Polair took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose as she tried to understand Deimos. She really tried, but she could not see the whole point of feeling and dreams. Polair still struggled to understand because she was convinced she was right.
"Doing this way, my way, allows me to move on." She spoke with the amount of confidence that she could muster. It was enough to hide some or most of her cracks. "This is all I am able to do. It's all I've ever known." She couldn't risk to feel nor help to feel guilty about how her life turned out. "I... Can't force you to understand... But, if I ever understand what you mean... I'll let you know."
Polair sighed looking to the side. Stardom was a way to keep her busy, a way to discover herself out of her comfort zone. Therapeutic but... It lacked somethings that she enjoyed. The highblood gave up on many things the moment she decided to take on the stage. Yet as hard as the change was, this was the only thing she saw herself doing. "my place is at the stage, I no longer belong elsewhere." Some members of the scientific community made that clear. She just couldn't do science. Too dangerous for her and to risky to obtain false leads and information.
"...Thank you. For... At least hearing me out. " She knew things weren't unresolved but this was a start. Right? "I, um, should go back to practicing." She still had plenty of time to practice before the backup dancers and choreographer showed up. But those little actions kept her from being overwhelmed. They kept her in control.
nepsah
here u go ♥