[META PRP] Space (Sascha + Tevini)

[Doutei]

there's something i need to know

 

[Doutei]

Now she understood how intimidating a door could be.

Standing outside a certain lieutenant's quarters, Tevini raised a fist several times- trying to will her body to just knock. It should be so easy and simple, just knock and wait to be let in. But what would she find on the other side of that door? Tevini had only met the man a few times and each one had given her a different impression. She was sure he had plenty of weird ones about her. Taking a breath, she wished she had asked for Cerpin to come along. He breezed through these little hang ups without even thinking of them. He was lucky he didn't have this crippling social anxiety. She chided herself for thinking of it, though. The point of this visit was for Cerpin to not be here. She needed to ask some questions without him.

She raised her fist once more, knocking on Sascha's private quarters.

"Lieutenant, if you have a moment I'd like to speak with you." Tevini tried to speak up, aware her voice was on the quiet side. She said the words she'd practiced all the way here and waited, steeling herself for the conversation to follow.

seekingCylem

 

[seekingCylem]

It took a while for Sascha to answer. He seemed skeptical that anyone would approach him at his quarters. The door slid open and Sascha filled the frame. He was wearing sweatpants and a tank top. The room behind him looked similarly unprofessional.

It was as cluttered as his office would imply, though perhaps a touch homier. Clothes littered the floor, save for the military uniform that hung neatly in the corner. Books and snacks were stacked on top of makeshift furniture constructed out of (full) cardboard boxes. A half-buried radio played a catchy pop tune.

One of the few pieces of real furniture was a wardrobe. It was surrounded by a pile of junk, as though Sascha had taken his arm and wiped everything off its surface. In its place were two terrariums. Both were filled with sand and what looked to be scavenged mechanical pieces. They also each contained a gerbil. One was snuffling around its enclosure. The other was just sitting. Immobile and unblinking. A piece of raw meat sat beside it in a dish.

Sascha leaned in the door. The casual posture was at odds with the stare he was leveling at Tevini. "Wasn't expecting to see you around here." A beat of silence. "Well?"

Doutei

 

[Doutei]

"I, ah... I was hoping to come in and talk with you." Tevini swallowed nervously at the look he was giving her. Sascha did not look happy at being disturbed on his time off and she could understand. A part of her considered apologizing and leaving in order to avoid being a disturbance. Her social anxiety made it hard to not feel like a burden on others in conversation.

But she couldn't. She had a reason for being here. Tevini forced herself to look back into his eyes.

"Privately." She added in an attempt at a firm voice while trying to move in closer to slip inside. Tevini really didn't want to be out in the hall. The small bit she could see of his room inside didn't bother her too much. She'd grown up in a junkyard and thus didn't mind clutter or mess. She preferred for her actual workshop to be more organized these days but was able to work with whatevever environment she had. Setting wise, not people wise. She was still working on that.

"It's about the missions." The redblood continued, trying to find some hook that would grab Sascha's interest and make him willing to entertain the idea of letting her in.

"... and Cerpin."

seekingCylem

 

[seekingCylem]

The aura of suspicion never lifted from Sascha. He did, however, acquiesce to Tevini entering his room. "Pull up a seat wherever," he grumbled. Sascha himself perched on the edge of his recuperacoon. He folded his arms across his chest and propped up one leg against the tub's side.

Sascha continued to stare down Tevini with a serious look on his face. He didn't look particularly angry or apprehensive, just quiet. He waiting until Tevini was mostly situated in the space before urging her on. "About the missions. And Cerpin," he reiterated. "Tell me what I need to know."

Doutei

It feels weird to post without rolling dice.

 

[Doutei]

"I'll start with the missions. I would like to request to join your next mission." Tevini began, trying not to be unnerved by his quiet stillness. The Sascha she had seen interact with Cerpin had been more animated, even if still quiet at times. The tension in this room didn't feel the same at all and she felt like she was underwater from the amount of pressure. She had earned it, though, she knew. One didn't attack someone's booth and expect to become friends from it. Well, at least not one as awkward as her. Cerpin, maybe.

"As you know, I have some psionic abilities. However, I'm not formally trained." The redblood continued on. She caught herself fidgeting with the hem of a shirt she was sitting on and dropped it quickly.

