Don't follow me, because I'll be flying away.

[RoseAintMean]

Lowest is now 140.2! that was yesturday.

I broke the promise to not skip a meal.
and the purging also I broke.
Cutting still stands as not broken yet.

And I skipped over Feb. I really have one month and some days.

So 5 more pouunds ish according to yesturday.

My mid-thigh is only 2 inches bigger than my little sister's. And she is 9, but overweight like my whole family.

I love DDR, it is like a lifesaver.


Good luck to others.  

[RoseAintMean]

Uh... I thought I was going to try and stop the throwing up thing. I did it again. And the worst part is.. I felt really good after cause I lost a pound doing it...

this morning I was... 143.6. but it is night now.  

[RoseAintMean]

woohoo, my lowest is now 139.6. Which isn't today, cause I gained 4 pounds in one day, Stupid family. Well, when I woke up i was 141.6, so only 2 pounds then...

I seem to be getting worse when it comes to the Eating disorder type thing I have. I went on a liquid fasted, I just called it a fast to be, for 26 hours. The longest I've ever gone, without food. All I had was 60 calories during that type, which was just skim milk for breakfast. And then I purged again, after eating chex mix this morning.

I want to stop, really I do, I just... can't.


I have 6.6 still to lose... uh... that is so annoying. I have 10 days to lose as much as possible. I really wanted to be 135 by Feb. 20th now. If I can get back to my lowest I'l only have 4.6 pounds. Someday I'm going to be small, tiny, breakable, and huggable.

When I see my best friend, who doesn't live here, I'm want to be so small.

My friend says stop at 130, but why does he have to know.

Probably won't post in here anymore. If you want to talk to me, or something... PM me or IM me (my s/n is rosebudlane2580, on AIM/YIM/MSN) I'm mostly on AIM. Everyone have a wonderful day, and life, and everything. Hope everyone reachs their goals.  

[spiitze]

4laugh you seem to be doing well ! =D just remember not to overdo it
Best ofluck  

[RoseAintMean]

Nimmie

4laugh you seem to be doing well ! =D just remember not to overdo it
Best ofluck

Thank you.

I'm trying not to.  

[RoseAintMean]

Hey. So I felt like coming back here and posting.

I've been hangingout in my other journal on another guild. Because having two was kinda hard to keep track of..


Well, maybe I'll come here and update again, all the strikes maybe i will get rid of them.


I never reached my goal of 135. I am still reaching..

I gained back to 156, brokedown completely. Now I'm 146-147ish.

Slowly I am going back down, I've had a lot of things happen, of course it has been over a year not here.

My body is completely messed up, I can gain 4 pounds in one day now. I can lose 2 in one day now. I metabolism hates me. I skip meals again, I purge again, and sometimes I want to die again. I got all my habits back, all the bad ones, and worse they get worse.

I know this is a healthy guild, and i loved the people here. I dont think anyone remembers me it got so big here. I remember there was like 3 people here the the journals who would post like everyday.

I hopefully will be back. Maybe as a success story one day. Cause 165 to 145 isnt good enough for me. one day it will be 165 to 135, 30 pounds.

Oh YEAH. my sister and mom have lost 50 pounds each i think. they weigh less than me.. i hate it but i am happy for them, plus they are shorter than me.

11 more pounds to go.
btw my lowest was only ever 136.2, i wish i was that right now.

"Small, tiny, breakable, huggable."