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Going Home, by mATTZ

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mattzere

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 7:39 am
OOHH! i have a story, it was an english asinement <(thank goodness i had spellchecker)  
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 7:42 am
Going Home

14 years ago I was born into a large, happy family. I lived in that family for only two-and-a-half years before everyone in the country was taken in and put in these kind of military camps. The adults were killed off fast but anyone younger than 20 years old was put into smaller, underground “training camps” which I'm in now. I was told all this information by my older sister, who went missing quite a while ago…
Anyway, the camps were ruled by one pers-…err… being whom is known to us as “The Master” though we often refer to it as “Him” and small groups of us kids are always going off in groups to try to slay Him on order to set us free to find a home.
I organised one of these groups with a few other kids in my physical training class. Unfortunately we were attacked by a large number of His Per-Troll Row-Bottes! Only me and one other kid survived. As far as I can remember, these were the events that followed:

“Where are you going?!” screeched a metallic voice from somewhere behind us. Being the oldest, I took care of it by swivelling around and punching the glass sphere from which the voice had emitted. It stopped glowing blue and I relaxed for a second. Then I was knocked to the ground and the sphere shattered into thousands of crystal shards. I passed out for a while then. I was suddenly awakened by a girls voice, I don’t know what she was saying. At that time, I had no idea of what was happening, thoughts whizzed through my mind. Where am I? Oh, I remember! He has us all locked up. We are trained in small rooms. Am I meant to be training now? If I’m not doing as He says then he’ll punish me!

The girls voice sounded again and I remember her saying
“God, boys are stupid, I’m almost glad we’re kept apart from them!” then, embarrassed, I splurted out “I’m awake!” sat up too fast and got dizzy before collapsing on top of the remaining boy that had followed me. The boy was slightly younger than me and quite a bit smaller so he had trouble shoving me off.
“I'm not sure why you’re out here, but I want answers!” the girl said to me in angry whisper as soon as she knew I had recovered. “Who are you and where are you taking my bro’?”
“Right, sorry. I'm 31212-”
“I want your name, not your number!”
“But no-one uses names anymore, He wont allow it!”
“Well, I'm not going to be categorised like that. I'm Sola and this is my bro’ Ed.” She said to me, matter-of-factly.
“O.K, I'm Jinto!” I said for the first time in four years. “And I'm getting out of here!” I said, more confidently than I felt. “You’re brother wanted to tag along with some of the other boys. The rest of them were captured. They’ve probably been re-” I paused and took a deep breath before continuing “they’ve probably been re-cycled by now…” my voice trailed off.
“Well, you’re not going without me!” Sola said enthusiastically.
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because I am his sister!”
“And…?”
“And I have a map!”
“No you don’t. Only the Per-Troll Row-Bottes have maps of this… prison!” A prison was probably the most accurate thing to call that place.
“And I have weapons!” Sola continued.
“Look, I'm not saying I believe you, but you can come with us if you like.”
“Actually, no. You can come with me!” She exclaimed, taking what looked like a circuit board out of her trouser pocket and walking off. As she walked off I realised that that was the first time I had seen a girl in several months and I also realised that she was getting away so I ran after her and Ed followed. Neither of us noticed what followed.

I had a long discussion with Ed about what we thought a home would be like before coming to the conclusion that it would probably be warm, dry and safe, which is everything the prison was not. I still stand by that opinion.

After quite a while of walking I noticed that we had not come upon any Per-Troll Row-Bottes or any of His eyes. I asked Sola about this and she said it was because she had a map.
“But how did you get it!?” I asked in astonishment.
“I have weapons!” she replied.
“You don’t.” I said taunting another argument. Before she could say anything more Ed screamed a scream that echoed off the solid steel walls for miles of the metal maze. A blue flame of light flashed and flew towards Ed. The brilliance of the light reflecting off the walls made me squint my eyes. It swung around leaving trails in my sight before making contact with something, by the sound of it, also metal and red-yellow sparks flew everywhere! Eventually, the sparks died out and the flame faded to little more than a glow. I realised that the glow was a sword of sorts and was being held by Sola. The remains of a Per-Troll Row-Botte were scattered everywhere.
“You do have weapons!” I said, still in awe. We knew that reinforcements of sorts would soon be on their way. Luckily, we all had exactly the same cunning plan…
“RUN!” we screamed in perfect synchronisation and we were off!

As we ran, several blue spheres in the wall lit up. Each one bellowed at us in His voice before letting off a beacon that would attract a lot more Per-Troll Row-Bottes’ attention.

If any of us were caught, we knew we would probably be put back in our cell and either physically trained until our muscles gave in, or we would be mentally trained until we were driven mad. There was the possibility, though, that we would be immediately re-cycled even though we were under-age. No one really knew what it meant to be re-cycled but we did know that they would not come out the other end of the process human, if they even came out at all!

Unfortunately, we lost our way in all of our escaping and since every wall, floor, ceiling and door looked the same, we were pretty much stuck. We hid. In the shadow of the steel. Building an army of the best-trained kids. Well, so far, there’s me, Ed, Sola, and three other kids… But we will be better organised next time. And we will have maps. And weapons.
We’re going home. He can’t stop us. Not all of us.

thanks for reading
mATTZ  

mattzere


Snow the Wanderer

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:27 am
It's told in an style, but I do like the actuall material you have. The plot seems interesting. Maybe try and make more of a vibe, by talking about the setting more? Either way, keep working on it! heart  
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