aliira's sketchbook [updated - critique/redline please?]

[aliira]

aliira's sketchbook

idk what happenned to my old sketchbook thread..it seems to have disappeared..i'll move this if it shows up

oh well

i did this sketch this morning
i would really appeciate it if someone did a draw over, im not very sure about:
- the anatomy, esp the hands
- her [removed](maybe its the placement of her eyes?)
- hair, terra twist is difficult for me
-coco kitty, something looks weird about it, but i cant tell what
- any other ideas you might have, feel free to make changes

 

[Lucimorth]

I widened her legs a litle bit, they seemed to be too thin. Her arm was also a bit thin. I changed the shape of the breast a little bit, and moved the inner side of her straight arm a little closer to the middle of her body. For the buttom hand, It is a very awkward position, actualy I could not twist my hand that way at all, I drew two version for that hand, the lower one is for the current position, and the one a bit up is how i think would be more natural.

The other hand was fairly well placed, and i drew it as best as i could [anatomicaly].

Also, her haid was a bit too small, I think, and her eyes were too far apart, hence the expression..i think..hehe

I hope this helps, if you have any more questions about the sketch, ask me..maybe i forgot somehting..  

[aliira]

thanks simking, that helps alot

i tried to use all your advice in my new sketch, but idk if i changed it enough, i have a bad habit of making all the girls a draw a bit too skinny. the new position of her hand looks more plain, but atlest it makes sense.(..it doesnt look 'wrong' in anyway does it..im afraid of that) sweatdrop

v2:


what do you think?
id really adpresiate advice/redlines..
is it ok to ink now?  

[Lucimorth]

looks much better now!

I had a few minor things to fix, and the other hand too, I spent quite a bit time on that hand..lol
The eye on the coco kitty was a bit too far from the neck razz

anyhooo...
here it is!
I think after you fix the other hand and the little things I pointed out you can start inking smile

 

[rxw]

it's probably the style, but I think her shoulder is a bit broad since she's kind of turning to the side more rather than the front? and she needs the back of the head just a tiny bit more, right now it looks kinda squished. and her right elbow looks a bit long compare to her left, so I drew it up a bit.

just my 2 cent :3;;  

[aliira]

thanks simking and saimai, your drawovers helped so much

simking - thanks for doing drawovers -and twice fixing her hands, i didnt even realize how akward they were..i kept the upper hand the second time though cause i wanted it too look pretty even if it isnt very practical

saimai - thank you so much for fixing the shoulder and elbow, just changing those 2 things made the pic look like 10 times better

heart heart

yay im done inking ^_^
i know i messed up on her left (our right arm) but ill just have to photoshop that

 

[aliira]

finished pice:
 

[aliira]

~UPDATED~

any help/critique/redlines for these two pics would be so helpful:

1)
im not sure about the size of the two peple in relationship to eachother

any suggestions for the girl's expression or what i should do with her eyes?

im not finished with it yet, im just looking for help on general anatomy

--------------------------------------------------

2)
im not finished..thats why theres no clothes

again, help with anatomy?

i put A and B so its easier to refer to the girls, i have trouble with right and left : P

i think the pic gets smaller and smaller the furth down you go..maybe i should skew/shrink/? the top of the pic?

are the legs the righ size? i kept redrawing them, but they never looked right..

how should i place B's feet?

 

[Marissael]

Hey Aliira! Luffed the pic of the girl with the coco kitty, really love the shading on her hip where her tail latches onto her. I'm no good at that at all, and you're better in Photoshop than I could every hope. =D

You're current wips are nice, I'm glad that you stick to your own style (I've yet to really find my own and stick to it).

1.) You mentioned about the sizes of the people in relation to each other. I think, height-wise, they're fine. I love to see when people draw a male taller than his female counterpart, I'm dorky-traditional or something like that.

You may want to flesh the guy out some. It seems that his arms are just as thin and frail as hers. His hand that's on her waist also seems too small. The only thing that I could think that could circumvent changing his arm and hand is if the person who requested the art likes the guy womanly slender; I wouldn't change it if that's the case, but if not, I'd make him just a bit bigger in that arm, even if he's still meant to be a slender man.

As for her face, I think it looks okay the way it is. But it depends on the feeling you want to give the picture. If left as is, it gives it a 'I'm just posing for this picture and not really into it' kind of feel. Like what you always see in cologne ads and such. I'd think that someone who's all over you, like he's all over her, is someone who's close to you. If you're not pushing the person away, you want them there and therefore should be happy. You could give her a gentle smile.

Unless, considering his face and the arm around her, he's supposed to be possessive and she's not entirely happy about that. Depends on what you want to go with though.

2.) This seems to be a really difficult pose, for both of them, to me, so much so that I'm having trouble getting my head around it. That's not meant to be an insult or anything, I can't really see what's right or not, not because of your drawing skill, but because I'm having difficulty with the poses in my own head. I will say, though, that because of the curve in A's back and the thin arms, it looks like two women posing. Nothing wrong with that if it is indeed two women, but I'm not sure that's supposed to be a man.

*looks you up on dA so she can stalk you*

I really love anime styles, yours is a good one. ^_^  

[aliira]

Marissael

Hey Aliira! Luffed the pic of the girl with the coco kitty, really love the shading on her hip where her tail latches onto her. I'm no good at that at all, and you're better in Photoshop than I could every hope. =D

You're current wips are nice, I'm glad that you stick to your own style (I've yet to really find my own and stick to it).

1.) You mentioned about the sizes of the people in relation to each other. I think, height-wise, they're fine. I love to see when people draw a male taller than his female counterpart, I'm dorky-traditional or something like that.

You may want to flesh the guy out some. It seems that his arms are just as thin and frail as hers. His hand that's on her waist also seems too small. The only thing that I could think that could circumvent changing his arm and hand is if the person who requested the art likes the guy womanly slender; I wouldn't change it if that's the case, but if not, I'd make him just a bit bigger in that arm, even if he's still meant to be a slender man.

As for her face, I think it looks okay the way it is. But it depends on the feeling you want to give the picture. If left as is, it gives it a 'I'm just posing for this picture and not really into it' kind of feel. Like what you always see in cologne ads and such. I'd think that someone who's all over you, like he's all over her, is someone who's close to you. If you're not pushing the person away, you want them there and therefore should be happy. You could give her a gentle smile.

Unless, considering his face and the arm around her, he's supposed to be possessive and she's not entirely happy about that. Depends on what you want to go with though.

2.) This seems to be a really difficult pose, for both of them, to me, so much so that I'm having trouble getting my head around it. That's not meant to be an insult or anything, I can't really see what's right or not, not because of your drawing skill, but because I'm having difficulty with the poses in my own head. I will say, though, that because of the curve in A's back and the thin arms, it looks like two women posing. Nothing wrong with that if it is indeed two women, but I'm not sure that's supposed to be a man.

*looks you up on dA so she can stalk you*

I really love anime styles, yours is a good one. ^_^

thanks that helps so much!!!...just having someone else's opinion..

1)
>< i know i have trouble not making guys too skinny..i guess im used to girls, thanks for pointing that out

yeah, thats the feeling i got from her face too. ill try the smile..maybe ill have her lean her head on him too..it wasnt meant to look possesive

2)
yeah, theyre both girls : )


thank you so much for taking time to give such a thorough critique ^_^ i really appreciate it very much  

[Marissael]

aliira

thanks that helps so much!!!...just having someone else's opinion..

1)
>< i know i have trouble not making guys too skinny..i guess im used to girls, thanks for pointing that out

yeah, thats the feeling i got from her face too. ill try the smile..maybe ill have her lean her head on him too..it wasnt meant to look possesive

2)
yeah, theyre both girls : )


thank you so much for taking time to give such a thorough critique ^_^ i really appreciate it very much

Ah, my pleasure. ^^

I have to be as thorough as possible since I lack the confidence to redline. =D