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 Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 5:30 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:33 am
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:47 am
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:59 am
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 10:27 am
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 3:58 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:29 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 8:18 am
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 6:56 pm
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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 12:41 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 7:23 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 6:18 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 7:07 pm
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Hmmmmmmmmmmm... Intriguing. Do post soon-- you've piqued my interest. (Oh, and are you planning on posting the cover art you mentioned? I'd love to see it.)
((Oh, and one more thing: two different people don't speak in the same paragraph. It shouldn't do this, for example:
". . . Diaru froze and turned around to see his father leaning in the doorway with a cigarette in his mouth. His long, greasy black hair fell into his eyes and overshadowed his once-handsome features, but the bright red rings remained visible. 'So Ashuramaru just upped and left, huh?' Ryosuke asked his youngest son. 'Guess he was just scared of me. Wouldn’t be surprised, though. Everyone’s scared of me.'
‘I’m scared of me,’ he mentally added.
'Too bad,' he continued. 'I thought he was stronger than–' 'Shut up!' Diaru snarled. 'He’s not scared of you! He’s not scared of anything! And he’ll come back! I know it!'
Ryosuke gazed steadily at Diaru through long strands of hair, his face expressionless. Then a slight smirk crossed his face, but it was different from all of the smirks that Diaru had seen his father give: it was not in anyway sadistic, but… proud. It showed in his eyes, too. A look of fatherly pride glittered in his dark, broken eyes as he walked across the room to his son. In the single moment of affection Diaru would ever receive from his father, Ryosuke crouched down so they were at eye-level, placed his bony hand atop his son’s head, and whispered gently, 'Diaru, I know he’ll come back for you… he cares too much about you to leave you behind. It’s touching to see how much faith you have in him.' His expression saddened. 'But people aren’t as strong as you think…'. . ."
Diaru's interruption shouldn't be in the same paragraph as Ryosuke's words. See?))
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