My mother, the chauvinist.

[Mer Sane Scraps]

Oh, dear god, I don't feel alive...

Alright, before I begin this rant, a prelude: my mother is a sexist, hypocritical feminazi. And this particular argument with her was filled with so many sexist ad hominems, non sequiturs, and straw-man arguments that I could have easily regurgitated whatever fragments of my sanity that I have left.

So, one of my guyfriends is a DM in a D&D campaign, and he's been helping me get started playing. He and I wanted to get together this weekend so we could get some playing in. I posed the idea to my mom last week, and she didn't have a problem with it then, but we were busy, so we couldn't. This week, I tried again, and she started on a sexist rampage. She said no, and when I asked why, she said, "He might want to get into some extra-curricular activities besides Dungeons and Dragons, you know?"

Of course, my initial reaction was, "What the HELL is your problem?" She'd met him at a party over the summer and even said herself that she thought that he was a "nice kid" and that he has a "lovely family," so naturally her statement was completely self-contradictory. I pointed this out to her.

Her reaction? "You have to take things slowly, Becca!"


"Slowly"?! Hello, we've been trying to put my character together for WEEKS! Besides, all my friends think that the two of us would make a cute couple, and one of my catalyst friends has said to me, "You two are the slowest a** people on the planet!"


She's not even Christian (and neither am I), but she makes Jesus cry.

And after she could come up with no arguments about him, she started throwing ad hominems towards his family instead.

"What if his dad's a ***** if he is? That means he WOULDN'T want to screw me."
"You're under age of consent!"
"Point?"
"... What if his mom's a drunk?"

Alright, it's true that most ***** are men, but there are so few ***** out there that this really doesn't apply. I swear, it's like "innocent until proven guilty" is turning into "guilty until proven innocent," and common sense is now uncommon sense.

And it basically went in circles from this point forward. So, to my mother, I have these four words to say:


So, you're either with me, or you're with the enemy. Thoughts?

Discuss:
My retarded mother
Retarded parents
Retarded people
Sex ^.^

...when you're cut short of misery.

 

[Mer Sane Scraps]

Oh, dear god, I don't feel alive...

Point, but there's a difference between protecting one's daughter within reason, and just plain being paranoid (and sexist) about it. If I was to go play with one of my girl friends, she'd be totally cool with it (even though there's a remote chance of the girl in question molesting me.)

...when you're cut short of misery.

 

[Neon~Starshine]

She sounds like my mom... regretfully my mom liked to do things like that just to upset me. So... she might just be a sadistic b***h. Or she might be disturbingly afraid of letting you be your own person.

Either way, there's really no point in arguing with her, since you can't win. Just do whatever you want and rub the lack of bad outcomes in her face.

Btw ***** are women just as often as men. Men just act on it more often and women get away with it more.  

[Mer Sane Scraps]

Cheeto Bandito

All mothers, that care about their daughters, are sexist towards potential boyfriends dating their daughters. It's nature.

If you have a kid, you'll do the exact same thing no matter how hard you try not to become like your mom.

You've been for me what no other could be...

And how can you be so sure of that? I'm going to have an objective attitude towards everything my kids do and not let my presuppositional bias get too much in the way.

Will I now grow old and forget all those?

Drown all sorrow, goodbye tomorrow.

 

[HuoXingC]

I'm the enemy all the way. Before you decide to rant about how your mom doesn't satisfy your selfish requests, why don't you think about what you're doing wrong first?

First of all, "retarded" means a person who is affected with mental retardation. Mental retardation is a deficiency of the intellectual capacity. If your mom was mentally retarded, she would not know how to concern for you. She has the right to tell you what to do. Afterall, she was probably the one who changed your nasty diapers when you were a baby.

Second thing: "paranoid" Since when did your mom have such psychotic disorder where she had constant delusions? If you don't know what paranoia is, don't accuse your mom of having such condition.

Third: "sexist". Sexism is to discriminate against an individual based on his or her sex. Your mother implied that she did not want you hanging out with the guy. She didn't say she did not want you to hang out with him because he is a male. And if you say she did, then you're in denial.

Last but not least, don't talk like you know what its like to be a good mother. Have you ever been pregnant? Have you given birth to your own child? Have you raised your own child completely on your own? I doubt that. So stop being so ********* when you can't even appreciate what your mother has to offer you now.

Honestly, if I had a child who was dumb enough to misuse the words retarded, paranoia, and sexist, I would be the one overreacting and ranting about how ashamed I am to give birth to such selfish ********* offense, but I think you really need to stop being so obnoxious and grow up. You probably have no idea how its like to have a mother who doesn't care about you at all. I know this because I had to grow up on my own, with parents who didn't teach me about drugs or sex. I was molested when I was 14, and much more horrible things happened to me when I was 15...and those things have ruined me even till today. Right now I'm still young and have a whole life ahead of me...with all these horrible things from my past lingering with me forever. How would I explain my past to my friends, my boyfriend, my future husband, my in-laws? How will people accept me as a human being? Is that what you want? Is that what your mom wants you to be? I think not! Its better to be safe than sorry.

I was SEXUALLY ABUSED before...and I'm crying about my parents not being there to protect me. And now you're tripping over a lost privilege when your mom was attempting to PROTECT you! Oh...and what was your need? To play a GAME? Grow up!  

