulled the trigger. CLICK! The magazine empty, Lukas tossed the useless weapon aside and stared the warriors straight in the eyes as they slowly approached.

One of the warriors lowered his halberd and carefully put the tip on the chest off the eagle adorning Lukas’ armor, right in front of his heart. With a slow twisting motion the warrior ground a small divot in the golden eagle. Lukas grabbed the weapon to stop the motion and defiantly glared at the warrior.

The warrior pressed a little harder, “In the name of His Holiness the Pope… Die!” And with a powerful thrust the spear tipped halberd pierced Lukas armor, sternum, heart and spine, and he defied no more.



I was just inspired to write the short bit of a larger story as I am from time to time. Not sure if I'll continue. Let me know what you think of it so far though. Enjoy!

On a final note, I have nothing agains the Space Wolves, they just fit the bill for the attitude I needed.  
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 7:25 pm

Alright. If these people are so backward and have begun to actively kill Space Marines using their own Marine Equivalents, why is there not a larger force there?
 

Caleidah

Eloquent Lunatic


DarkElf27
Captain

Familiar Guildsman

11,250 Points
  • Guildmember 100
  • Perfect Attendance 400
  • Elocutionist 200
PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 10:20 am
You've got some inconsistency in your numbers; sometimes you say a total of 6-7 Space Wolves, sometimes 4.

Necrotic Shade
Lukas (1) spun back around to see were he was going just as a bolter grazed Baerik’s (2) knee bringing him instantly to the ground. The remaining five (7) stopped to return fire as Lukas attended the man.


Necrotic Shade
With a salute and a quick wave the three remaining marines spun around and made off.


This happens in a couple spots, you might want to go back and edit.

I like the writing, but I'm a little confused by the end. The start of a larger story?  
PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 1:36 pm
Might want to work on the names, make them more Nordic. Lukas is a fine marine name, but not for a Space Wolf.

Also, how big is the hat of that space pope?  

Hoxtalicious

Greedy Partner


DarkElf27
Captain

Familiar Guildsman

11,250 Points
  • Guildmember 100
  • Perfect Attendance 400
  • Elocutionist 200
PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 2:25 pm
Lt. Brookman
Might want to work on the names, make them more Nordic. Lukas is a fine marine name, but not for a Space Wolf.

Also, how big is the hat of that space pope?
Viking Names

A Viking name generator.

Nice long list of Viking names.  
Reply
Fiction Subforum

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum