Finding Pagans in your local Town

[maenad nuri]

TeaDidikai

I guess I assumed that they were looking for quality over quantity.

Myself, I would rather meet three quality people than a larger number of scuz.

Witchvox has never impressed me. The Yahoo Group I met with once made my skin crawl.

However, individual friends who I have other interests with have taken me to different social situations where I have made lifelong friends.

I look for quality too, actually. I just have a different way of finding it. Meeting Amelia in PROTECT, got me at least 2 other quality friends.

Some people have a harder time meeting other people, if there isn't already an expressed shared interest. That's all.

Goodness, if I hadn't joined fighting my first week of school, I probably wouldn't have made very many good friends.  

[Kuroiban]

Nuri

TeaDidikai

I guess I assumed that they were looking for quality over quantity.

Myself, I would rather meet three quality people than a larger number of scuz.

Witchvox has never impressed me. The Yahoo Group I met with once made my skin crawl.

However, individual friends who I have other interests with have taken me to different social situations where I have made lifelong friends.

I look for quality too, actually. I just have a different way of finding it. Meeting Amelia in PROTECT, got me at least 2 other quality friends.

Some people have a harder time meeting other people, if there isn't already an expressed shared interest. That's all.

Goodness, if I hadn't joined fighting my first week of school, I probably wouldn't have made very many good friends.

Different methods of aquiring the same goal really.

One way seems to be going for people of quality right off the go, and then going thru six degree of seperation to find someone both of quality and of similiar interest.

The other is dealing with the similiar interest first, and then finding amongst that group, people who are of quality.  

[TatteredAngel]

A little late to jump in, I know, but I just thought I'd toss out my little corner of things on the meeting people through groups or meeting people first and then finding the groups issue. I do want to talk to other pagans in person. I've never been big on the pagan groups I've seen (not many, anyway, due to frequent moves and small towns). However, going out and making friends has also not been a way to find other pagans. I have great friends with diverse beliefs, but I haven't just happened to run into pagans. The closest I have are friends with a passing interest in tarot, and for the most part, that's fine, but sometimes it would be nice to have a community to talk with. So I can see flat out searching for the community.  

[Pelta]

TatteredAngel

So I can see flat out searching for the community.

When I first got lonely I searched. Then I discovered it was the friends I already had that were of the greatest value. It may be more likely amongst the youth here, but some people you might not expect could be very open to your views. Even Christians sometimes have a lot to say for themselves. Hell, even talking anthropology with my dad was an experience.

Choosing friends based solely on religion is dangerous. Sometimes you neglect to notice what the rest of the person is like.  

[CuAnnan]

missmagpie

Choosing friends based solely on religion is dangerous. Sometimes you neglect to notice what the rest of the person is like.

I couldn't agree more.
Some of the most wretched people I know are from non-mainstream religions.
You get liars, oath breakers, child rapists and scum bags of all form in pretty much every religion.  

[TatteredAngel]

missmagpie

TatteredAngel

So I can see flat out searching for the community.

When I first got lonely I searched. Then I discovered it was the friends I already had that were of the greatest value. It may be more likely amongst the youth here, but some people you might not expect could be very open to your views. Even Christians sometimes have a lot to say for themselves. Hell, even talking anthropology with my dad was an experience.

Choosing friends based solely on religion is dangerous. Sometimes you neglect to notice what the rest of the person is like.

I don't disagree. I just think fellow feeling can be nice. I talk about spirituality with a lot of my friends. We share our very differing beliefs. And that's nice, but it isn't the same as sharing similar beliefs, which would also be nice, sometimes. I would never choose a friend based on religion, nor would I choose a friend based on any one shared interest/trait/etc. I don't think that means that you shouldn't look for groups of people period, just that you should, like any time, do it with a clear head.

Some of you seem fairly opposed to the idea of looking for a group of people, period. Do you think that looking for a religious community is something more dangerous than looking for any other kind of specific community? If so, do you think it's best to wait until you just happen upon a friend who is already part of a community you could be introduced to, or is it that you feel like attempts at such communities are generally something to stay away from, or something else?  

[TeaDidikai]

TatteredAngel

Some of you seem fairly opposed to the idea of looking for a group of people, period.

For me- my practice is limited to my family. Two different families won't do things the same way, so there isn't a whole lot of reason in seeking out someone of a similar tradition (especially considering most of the ethnic culture that the metagenetic path comes from has converted to Islam or Christendom) when they likely won't do things the same way.

Quote:

Do you think that looking for a religious community is something more dangerous than looking for any other kind of specific community?

Actually- I do, at least within the pagan scene.

Every religion has it's nutters and scum. The pagan scene however seems to have more than it's fair share in my experience.

Quote:

If so, do you think it's best to wait until you just happen upon a friend who is already part of a community you could be introduced to,

This is how I suggest going about it personally. For example- I met the individual who introduced me to the local pagan scene through mutual friends at school.

