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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 8:52 am
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:39 pm
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I work at a diagnostic imaging office. One of our imaging technicians (who is related to my boss) has started to make passes at me. I don't like it - it makes me uncomfortable and scared.
I tried not to think anything of it when he was lingering near my desk for prolonged periods of time. I figured I was being paranoid when he started spending a lot of time rummaging around in the cabinets behind where I sit (I have a thing about people being behind me - particularly when there's no reason for them to be [plenty of room in the area, not a crowd, etc.]) and it made my skin crawl. I thought he was maybe just a little socially awkward when he started asking me about drug use, or about my personal life, or about how women in my country and my culture get by (check this out!) without ever having to do anything - that they should take their luxury to seek a higher education, because they (and I quote) "do ******** about their responsibilities in the home." I started to feel that there was something more to it when he began talking at me about his drug hookups, or the fact that his wife was going to be out of town soon for a prolonged period of time.
I know how to handle the situation, it's just terrifying. It makes me nauseous to think about it. But I guess it's a matter of document, document, document. Just... GAAAH. I shouldn't have to do this, really. This s**t is ******** stupid and I wish he and his leering and his misogynistic comments could just drop right off the face of the earth. stressed Being in possession of a v****a does not make me cattle, or property, or a crack-whore, or 'fair game.' I will play nice for now, and lay low, and document every non-work-related word that passes between us, and if he touches me, then by the gods, I will touch him back, and he will not be happy about ********.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:20 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 12:04 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 12:39 pm
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Ultramarine Violet I work at a diagnostic imaging office. One of our imaging technicians (who is related to my boss) has started to make passes at me. I don't like it - it makes me uncomfortable and scared.
I tried not to think anything of it when he was lingering near my desk for prolonged periods of time. I figured I was being paranoid when he started spending a lot of time rummaging around in the cabinets behind where I sit (I have a thing about people being behind me - particularly when there's no reason for them to be [plenty of room in the area, not a crowd, etc.]) and it made my skin crawl. I thought he was maybe just a little socially awkward when he started asking me about drug use, or about my personal life, or about how women in my country and my culture get by (check this out!) without ever having to do anything - that they should take their luxury to seek a higher education, because they (and I quote) "do ******** about their responsibilities in the home." I started to feel that there was something more to it when he began talking at me about his drug hookups, or the fact that his wife was going to be out of town soon for a prolonged period of time.
I know how to handle the situation, it's just terrifying. It makes me nauseous to think about it. But I guess it's a matter of document, document, document. Just... GAAAH. I shouldn't have to do this, really. This s**t is ******** stupid and I wish he and his leering and his misogynistic comments could just drop right off the face of the earth. stressed Being in possession of a v****a does not make me cattle, or property, or a crack-whore, or 'fair game.' I will play nice for now, and lay low, and document every non-work-related word that passes between us, and if he touches me, then by the gods, I will touch him back, and he will not be happy about ******** class="clear">
Some guys just need a little reality check. My husband has a hard time realizing when I am seriously concerned about something I don't normally need (or ask) for help with. Sometimes you need to make him sit down and look you in the face to tell him what you need to, so he knows you really need his help.
As for talking to the boss, I have been there, done that, but once I did, I guess I was flagged as a lawsuit risk. I don't believe courts solve anything when it comes to sexual harassment, I would take matters into my own hands before I took someone to court (though I didn't go so far into that). Either way, I was out the door within 2 weeks with no explanation, and no bad history with the company.
Documentation is the best thing you can do for yourself. As for covering up, I wouldn't change what I wear for anyone but myself. Besides, some smartass lawyer could misconstrue any change in you behavior in regards to his as a boon to his case.
I think making your guy see how concerned you are would help you out allot... and if guy's asinine behavior continues, a right word dropped discretely in the right place about his drug use would probably make an end to your problem.
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 5:31 pm
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Taliah So sorry to hear about that Violet. sad These situations are so frustrating because there is only so much you can do without having to be terribly mean and blunt about their advances and how they make you feel. Are you on good terms with the boss? Maybe they can tell them to leave you alone.... but there's always the chance that might make it worse. sad The situation is not very good, I just hope that it comes to an end soon without any major terribleness. Also, I would figure your man would at least be somewhat annoyed. Mine gets really protective if a strange man so much as gives me a compliment. Maybe I just have a jealous man. Thanks, Taliah. I appreciate your good thoughts, and will try to put their energy toward the best possible resolution. heart (As an aside, have I seen you on here before? Your username seems familiar...)