[HuoXingC]

OMG! I can't believe I forgot to tell you off about misusing the word "chauvinist" in your title! Well...chauvinism is the devotion to a belief. And you're using it as a negative connotation towards your mother.

You know what? Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this. You don't seem to have the brains to understand this anyway...  

[Mr Glenn]

mmmShe's not that selfish humans are social creature and so she's not asking for anything all non sociopaths want, people, and getting a insane mother in return

mmmYou are also wrong "retarded" literally means delayed or is an "offensive" term for a mongoloid, and in this situation the mother is being retarded in the sense that she lives mentally in the time when you did take it slow in relationships always and when every woman was a chauvinist under the image of a feminist (by the way I have no clue where you got this idea that chauvinism means a dedication when it means a belief that ones sex is superior and it is a strong but accurate word for this conversation as this mother is all about how all boys are only after one thing)

mmmThe form of paranoia (this word means have an irrational fear or distrust of people so you have the actual definition not the psychoanalysis) you are talking about is paranoid schizophrenia if the mother had paranoid schizophrenia then her daughter would not be talking to the mother because the mother would be a completely disattached douche and pay more attention to the fictitious monster than her daughter also if the mom had a mental problem it would probably be manic depression incase you were planning on learning about such things

mmmOnce more the mind set of "all boys are only after one thing" says "All boys are too stupid to know how to overcome anything mentally and then they'll ditch you because they can't man up to what they've done" and if that isn't sexism then treating all blacks like criminals isn't racism. Also the mother is not letting letting her daughter hang out with him because he is a dude why else would the daughter need to "take things slowly"

mmm********* is the action of being *********, not one who is *********, honestly I think you just were like "I bet I can make up for the fact that I'm loquacious by looking up an extravagant and idle word from any English vernacular because I want to disguise my blatant deprivation of scholarship" except it was more like "Wow I didn't write any big words in this long response and I don't want them to see that I'm not super smart person"

mmmAnd because you parent don't care for you at all the you wouldn't know what's like to have parents that care too much. Stopping you from doing stuff just because there might be something that could tempt you to do something bad. Was I educated on drugs? Hell yeah, I was taught how to properly do drugs and how to grow my own Acid, Ecstasy, and Morphine so now I can get high on legal stuff and for a person like me that's worse than not knowing.

Also you wouldn't have any Idea how to be a mom at all as yours didn't even show you so I think this says it all
In addition I think you have romanticised ideas of parenthood, even more so than Mer Sane Scraps and I do

 

[Abby360]

Cheeto Bandito

Your mom's not retarded, she's just scared she's losing you, cause you're growing up & whatnot.
Most mothers have that with their kids, give her time to adjust and instead of arguing with her, try to see things from her perspective.

My mom has it too, she didn't have that issue with my sister. But me, as her son, she can't get over the fact that I've grown up now. She wishes I stayed little forever.
Whenever I have a girlfriend, she'll say things that'll imply they're sluts or not to be trusted. It's quite funny.
Especially when she turns out to be right too. xD

You know she only wants the best for you. And she wants you to be happy.

So you know, cut her some slack. Parents aren't as quick to make up their minds as you are. They have the constant fear of doing things wrong or ******** up with the consequence of hurting you in some way.

Think of it like this:
What if your mom hadn't cared at all what you were doing?
What if she didn't give a s**t if the guy had come over to supposedly play D&D with you and ends up raping you? (You can say he'd never do that, but you don't know for sure and this is a hypothetical situation that is possible, no matter how tiny the chance is)
What if you could do whatever you wanted and she didn't give a ******** about what happened to you?

Wouldn't you hate her more, that she hasn't protected you or even tried to prevent you from getting hurt?


Yeah it's frustrating when your parents aren't letting you do what you want all the time, but when you're providing for yourself and living in your own house you can do as you please.

Right now, I say you have to abide by their rules and be grateful that they actually care about the things you do.

Holy crap, what he says. Ya know I couldnt have said it much better myself, and I am a parent of 2 teen girls. Cheeto Bandito is so so right. Your mom is right to be caution, there are not so few peds out there as you seem to think, and bad things, and bad people are sometimes just around the corner in our own neighbourhoods.
Some possible ways to come to a agreement or compromise with her (your mom) are 1. can you friend come over to your house to stay you up playing d and d?
2. Have your mom/dad meet his mom/dad. Parent that know each other even a little bit, are more relaxed usually, even if we dont like or care for that parent, knowing them makes it a little less scary.

Cheeto Bandito is right on all accounts, but especially about this .... your mom cares. she loves you and wants you safe. she may not be showing it in a way you like, but regardless she wants you to have fun, ( i am sure) but doesnt want the bad in life to find you. how can you fault her for loving you and wanting you safe. I fshe didnt give a crap, she would be all in your face. right. So cut her a break and look for a way to comprimise .oh, ps, the guy sounds nice, so have him over.  

[Anamorphic Toothpaste]

That sounds like the real illogical responses that parents have when their afraid of losing you, afraid of what could happen and afraid you'll make the same mistakes that they did. Its fear next to stupidity wrapped around a closed minded reaction.

I'm sorry dear, but this is the way it is. Just hope your mother does not "break down" as I call it and go postally strict on you.