Rape/sexual assult....your opinion

[Rellik San]

Isobel Bellamy

-Resurrected Writer-

[If a woman can be raped by an attractive man...

The legal system usually usues a man's beauty to say he didn't rape a woman, using the "he's twice as attractive as her, she wouldn't possibly say no" notion (apparently, ugly girls sould feel lucky to get any attention at all, and are rampantly attracted to men more attractive then them and won't be able to control themselves around them, same with larger women with slender men.)

And yes, condescending, sexist ideas do get men off the hook in rape cases. (3% conviction rate of reported cases, depresing huh?).

I have an axe to grind btw, I'm also a campaigner for better treatment of rape victims in court, please help me by being terribly annoying to everyone around you about how women get treated like s**t when they've had what will probably one of the worst experineces of their life.

Izzie: cantankerous yet damn hard to argue with 3nodding

Saying that though isn't the conviction rate of men raped by women even lower?  

[-Resurrected Writer-]

Rellik San

Isobel Bellamy

-Resurrected Writer-

[If a woman can be raped by an attractive man...

The legal system usually usues a man's beauty to say he didn't rape a woman, using the "he's twice as attractive as her, she wouldn't possibly say no" notion (apparently, ugly girls sould feel lucky to get any attention at all, and are rampantly attracted to men more attractive then them and won't be able to control themselves around them, same with larger women with slender men.)

And yes, condescending, sexist ideas do get men off the hook in rape cases. (3% conviction rate of reported cases, depresing huh?).

I have an axe to grind btw, I'm also a campaigner for better treatment of rape victims in court, please help me by being terribly annoying to everyone around you about how women get treated like s**t when they've had what will probably one of the worst experineces of their life.

Izzie: cantankerous yet damn hard to argue with 3nodding

Saying that though isn't the conviction rate of men raped by women even lower?

Seriously - considering that the male gender is usually considered the sex-chasing one, we're more often thought of as "getting lucky" in a situation of being a rape victim.  

[Isobel Bellamy]

-Resurrected Writer-

Rellik San

Isobel Bellamy

-Resurrected Writer-

[If a woman can be raped by an attractive man...

The legal system usually usues a man's beauty to say he didn't rape a woman, using the "he's twice as attractive as her, she wouldn't possibly say no" notion (apparently, ugly girls sould feel lucky to get any attention at all, and are rampantly attracted to men more attractive then them and won't be able to control themselves around them, same with larger women with slender men.)

And yes, condescending, sexist ideas do get men off the hook in rape cases. (3% conviction rate of reported cases, depresing huh?).

I have an axe to grind btw, I'm also a campaigner for better treatment of rape victims in court, please help me by being terribly annoying to everyone around you about how women get treated like s**t when they've had what will probably one of the worst experineces of their life.

Izzie: cantankerous yet damn hard to argue with 3nodding

Saying that though isn't the conviction rate of men raped by women even lower?

Seriously - considering that the male gender is usually considered the sex-chasing one, we're more often thought of as "getting lucky" in a situation of being a rape victim.

Yep, very true on male rape, it suffers the same, if not worse stigma as female-rape, and if the victim is gay there's a general odour of "it's what you like, why are you complaining" - much like with women (I'm talking male-male rape here obviously).

Also, guys find it even harder to say they've been raped - they're supposedly the stronger of the sexes, and there's also a fear of being labelled as gay (then being labelled gay is worse - which is what sometimes happens).

Essentially, if you've been raped, you're screwed for getting a conviction.  

[Rellik San]

Isobel Bellamy

-Resurrected Writer-

Rellik San

Isobel Bellamy

-Resurrected Writer-

[If a woman can be raped by an attractive man...

The legal system usually usues a man's beauty to say he didn't rape a woman, using the "he's twice as attractive as her, she wouldn't possibly say no" notion (apparently, ugly girls sould feel lucky to get any attention at all, and are rampantly attracted to men more attractive then them and won't be able to control themselves around them, same with larger women with slender men.)

And yes, condescending, sexist ideas do get men off the hook in rape cases. (3% conviction rate of reported cases, depresing huh?).

I have an axe to grind btw, I'm also a campaigner for better treatment of rape victims in court, please help me by being terribly annoying to everyone around you about how women get treated like s**t when they've had what will probably one of the worst experineces of their life.

Izzie: cantankerous yet damn hard to argue with 3nodding

Saying that though isn't the conviction rate of men raped by women even lower?

Seriously - considering that the male gender is usually considered the sex-chasing one, we're more often thought of as "getting lucky" in a situation of being a rape victim.

Yep, very true on male rape, it suffers the same, if not worse stigma as female-rape, and if the victim is gay there's a general odour of "it's what you like, why are you complaining" - much like with women (I'm talking male-male rape here obviously).

Also, guys find it even harder to say they've been raped - they're supposedly the stronger of the sexes, and there's also a fear of being labelled as gay (then being labelled gay is worse - which is what sometimes happens).

Essentially, if you've been raped, you're screwed for getting a conviction.

Unless you've been raped by someone high profile.
Then your face, whether you want it or not is plastered all over the media for like minded to crooks to think "What an easy target."

Its a catch 22.  

[The Goth Apple]

lurichan

I'll second that. It is good that more people now a days feel comfortable coming forward and bringing their violator to justice, but there is also the increasing trend in manipulative people crying crocadile tears and claiming that someone raped them when in actuallity it was fully consentual.

I feel that fear of association with that sort of people may be one of the aspects of why some people don't come forward.
The idea of willfully destroying another person's life disgusts me. Both rape, and accusing someone of rape effectively does that.  

