Magic & Disorders

[Vertigo_Kiwi]

I suffer from an anxiety disorder, which basically means I have irrational fear and worry. I was thinking about this, and I began to wonder whether a person with an anixety disorder (or any other mental disorder) should even bother learning about magic.

Something that really made me worry about this was an article I read about a girl who developed an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for using tarot cards. What if I develop something like that for magic? I can see myself becoming obsessed with spells for protection. Especially since I constantly worry about anyone who leaves the house. In my mind, if they are not back by a specific time I automatically assume they are dead. (example: last night my mom wasn't home by 11:15; I almost cried thinking of the things that I thought had happened to her)

Since I respect people's opinions here, this is the first place I thought to post about this situation. I guess I'm just wondering should I give up my interest in magic because of my disorder? I'm not really asking people to tell me what to do, I just want to see the opinions of other people.  

[TeaDidikai]

Well, of course this would depend on the disorder and the magic in question the person wished to learn.

To my eyes (baring one is on medication) I can only think that being taught and attuned in Reiki would be a good thing.

Same with grounding.  

[Vertigo_Kiwi]

That's what I was thinking (though not so much Reiki, but grounding techniques)

My problem is I'm interested in folk magic (haven't researched it yet) but I believe I'll become too dependent on it. It's difficult to explain; assume that everyday the thought of death comes to me. I'm afraid when I drive a car, when my parents go to work, etc. I feel that if I found some sort of protection magical working, I'd have to do it every day for every occasion just to feel safe.

Then again, all this could also be irrational worry. Perhaps it's not even possible to become obsessed with doing a specific magical working, maybe it's not even a bad thing. That's why you guys are here, to help calm my mind a little bit.  

[TeaDidikai]

On the other hand, there are rituals that some people do every day.

Folk magic lends itself to this well depending on the tradition in question. Something as simple as touching moist earth for both grounding and as a witness to a word of protection can do a lot for a person.  

[midara the happy banshee]

I suffer from anxiety disorder as well, and while it's being managed pretty well by St. John's Wort, I still need to do things to keep it under control.

When I first began doing ritual, I nearly feel into the trap that you mentioned. However, with a lot of work I've managed to find ways around it. First, I learned to trust my gods. If I ask them to keep my family safe and they say they will, I trust them. And to keep myself from asking them a billion times a day, I remind myself how annoying that would be if I was in their shoes.

Also, when doing magic independant of the gods, I subscribe to the vaguely chaos magic theory that the less I think about it the more likely it is to work. So I can't obsess or I'll ruin it. It's worked fairly well so far.  

[Amber Ocean]

I have from bipolar II and PTSD. My cocktail of medications keeps me under control - most of the time.

I don't do magick because I don't feel that I'm dedicated enough to the Craft to do so...but that's just me.  

[Vertigo_Kiwi]

midara the happy banshee

I suffer from anxiety disorder as well, and while it's being managed pretty well by St. John's Wort, I still need to do things to keep it under control.

When I first began doing ritual, I nearly feel into the trap that you mentioned. However, with a lot of work I've managed to find ways around it. First, I learned to trust my gods. If I ask them to keep my family safe and they say they will, I trust them. And to keep myself from asking them a billion times a day, I remind myself how annoying that would be if I was in their shoes.

Also, when doing magic independant of the gods, I subscribe to the vaguely chaos magic theory that the less I think about it the more likely it is to work. So I can't obsess or I'll ruin it. It's worked fairly well so far.

Thanks for the post. I'm still a newbie when it comes to this anxiety disorder, for awhile I was diagnosed with having seizures (which were just panic attacks gone wrong)

I think I should definately start trusting my gods, but lately there have been a few things that have been disrupting that. (we're about to move, depression, etc.) But as you said, it takes a lot of work to go around it.  

[blindfaith^_^]

I have a mild social phobia, which is to say that I am generally unreasonable distrustful of people and tend to over react in social arenas, where fight or flight often takes over prematurely.