Unfortunately, he's the boss's brother. So my hands are kind of tied. I spoke to the guy directly, but... well, for conciseness, I'm gonna tack an update on the end of this post. Read on! xd
You may have a jealous man, or I may just have a really, fantastically clever man. The more I think about it, the more I think demanding a reaction from him may have been bait, so that I could give symbolic vent to my frustrations when I really needed to handle things more literally. So... xd Don't hold it against him too badly. sweatdrop
Eltanin Sadachbia As for talking to the boss, I have been there, done that, but once I did, I guess I was flagged as a lawsuit risk. I don't believe courts solve anything when it comes to sexual harassment, I would take matters into my own hands before I took someone to court (though I didn't go so far into that). Either way, I was out the door within 2 weeks with no explanation, and no bad history with the company. Documentation is the best thing you can do for yourself. As for covering up, I wouldn't change what I wear for anyone but myself. Besides, some smartass lawyer could misconstrue any change in you behavior in regards to his as a boon to his case. I think making your guy see how concerned you are would help you out allot... and if guy's asinine behavior continues, a right word dropped discretely in the right place about his drug use would probably make an end to your problem. Thanks for the heads-up on the 'talking to the boss' thing... With the way the job market is right now, I'm glad I didn't risk myself by going straight to the boss. 3nodding I've been documenting everything carefully, and boy-oh-boy, have the Wonder Twins been giving me a lot to document.
I actually spoke with the offender (Let's call him T) yesterday. There was a witness present - one of my co-workers - puttering around in the background, as I told T clearly that I was uncomfortable, and what behaviors made me uncomfortable, as well as how to avoid those behaviors in the future.
Today, his brother (My boss, S) interrupted my work at least every twenty minutes for the entire time he was in the office to redirect me to some trivial task - essentially acted as though I was his personal assistant. Then, when he left for the day, T came up front and started lingering around the front desk in between patients. He spent a lot of time leaning on the front desk and asking me about things that were only marginally work-related (one of my suggestions was that we limit our conversation solely to work-related matters).
It seems to me as though T may not have gotten the hint, and I wonder if S is trying to punish me for speaking up? I hope I'm just paranoid, but he did dump a -much- larger workload on me than usual, today. Luckily, there's enough downtime at our facility that I was able to get all caught up, but the timing seems odd. S runs the facility, so I don't have a way to go higher up that I know of, though I guess I could ask the billing administrator. It'll take me some time to figure out my footing at this stage of things, but I'll keep you guys posted.
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:29 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 2:54 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:19 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 11:19 am
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Taliah Ultramarine Violet I thought he was maybe just a little socially awkward when he started asking me about drug use, or about my personal life, or about how women in my country and my culture get by (check this out!) without ever having to do anything - that they should take their luxury to seek a higher education, because they (and I quote) "do ******** about their responsibilities in the home." I meant to ask about this bit before, because it has me curious. Where are you from, if you don't mind my asking? ((asks the average mutt American sweatdrop )) You're not American! scream You're not even wearing a flag on your head!
xd I'm from America, as well. My co-workers, however, are Pakistani (Literally the entire staff, with the exception of three others.)
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 8:45 am
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:20 pm
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Dear "Wiccan" girl in my club on campus,
I like you. A lot, really, and probably more than you think I do.
It's just... when you bring up ideas for us to do, it's all the same generic NeoPagan stuff. This is not a club for that. Some of it is useful for everyone, yes, and your perspective deserves space, but most of us are not the flavor of NeoPagan you are. So forgive me for not agreeing that "observing the 8 major holidays should be fundamental." I don't really observe them. If we do, we should also observe holidays from other traditions represented as a fundamental core value. Prepare yourself for the Ludi Cereales, Saturnalia, Bacchanalia, and the billion other Roman holidays on my religious calendar. Just wait till we get a Greek Recon or something; we'll be celebrating every meeting.
Sincerely, Illiezeulette
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Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 7:47 pm
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