[PRP] Collision (Tevini + Cerpin)

[Yamashii]

even the best fall down sometimes

 

[Yamashii]

Unfortunately, the walk home had been incredibly short. The Chittentown Space Tower was in the same city as Underworld which meant they hadn't had far to go. It hadn't given him much time to mull over what he was going to say. All he knew was there was no way out of it this time. Tevini deserved answers even if they were going to put him in a bad spot. She was his partner. She had to know these things. It was just... his nerves were taking years off his life right now.

It was crazy to think that the cocky confident Cerpin Sugall could be afraid of a single girl- a single quiet girl behind the scenes that rarely posed a threat to anyone.

"Vee, I... I'm sorry." The door shut behind them with a heavy thud and he tried to steel himself to be calm. The two of them glanced around awkwardly to verify Mahmud wasn't in the room. He didn't want the orangeblood to see what was about to go down. It looked like they were alone for now and he set his bag down on a random table. The club wasn't going to be open again for another two days. They'd had to shut it down while they were gone for fear of getting robbed.

"I know I screwed up on the flagship and I'm sorry. I overreacted and freaked out." It would be best to start from the earlier incident and work his way forward. "I felt like he was luring you away from me and what we're trying to do and it scared me!" He felt like a child, explaining things like this. It sounded so stupid now but in the moment, he'd panicked. The idea of losing Tevini after he'd finally sorted out his feelings was terrifying.

"I'll answer anything you ask, just... please forgive me."

Doutei

 

[Doutei]

As soon as the door shut she put down her bags and waited for Mahmud to disappear to his room. It wasn't that she wanted him gone but rather Tevini didn't want the anxious boy to get caught in what was coming next. She tidied the room idly while watching Cerpin, letting him see her expectant gaze.

"What happened back there?" The redblood asked as soon as they were clear. She crossed her arms as he replied, listening carefully but not understanding. What was Cerpin saying? She frowned as he paused, clearly bracing himself for her response. The problem was where to start? A lot of things had happened at the tower and she had so many questions. There were a lot of things she wanted to say but couldn't yet. They had to talk about this properly and go in order.

"Cerpin, I don't understand. What he was offering me was good." The redblood hadn't fully explained her angle of things, she supposed, but why hadn't the purpleblood seen that opportunity for what it was. She hated to admit Sascha was right but he was. She was in no condition to fly a ship yet, she needed to be trained. Sure she had managed to get a good handle on calling forth her psionics but it wasn't the same as what he'd described. Regrettably she hadn't managed to see it in action yet but one day she hoped to witness another pilot at work.

"We need that chance for me to receive real training! I expect you to apologize to him so you don't jeopardize this." The redblood declared. She felt odd being so frank about it but figured it'd be best to be upfront. She was trying hard not to give in to disappointment and retreat behind that door again.

"I don't know what you mean by luring but whatever you're afraid of won't be a problem. I can take care of this." Tevini wasn't sure what Cerpin was doubting of her but she would do her best to be strong and show him that everything was fine. Sure she was frustrated and mad but... that was sadly kind of their... normal?

Yamashii

 

[Yamashii]

"That's just it- it was too good an offer! He could have pulled you back into normal society if you wanted. You could have... a promising future in the military with powers like that. All you'd have to do is abandon the rebels." And me. The words hung unspoken in the air between them. Cerpin's face was full of shame and embarrassment. He knew he had been out of line. But the idea of her going to that lab and doing things without him scared him.

It felt like she was always leaving him behind.

"I didn't want that. And I'm not going to apologize to him! I'm sorry for what I did but we'll have to find a different way to get the training." There had to be other options they could pursue. They might not be as fast or as easy but that bridge had already been burned in Cerpin's eyes. Tevini looked confused and angry at his stubborn refusal and he crossed his arms before further explaining the decision.

"I'm not going to meet him again. I... told him. That I'm a rebel." This news was not going to go over well. But there was nothing he could do to soften it. Dragging his feet was only going to lengthen the stress of this interrogation. Tevini was not the type of person to let things go without analyzing them to the tiniest detail. He had a feeling he was going to get deconstructed and destroyed after this.