I do fine myself constantly doing little rituals before I go into social arenas. They aren't long or complex. In my very early days I took a Scott Cunningham Star Protection Chant from one of his books, the exact title slips my mind at the moment I believe it was something Like Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, Element Magic and I would whisper it to myself anytime I went anywhere even remotely crowded. It did some good in that I was so busy focusing on the little chant that I was to preoccuppied to panic about being squashed in a loud crowd. Of course, my counsilor had actually suggested I write myself something I could say in my head to remind me that people=/= immediate danger to my person.

Another thing I did/ still do is to take a few deep breaths and ground while holding onto my intentions necklace (it is actually a really nifty necklace that is a small box where I put a peice of paper with my intentions in it...I like stuff like that though) before I walk into a place that is crowded or before I have to go somewhere and present infront of people. I also do a lot of visualization sorts or things at night to help to release tension that forms over the possible travesty any human interaction could turn into in my mind, but really most likely won't happen in reality.

I guess what I'm saying is that picking up a magical protection spell, depending on the complexity of the spell or habit might not be a bad thing and actually could be helpful instead of harmful. However that's something you would have to decide for yourself.  

[Vertigo_Kiwi]

Yes, I do see what you mean. Picking up some sort of chant might be beneficial for me. I can see how doing a chant or mantra during a high anixety moment would work. So, that's another thing for me to look into.


By the way, thanks everyone for the replies and advice given. I was actually nervous making this post, and was afraid I'd get a lot of bad attitude. But, it had become a really helpful thread.  

[midara the happy banshee]

Vertigo_Kiwi

By the way, thanks everyone for the replies and advice given. I was actually nervous making this post, and was afraid I'd get a lot of bad attitude. But, it had become a really helpful thread.

No problem. To be honest, I'm thrilled to death that I can help someone. It makes all those bad experiences seem even more worth going through. whee  

[Kuroiban]

Vertigo_Kiwi

Yes, I do see what you mean. Picking up some sort of chant might be beneficial for me. I can see how doing a chant or mantra during a high anixety moment would work. So, that's another thing for me to look into.

By the way, thanks everyone for the replies and advice given. I was actually nervous making this post, and was afraid I'd get a lot of bad attitude. But, it had become a really helpful thread.

You have a valid concearn, and it has been put forth respectfuly and without being entrenched in fluff. This would be the reason you got the good response you have recieved. wink

For my part, I have ADHD and Bi-Polar, so while I don't know how your particular mental mechnisms work, I have at least a feel for it. I really think it matters HOW you use your faith, more then that you do or don't. Whomever this girl is who got her brain all wrapped up around her Tarot deck, chances are her OCD didn't outright COME from the deck, but from something pre-existing.

That's my opinion at least.  

[TatteredAngel]

I would also suggest just being conscious of what you're doing. Using things as an aid to combat your anxiety is a Good Thing, wheras letting them further your anxiety is likely not. Catch yourself when you start to let what you learn get to you in a less pleasant way, and take a step back from it. There is danger in every new undertaking that presents real or percieved solutions to a problem, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, just keep an awareness.  

[Amber Ocean]

I'd suggest breathing exercises for an anxiety disorder - example holding your breath for a certain amount of time and then exhaling deeply. This can also help with breathing. Bringing an 'anti-anxiety' rock which your pour your anxious energy may help as well.  

[Vertigo_Kiwi]

Kuroiban:
Your thoughts on an OCD coming from something pre-existing is good to remember. After making this post and seeing all the replies I feel a bit more at ease with magic and my disorder.


TatteredAngel:
You're right with the idea of keeping an awareness about my anxiety and things that affect it. I think if I do as you say, and attempt to fight my anxiety instead of creating more, than I should be in good shape.

Amber Ocean:
Breathing exercises are something I've been reading about lately. I hope to include when I'm coping with my anxiety.

I've never heard of an anti-anxiety rock, it sounds like it could work. I'll have to try that sometime.  

[Doctrix]

I suffer from a severe mental illness and I grappled with the issue of whether to do magic or undergo serious religious study. In the end, I'm doing both, but things take longer to learn to work for me. I always joke that I'm on the "Special Ed. Witch program!"