|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 6:55 pm
 |
|
|
 |
I'm writing a mystery novel series, and as I do with all of my characters I'm asking what a small amount of the general public what they think of them. Normally I don't post on Gaia for these, but since this character is a goth, I'm going to make the exception and ask for big favors here...
I'll note here that these novels are set about 10-25 years in the future of an alternate world, so I can't be very specific with details yet. The series features animal like people called Breeds. (think cat/bunny/wolf/etc girls/boys)
Name: Tora Suzumiya (originally Natalie Suzumiya, but she changed it)
Age:27
Nationality/Race: 1/2 Japanese, 1/2 Caucassion- Breed, White Bangle Tiger
General Personality- happy, energetic, morbid when she wants to be. Tends to be unknowingly violent.
Likes: Book: Horror-Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, Poppy Z. Brite, Lovecraft. Journey to the West. Mysteries. Colors: Green, black, purple (only ones she wears). Music- every thing but country and Merilyn Manson, including Japanese music. Movies: Horror, vampire, action, mystery.
Other: Likes Saiyuki by Kazuya Mimekura.
Works at an antique shop for MC's god mother.
Is also a crime scene photographer.
Is very conservative with make up and always modifies her clothing.
Loves to tell stories about Japanese monsters.
Clothes: ((this is my bigest problem))
Elegant Gothic Lolita-
Since it makes her look like a bisque doll, the woman she works for who own an antique store specializing in Victorian Era, Japanese, and doll collections has her wear it when possible.
Gothic Lolita and Wa Loli-
plan to have her wear these or at least mention these once.
Normally-
Shirts- change every now and then. Everything form a plain black t-shirt to fish nets to a business top.
Skirts- doesn't usually wear them, but will wear if shorts are underneath. Or Skort.
Dresses- EGL, or very plain
Pants- Usually wears black jeans with chains, patches, or other small objects or pieces of fabric sewn in. Sometimes add safety pins. Also wears dress slacks with a similar treatment (seldom). Own one pair of pants with pockets on the side big enough to hide a text book.
Other- Has a black trench coat for the winter down to her ankles, a plain black thin jacket for other times that goes to her thighs, usually with something added to it.
So, what do YOU think? Is she good as she is? What would you add? Change? Remove? Feedback is greatly appreciated!
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 5:47 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 5:52 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 7:31 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 1:13 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:27 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:43 am
|
|
|
|
Bane Rieko Krypta9 spooky_sez Hmm. I think you should focus less on her clothes.
It's good to have that much information about her, but the reader doesn't necessarily need to know all of it. I've seen so many fanfictions (and even published books) where the focus is skewed way toward things-like description of clothes and miscellaneous character traits-that don't really contribute to the story at all.
'Agatha Darkwater put on her big black boots with 14 buckles that she used for stomping people who bothered her and then she went downstairs to her room that had tape over the windows to block out the sunlight and she turned on the tv and watched The Hunger like she did every day.' You know what I mean? (I don't mean your character sounds like that, that's just a mix of all the bad goth characters I've seen.) Have you ever read any of the Vampire Kisses books? Just awful...
Anyway, it looks fine, just don't focus on her interests and clothes too much. Make sure to develop her more through actions and dialogue than narration. 3nodding Well, the main reason I needed help with this is because the book is in first person through this character's friend, and she is very observant. But she'll use small details at a time.
That's fine as long as you don't go overboard describing things like clothing. People want to know who the killer is, not what the detective is wearing! blaugh |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
