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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:10 am
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I guess it's really more of a poem at this point, but I plan on making a song to go with it soon. I know it doesn't seem to flow well now, but when I finish the song with the music, it should sound much better.
The longstanding oak in his silence does soak, In his infinite wisdom tells never a joke Watches elm pass with pine, stands the true test of time Branches growing more fine-- oh, another one broke!
The time now is right for a great show of lights It certainly shall be a beautiful sight Glowing yellow and red-- oh, but many are dead! In the fields overhead, a small match a man strikes. ~ Wings flutter, feet scramble, throats howl, squeak and hoot A thick cloud of ash o'er a mountain of soot The years and the history of decade and century All lead to this moment, the burning of root ~ The time now is right for a great show of lights It certainly shall be a beautiful sight Glowing yellow and red-- oh, we'll soon all be dead! I can't see overhead, for the fire is too bright. ... I can't see overhead, as the forest ignites! ~ Ashes to ashes, covered in dust Each ring a memory, lost in the end The garments, his leaves, the color of rust For the lighting of one match-- the folly of men
My newer one (in another post, toward the bottom of this page) is better.
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Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:37 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 12:20 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:28 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 12:16 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:18 am
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XWraith_LordX Blackrose Kaire Collapsing New Igloos sad I guess no one likes it? Not true. D: I like it. biggrin It's not that no body likes it....it's that hardly any of us are that know enough about poetry and such to actually give you valuable comments. For a lot of us, it doesn't really go beyond "cool", "i like it", "nice mood", or "wow so deep." We'd rather give you something that you can really use as advice or whatever you're looking for. All I can say is that I like it, the way you wrote it, and the words you used. 3nodding Well that, and this is one of the slower moving sections... I think?
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:11 pm
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Blackrose Kaire XWraith_LordX Blackrose Kaire Collapsing New Igloos sad I guess no one likes it? Not true. D: I like it. biggrin It's not that no body likes it....it's that hardly any of us are that know enough about poetry and such to actually give you valuable comments. For a lot of us, it doesn't really go beyond "cool", "i like it", "nice mood", or "wow so deep." We'd rather give you something that you can really use as advice or whatever you're looking for. All I can say is that I like it, the way you wrote it, and the words you used. 3nodding Well that, and this is one of the slower moving sections... I think? Yah. There's nothing for me to really comment on. This whole guild is a bit slow for me. But that's me, myself, and I....we need speed. twisted
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:28 am
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:20 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:53 pm
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