"That friendship is over." It was painful to admit it out loud. Cerpin's face burned in frustration and embarrassment over the memories of what had happened. He wanted to see Sascha again so badly but it was too much of a risk. He couldn't afford to lose control again and further jeopardize everything they'd built. They'd poured their entire lives into the Rebel Space Program.

For once in his life, he refused to be selfish. Hah, she meant that much to him, huh? How embarrassing.

Doutei

 

[Doutei]

"Stop being so stubborn, all you have to do is-" Tevini huffed at Cerpin's strange insistence to cut that option. He was pretty dramatic about things like this but usually could be persuaded by logic or if she was equally stubborn back. Tevini's words were cut short, however, as he confessed.

"You... told him." The redblood was stunned. She hadn't expected that. She froze as she struggled to determine what it meant from here. Cerpin's words were vague and unhelpful. She needed more information.

"What happened? Why did you tell him? What did you do? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Her voice grew louder as she found herself more upset over it. Eventually she was shouting. Tevini had scolded Cerpin before, hell she'd even yelled at him, but usually it was a scream and leave sort of situation. Right now that wasn't an option and so she hated that she couldn't escape the pounding in her chest. What the hell had Cerpin done?

"I don't understand! Why didn't you talk to me about this? This affects more than just you, you know. I..." The redblood felt shaky and unstable.

"I thought we were partners."

Yamashii

 

[Yamashii]

"We ARE partners, Vee! I'm just incredibly stupid!" Tevini was not one to stick around and yell at him. He was in deep s**t if she was still standing here screaming at him. The words she was saying cracked at the fragile peace between them. He wanted badly to fix things but they were going to get a whole lot worse before they could get better.

They were good questions. They were bad answers.

"I don't know! He was- and I felt- I was so angry I couldn't stop myself!" The words came out scrambled and frustrated. Cerpin could tell she was feeling similarly angry but much more so. He struggled to put into words what he'd been feeling in that moment back then. How did you describe a descent into madness brought about by an intense affection and hatred for an idiot who didn't understand anything but needed to? The purpleblood slammed his palm down onto the counter of the bar.

"He drives me crazy and I can't help it- he wanted answers about the flagship and he had me cornered." Somehow he had to get through these words. Tevini deserved to know what was going on. "It was like maybe if I explained it, he'd come away with me- with us!" Confessing this childish desire out loud was humiliating. Cerpin knew how stupid it sounded. He was so used to being spoiled that it felt incredibly devastating to lose out on what he wanted.

"I... want him so badly. I forced a kiss on him. We yelled and screamed at each other to convince each other to abandon ship but- that was the one thing I couldn't do! I couldn't leave you!" Cerpin grabbed at Tevini's wrist, desperate to ensure she didn't leave again. He could not lose her again. Not when he had finally sorted through his feelings and cemented his commitment to their project. He would break.

"I'll do whatever you say. Just please, don't leave me- I love you!" His eyes were wet with emotion and his voice wavered with a vulnerable vibrato unlike his usual persona. He would lay himself bare if that was what it took.

Doutei

 

[Doutei]

Cerpin's face destroyed her. That look of desperation and longing in his eyes, she'd never seen it before. Staring at him as he proclaimed his feelings loudly without any room for ambiguity, Tevini felt her world shift. That was it then, Sascha had won.

Damn him.

As always, tears threatened her. They'd be here soon. The redblood looked up at the ceiling, fighting them back. She was tired of crying. She swallowed the ugly emotions down. The boiling anger started to simmer as she tried to make sense of it all. His hand on her's held tight, burning.

"Cerpin, stop. It's okay." Her voice finally sounded once she'd considered all of the information at hand. Tevini reached forward with her other hand to lightly squeeze his. While she found his actions foolish, she was starting to piece together why he was doing them. It was sad and she hated that they'd ended up in this position because of her earlier mistakes. Cerpin had made many mistakes up to this point but Tevini had realized and accepted that she had too.

