Need a quick critique!

[oVera]

This is my first time doing a commission for real money, and I really need for people to critique my sketch for it :]
Please be picky and don't be afraid to say the truth, I need it.

 

[Errol McGillivray]

I don't have home access right now, so I printed it out. I'll type something up during my 3pm break. 3nodding

(I was wondering what you're going for.)  

[oVera]

Ah, thank you! I really appreciate the help :3

Here's an updated version.

 

[Errol McGillivray]

Seeing the wall helps a LOT. I think what this is lacking is perspective. If you establish where the floor is relative to the wall, it will help a lot to make things pop.

Are you familiar with one point perspective? Think of a point off the page. All your lines are going to lead into it. This will help you know where the ground is relative to the wall and you can add depth.



(Looks like s**t. Sorry. I don't have much to work with here.)

See how once you line stuff up, things seem to look like they are taking up space?

 

[oVera]

Thanks! This really helps.

The strange thing is, I've never had a problem with depth and perspective in my non anime traditional art. Would you happen to know of a good way for me to practice this?  

[Errol McGillivray]

I guess drawing bounding boxes in different perspectives and putting people in them?