[Wingrider] Chaia of Green Sayrth [Approved]

[magnadearel]

Name: Chaia
Age: 33 Turns
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Homosexual
Weyr: Western Weyr
Rider Rank: Wingrider
Previous Rank/Craft: If applicable.
Physical Description:
Chaia stands very tall for a woman at 5'11". Her weight is somewhat thin, but she's broad in the hips and shoulders. She has averaged sized, hazel eyes. Her hair is a wavy, mid-length brown, and her skin is dark brown.

Personality:
Chaia is very much focused upon her partner, Alisera. She tends to go out of her way to do nice things for her weyrmate. When she isn't around her weyrmate or her dragon, she’s able to turn her attention to another person or task. Chaia would do anything for Alisera. She is super selfless when it comes to her weyrmate; anything she needs can wait until Alisera is taken care of in her eyes. She needs to be reminded that she has to take care of herself too. As selfless as she is, Chaia hides when she really needs help or to do something for herself. This poses a serious problem as she will often work herself to the bone and get sick.

Chaia is the type of person who is self-reliant. She believes she can handle any task given to her, even those meant for more than one person to do. She easily forgets that she can call upon others to help her. Her forgetfulness is notorious and often gets her into trouble with her wing. Chaia forgets when wing drills or other training is scheduled and arrives late after her dragon reminds her. It negatively affects her skills as a rider. She is unpolished in her skills as she learned just enough to get through the lessons. The greenrider never expected these skills would come into place once more, and she’ll probably never be as good as some.

Why did Thread have to return? Chaia often has an airy air about herself. She prefers to be carefree. Nothing beats chillin’ on the beach for days on end. It’s difficult for her to accept the new responsibility of riders. While she’s relaxing, Chaia loves to be glamorous. Often she is wearing the latest trend in fashion. Getting dressed up in her finest and seeing Alisera all fancy is her second favorite past time. The first is going out after getting all dressed up.

Positive Trait List: focused, selfless, self-reliant, glamorous
Negative Trait List: forgetful, airy, unpolished, deceptive


History:
Chaia was born at Western Weyr to a brownrider and a weyrworker. She is the second oldest of four siblings. The first born and third born are also girls. The youngest of the family is a spoiled boy. Chaia and her sisters teamed up when their brother tried to prank them, which was often. It never seemed to detour him for long though.

In the cretch, she met Alisera. The two girls hit it off well and were often found together. Chores seemed to go faster when she worked with her friend, and punishment didn't seem as bad with another standing there with her. When she turned 14, Chaia began standing for clutches. It was lonely standing alone until Alisera was able to join her four turns later. She enjoyed being able to whisper about clutches late at night with her best friend.

It was another two turns before her dragon hatched. She was so happy when green Sayrth called her from among the candidates. It was sad too because Alisera didn't find her dragon. However, a turn later her friend was also singled out by a green. After the greens reached adulthood, the two women became very close and eventually weyrmates.

Other: Weyrmate to Alisera (Thali)

DRAGON
Name: Sayrth
Age: 13 Turns
Color: Green
Size: 26' 5"
Physical Description: She's a lanky green with wide wings and a tiny-ish head.
Personality:
Sayrth is a green who takes pride in her skills as a dragon. She has a certain elegance about her when doing her job, no matter how dirty she gets. This green always puts her best foot forward. However, she is one of those greens who is so easily distracted by anything and everything that she has a hard time focusing on the task at hand. Despite being the one to get herself and her rider to training, she will probably be the bane to her wingleader’s patience. This green is also incredibly selfish for herself. If she sees another dragon with a juicy mutton, she’ll wish she had it for herself.

While she is scattered brained, she has an uncanny sense that she is supposed to be somewhere at some time. Sayrth knows they need to help the weyr, and does her best to try to remember when they are needing to show up for wing drills. The green relies heavily upon others when her memory fails her. She relies upon them to help her remember where and when the meeting places and times are. Unfortunately, she can become annoying to those less patient and willing to constantly answer the same question. Saryth knows a dragon and her rider need a purpose. While she enjoys laying around on the beaches all day the green will knuckle down when it’s time to work. She’ll throw herself into it and drag her rider with her.

Positive Trait List: recollection, obligated, refined
Negative Trait List: scattered brained, selfish, relies upon others

Dragon Art or Proof of Obtainment: colorist Pach
 

[magnadearel]

ready.  

[Uta]

Hey Magna!

A few things--

1. You need to fill out a physical description before we actually QC this. :3

2. Please remove the neutral traits. I'd move them down to the Other: section, or somehow work them in her profile. We don't ask for neutral traits and would prefer if all of our profiles matched the template, and weren't added to or edited.

3. Also, you need to remove the clutch. While that might be a clutch you hope to get her hatched from, these are first-come, first-serve, and having one picked out already goes against the set rules of our shop. You need her approved first and then you must request the clutch date assuming it's still available. Sorry to be a stickler, we just don't want to give folks the wrong idea if they happen to be snooping on up-and-coming characters.  

[magnadearel]

Sorry I can't believe I forgot a physical description! XD Total derp on my part.
Ah I thought more was better. I moved them into positive and negative traits.
Apologies if that's how it seemed. I wasn't trying to reserve the clutch and was mainly putting it in so I wouldn't forget what I'd calculated. Removed it.  

[Uta]

Could you expand on all the data points ? I see you go into a little detail in her personality, but... her appearance is a bit scarce and we really need these to be a little fleshed out.

Like for example, you say she's very tall but how tall is that? 5'9? 6'4"? 6'2" 5'11"? Somewhat thin, like how thin? That's going to be based on her height, wouldn't it? So if she was 120lbs and only 5'8 she'd be even thinner if she was actually 6'2". And what does somewhat broad mean? Broad shouldered? Broad chested? Broad hips? Etc.

Additionally, her personality could use some fleshing out. We know what the terms mean but sometimes going into depth really helps. Like where she's focused on her partner, does that mean she's not focused on anything or anyone else? Clearly, she's selfless, but the way it's written it sounds more like a negative trait as she's TOO selfless. Not a positive as it's listed. Also, how does this effect her outside of her weyrmate and during her skills as a wingrider? Does she go above-and-beyond for them too or does she cause them trouble because she's always doing bare-minimum and forgetting things? You say she's deceptive but what does that mean? Is it ONLY when she needs help that she doesn't speak up? Or is she deceptive in other fashions? As a negative trait, it needs to be an actual clear character flaw. I'd go through each point and really try to give them a bit more rounding out.

I see what you've done is a start, but if you could try to really think about the traits as they effect her as a whole and in different environments, that would be great! Having purely data-point driven characters is really tricky to read, and (especially for future Candidates you might make) having only data-points is REALLY hard to match. I get she's a rider but I still feel like there are some holes in her personality.  

[magnadearel]

Giving this another go.  

[Tsunake]

Approved!