"You don't need to say this. I'm not going to run off again. Please, believe me." The panic in his eyes that they'd both realized his feelings for Sascha had pushed her out of his heart, it was painful. But a confession like this out of fear was hurtful. She couldn't accept it. Tevini had made up her mind back at that tower, they didn't need to love each other to still help each other. Cerpin hadn't realized he was safe again so she needed to reassure him.

"For now we need to figure out a damage control plan. What did Sascha do when you told him? Did he kiss you back? What did he say?" Redirecting the conversation back to the important problem, Tevini spoke in a steady though tense voice. It killed her to hear all of this but she couldn't get started until she knew what she was working with.

Yamashii

 

[Yamashii]

"What? But I mean it! Don't change the subject-" She was shutting him out and he didn't understand why. Tevini was pointedly not responding to his confession and it frustrated him to sweep it under the rug. And yet he could not deny that he was afraid she would run away again at the first sign of trouble. Despite her words, he was not reassured. If they couldn't talk about these things openly and honestly, how strong was this relationship?

Her cool glare pierced through him. She wasn't going to entertain his feelings until she got what information she wanted.

"He didn't shove me off but we didn't talk about what it meant either. Mostly, we just argued about our respective sides. He thinks what we're doing is suicidal but he also thinks the spectrum is wrong. I just don't understand why he'd fight for it if he can see how terrible it is!" The back and forth had vocalized so many of the concerns and fears Cerpin had been trying to ignore about his work with the Phoenix Initiative. This whole time, he'd been convincing himself that the risks were worth it because somehow they'd come out on top, on the right side of history. But it was entirely possible and much more likely that they'd end up dead, floating in a tomb among the stars like so many of the ships they'd swept through on those missions.

"I asked him if he was happy. He said his own feelings don't matter. I hate that kind of thinking! I told him I'd find a way for him to be happy and then I ran outta there before things got worse." That was the gist of everything. She would have to be satisfied with that. Cerpin crossed his arms.

"Now can we get back to the other topic? Don't dismiss my feelings."

Doutei

 

[Doutei]

"I see." Tevini replied, her mind absorbing everything. Carefully she organized her thoughts, gears turning as she considered what it meant and what she'd have to do in order to fix things. If Sascha had argued with Cerpin sincerely it meant that he had to care about him for real, right? Any self-respecting military officer would've just captured or worse-killed him at the rebel admission. Perhaps it also meant the yellowblood could be reasoned with if faced with solid arguments to his concerns. The redblood wasn't going to get ahead of herself and assume she could convince Sascha to join the cause... but maybe she could slowly get him to understand what they were doing was important.

And that Cerpin was important.

"Your feelings?" The redblood snapped out of her plans and glanced at Cerpin once more. She frowned at him. The purpleblood had always been childish and impulsive, quick to show affection to many trolls. She'd hated it before, unable to understand the desire. As she'd developed feelings for him, Tevini had struggled with how to handle them. It'd crushed her to learn he'd developed different ones. Now he was desperately in kismet with another troll and lost at how to navigate it- the same way she'd been. Her chest burned along with her eyes as he shoved her into a new place in his heart to make space for Sascha. She couldn't believe that he'd learned to love her in the time they'd spent apart. Why would that have changed?

"I've already accepted them, Cerpin. It seems you're the one who hasn't." The redblood spoke quietly, slow but firm. She couldn't erase the tension in her voice as she trembled.

"I suppose you're right, that friendship's compromised. It's going to take a lot of work to fix what you've done." The redblood turned and started to the door. She had things to unpack after their long stay at the Space Tower and wanted to be alone now so she could properly grieve the relationship she'd missed.

"But it's not impossible. I'll do what I have to in order to bring him back to you." Tevini declared. Opportunities faded and people moved on. Maybe it was her turn. All she could do now was echo Cerpin's words. She'd find a way to make him happy. It was going to be hard but she'd taken on worse.

"Don't dream it's over."

Yamashii