At some point one of the individuals said something about running a-muck. To which, both he and I jumped up and down saying "A muck! A muck! A muck! A muck! A muck!".

We looked at each other- and laughed and have been the best of friends (and enemies) ever since.

He introduced me to the owner of the Occult Shop I worked at. In turn, I met a long time friend of his who introduced me to the RossVikings, and for all their merits and flaws, they are the most rational pagan group I have ever had dealings with.  

[Pelta]

TatteredAngel

Do you think that looking for a religious community is something more dangerous than looking for any other kind of specific community?

What Tea said. The pagan community seems to have more nutters than most.

Quote:

If so, do you think it's best to wait until you just happen upon a friend who is already part of a community you could be introduced to, or is it that you feel like attempts at such communities are generally something to stay away from

They can be interesting but not essential. Just be careful. Don't trust people blindly - they can turn on you faster than you could possibly imagine. But that could be said for any community.

Why exactly do you feel a community liaison is so important? Your path is your own. Though talking about it may be therapeutic, it won't make it any less lonely.

What I'm probably getting at (sans coffee) is that you seem focused on the community aspect. Perhaps you'd be better off focusing on the individual.  

[TatteredAngel]

missmagpie

Why exactly do you feel a community liaison is so important? Your path is your own. Though talking about it may be therapeutic, it won't make it any less lonely.

Honestly? The same reason I'm here in this guild online. I like to learn from others. I like to talk with others about similar ideas, experiences, etc. I like talking to people who are Pagan in ways that are different than how I like to talk to people who are Christian or atheist or what have you. It's nice online, but I don't know any of you in person, and for me, face-time is really different. I don't think it's unrea

I don't think I'm naive, and I'm not supertrusting. I wouldn't be looking for just any group and diving in blindly. This is all in theory too. I haven't been looking. I haven't been so dying for community and so lonely that I can't manage. But on the flip side, I am not very likely to meet any other pagans where I am without some looking.

I'm just wondering why it's such a bad idea to see what's out there and test the waters. Right now, I simply don't know what's there. I knew there was one singular pagan group in my home town, and that they were your generic "Wiccan" fluff, and I didn't associate with them. But at least I knew what was there. I don't know anything about what exists in the city here. I'm curious, and I feel like saying "They're probably all sleaze and drama and fluff" before I've even looked to be self-defeating.

I can see all of the reasons I shouldn't fixate on a group aspect, and I don't. I can see all of the reasons that I shouldn't just join up with whoever I meet, and that's also not something I would do. What I guess I'm missing is why it would a bad idea to even just take a look, which is sort of the feeling I'm getting from the various responses.  

[Pelta]

TatteredAngel

What I guess I'm missing is why it would a bad idea to even just take a look, which is sort of the feeling I'm getting from the various responses.

By all means do. I haven't outright told you not to - I've just warned you to be careful. The experience of a greater pagan community is interesting, you just might not like what you find. Be prepared to do a lot of sifting to find the wheat amongst the chaff.

If you're in a city, often local occultic shops have fliers up for meetings. Get someone you know (even one of the employees) to vouch for them. Maybe they'll have suggestions as to which are worthwhile, and which would not be the best idea. Big fairs and festivals can be good places too, if only because they're out in the open and full of people. Bring a friend.

Tbh the one experience that catapulted me out of my fluffy phase and into the community here was the 'guidance' of someone who worked in the YBR. I wouldn't have much truck with him now, but it was his suggestion to go to An Fainne and meet people. Whether that was a good idea or not I can't say. Not encouraging you to loiter or anything, but occult shops can be a way to meet people. Even if it's only to see who goes in and out and who's not too shy with the bookshelf.

I don't think anybody's told you not to. All I'm saying is that I've looked and it aint that pretty. But of course, I had to look to find that out. wink  

[TatteredAngel]

missmagpie

TatteredAngel

If you're in a city, often local occultic shops have fliers up for meetings. Get someone you know (even one of the employees) to vouch for them. Maybe they'll have suggestions as to which are worthwhile, and which would not be the best idea. Big fairs and festivals can be good places too, if only because they're out in the open and full of people. Bring a friend.

Quote honestly, my guess is that there's crap out there anyway. Most of what I've seen in this neck of the woods isn't so much dangerous, but gagworthy cutesy abounds. But I don't know for sure, and there's that little voice in the back of my head saying I should at least look before I dismiss it all out of hand. That's all.

I don't think anybody's told you not to. All I'm saying is that I've looked and it aint that pretty. But of course, I had to look to find that out. wink It was just that the feeling was that it was pretty much unequivocally a bad idea, rather than feeling like I was being told not to.

Didn't mean to seem too ruffled-feathered or anything, anyway. It's not honestly that big an issue for me, just something that would be nice.  

[Pelta]

Good luck searching. It is nice to have just one good pagan friend you can talk to about things.

I hope you find someone worthwhile. Just don't be disappointed with what you do find.