[Strawberry Bunny Magician]

I'd say it depend son the situation because if it was just a rape it should be treated like murder but just touching you and kissing you nude does not need to be treated that serious.Of course if the rape was he popped me then that needs to be treated wwaaayyy better than a murder.Myt boyfriends girlfriend got raped and had a kid but put it up for adoption.(I broke up with him when I found out he had 3 kids with that 15 year old he was 17)Anyway she got raped and popped.Haha that b***h got raped.I'm just kidding I know I would'nt like that.My boifrend tried to freak me when I was getting ready to go to school but my friend kicked him in his nuts.  

[Sica_Lunae]

It's been about a year and a half, and I still can't use the word.

My then boyfriend and I had talked about having sex for a few months, but when it actually came time, I didn't want to do it.

It hurt, and I said no, stop, please.

But he kept going, and covered my mouth with his hand.

I never reported it...

It makes me cry to think about it, but I don't know.

He was sorry as hell afterward, and he apologized profusely.

I loved him and trusted him a lot.

I only told a few of my friends a few weeks ago.

It's strange... I was able to supress it for so long, but now that I told someone, it's real. It's haunting.

And I want nothing more than to forget, but I can't.

Thanks.  

[mechanical kitsy]

Court rejects death penalty for child rape.


was reading this article, and thinking, they probably wouldn't feel that way if it had happened to them. and sorry if i'm on the conservative judge's side, but raping a child is just wrong, and i'd like to kill any person who does that. i mean, in prison, people who hurt a child in any way are at the bottom of the bottom in the food chain. so it's not just me with that opinion.  

[Dark_Style]

Rapists should get the death penalty. WHat they have done is unforgivable under all circumstances.

In my city 3 homless people held a childmolester down and stomped his head untill his skull exploded and his brains came out. He got what he ******** deserved.  

[VampyricOrigins]

VampyricOrigins

I'm going to try and shed some new light (if it hasn't already been shed on this topic already) Now before anyone gets crazy or anything I'm into the BDSM lifestyle...but maybe this will help people understand more about Rape and what is called "Rape Play" and my feelings on it...Also...anyone who wants to express their feelings to me please Pm me...im not here to make a mockery of this subject, nor am i here trying to justify rape...only an idiot would justify the true act of rape...

Rape is a terrible crime that has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with someone using sex as a means of attaining personal power through subjugation of another person. It is a power play by someone who probably feels they have no personal power, so they use rape as a means to feel powerful. It is a horrible act that is devestating to the victim, be it a man or a woman. Interestingly, rape remains a rather common fantasy among women. I am not saying that women who think or fantasize about rape, truly wish to experience a real rape. Usually these women prefer to be overpowered, feel helpless, and in some way this scenario removes from them any responsibility for enjoying the sexual acts which are "forced" upon them. But they desire it in a safe manner. With someone who they KNOW will not truly injure them.

These fantasies play a part in BDSM. To many it is considered one of the darker sides of BDSM. Many people enact these consensual rape fantasies with their partners, and I have been involved in discussions about them. One group of people I have discussed this with chose to call these fantasies "ravishment's" because the word rape has a well deserved reputation of violence.

For some the enacting of a rape fantasy is a way to regain power in themselves that they lost due to a rape or molestation in their pasts. (not a treatment I would recommend but it is one I can understand) For others the helplessness and "overpowering" of the male over the female in such a scene is the major turn on. While knowing that at all times, they are actually safe from any real harm. It can be a very releasing scene to do. It is a very tricky scene as well and not something that should be done without careful planning and a lot of discussion before hand. It is a role play scene, like teacher/student, daddy/daughter, or boss/employee. But a rape fantasy has specific instances all it's own. For example for it to feel real the people involved must play their roles correctly, while watching closely for signs that the scene is going bad. For the "victim" in the scene, it is easy to trigger a panic attack through uncovering old abuse that was repressed. If there are abuse issues in the past of the submissive, it is extremely important that these things be discussed in depth before such a scene is even attempted. Try to find any possible triggers and avoid them in the scene.

Fantasy rape if done correctly can be a very intense scene for those involved. It includes such things as psychological effects as well as physical ones. The participants must be aware of these effects. It is a good idea for both participants to do some research into the psychological effects of rape. This can make it easier for the dominant to spot any possible triggers that may occur, or become aware of the scene going awry before it reaches a point of real damage. Remember, such a scene is psychologically and emotionally dangerous as well as physically dangerous. I believe that such a scene should never be undertaken without a safe word. It is far too easy for this scene to get out of hand and the submissive must have a way of stopping it should the need arise. If a rape fantasy scene is being discussed and the
dominant does not offer a safe word, then the submissive should, in my opinion, ask for one. If it is not given, then the scene should not be consented to. Remember that all scenes (except punishment) are done for mutual pleasure and in order to achieve pleasure the participants must feel safe and as relaxed as possible. A safe word helps provide those things.

Such a scene takes careful planning and carrying out. I believe that such a scene should not be done early on in a relationship because quite simply the participants don't know as much about each other when the relationship is still establishing itself. After care with such a scene is highly important. The submissive may have entered a true victim mindset (overpowered by fear), and have some trouble adjusting when the scene has ended. It is imperative that the dominant reassures the submissive that he/she is safe, loved, and cared for. Things like cuddling, massage, a bit of pampering, or other such soothing actions can help make the transition from the rape role play back to normal functioning. After the scene, it is imperative as well, that the participants discuss the scene. what happened, what went wrong, what they
liked, didn't like and anything else that comes up around this scene. Most likely these conversations will take place more than once.

Just like the major difference between domestic violence and BDSM is the informed choice to consent to the activities, the same thing applies here. An informed choice to consent to such a fantasy enactment is what prevents it from being an actual rape. A rape victim had no choice. A submissive who participates in a rape fantasy has chosen to do so.

~Raven Shadowborne © 1998 http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/ravenrapefantasies.htm ~