"I want to see a helmsman drive a ship." The redblood looked at Sascha hesitantly. What she really wanted was permission to try and drive one herself but she knew better than to ask for that. She wasn't an official military member, there was no way he could grant her that clearance. Nor would he, she figured. But she still wanted to feel a spaceship move, she wanted to see what it was like.

She wanted to see how a troll was supposed to drive one. Sascha was her best bet. Her only bet, really.

"You're the only helmsman I know." The redblood admitted, figuring if she didn't he'd try to pass her off onto someone else.

"Please?"

seekingCylem

LOL

 

[seekingCylem]

Sascha listened with a surprising amount of patience given his reputation. He waited until Tevini was finished talking before uncrossing his arms. He pulled some hair back over his shoulder. Not once did he take his eyes off of Tevini.

"Really." Sascha intended the statement to be a question, but his stern expression seemed to twist his inflection. His mouth pinched and he tried again. "What's your interest in helmsmanning? I know I'm a performer, but this is a little more than a schoolfeeding expedition."

Sascha leaned in from his place propped up against his recuperacoon. He was interested in Tevini's answer, even if he was being particularly cutting about it. He almost seemed cautious.

Doutei

 

[Doutei]

She couldn't exactly tell him the whole truth. That she was a rebel and needed to learn how to pilot everyone to safety. Tevini had been practicing her powers with the advice Trusci had given her but knew that wasn't going to be enough to drive a ship. She had no idea how to do any of that. But Sascha... he was formally trained and had been given clearance to do so. He was her shot at getting to witness it in person. To see what to expect. After what she'd been told by Cerpin, Tevini felt scared of what might await her.

Maybe she could use that.

"I want to see just how far these powers can be pushed." Tevini admitted, a little unnerved by his eye contact. The yellow blood could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be. She was the first to break and look away, averting her eyes under the pressure. Confidence wasn't her strong suit.

"It's been a dream of mine to go to space. And now I finally have a chance but..." The redblood wasn't sure if she should mention her attempts at building a space ship yet or not. Would it impress Sascha? Or would he find it suspicious and weird? She wasn't sure how much her partner had told him about their efforts, or if he had at all. It was frustrating to not have control over the information out there about herself.

"I heard that these powers can have drawbacks. That they can hurt you. I.. I don't know what it all entails so I thought if I could see it in action- how it interacts wish helmsmanning, I'd know what kind of danger I'll be putting myself in." It was scary to not know- to not have seen for herself what Cerpin had described. Tevini wasn't sure what she felt about Sascha yet but looking at him now... even with this tension between them... she didn't like the image of him getting hurt.

seekingCylem

 

[seekingCylem]

Tevini broke eye contact, but Sascha kept on staring. He knew next to nothing about this redblood. Just what Cerpin would occasionally drop, and even then he was uncharacteristically tight-lipped about his shy friend. She had powers. She built... things. She was paranoid, particularly of Cerpin's involvement with Sascha himself. Red flags abound. It was only Sascha's curiosity and trust in Cerpin not being a complete dingbat that kept him from throwing Tevini right out on her a**.

Sascha did breath out a hum as Tevini spoke of testing her limits. That resonated a little too strongly with Sascha for his liking. He understood little of Tevini, but he understood that. Conversely, her hesitation confused him. She had her opening. The Chittentown Research Center was right there. Why not take the opportunity she'd been presented? She clearly had more of an engineering-based mind than Sascha had going in.

"So you're afraid?" Sascha asked the question simply, but without the accusation or derision it would imply. It wasn't stupid to be afraid of something like this. Gl'bgolyb knew he probably should have felt more trepidation when signing on for this path. His desire to be anything more than a simple lowblood merely outweighed everything else he could have felt at that point in his life.

"If you don't even know that much, you don't have any business being a helmsman. I spent more than a sweep of my life training--living every night of my life at the SRDPSL. Hell, I nearly died there. Twice depending on how you count that bomb threat at the space tower." Sascha tilted his head towards the ceiling as he recounted the memories.

"You should know using your powers past your limits causes all sorts of problems. Headaches. Blurred vision. Vertigo. To say nothing of the nosebleeds, or worse, bleeding from the eyes if you push it too far, glub help you." Sascha rolled his head forwards. "I may not have flown a ship proper, but I've been in more than enough simulations. Being a helsman is less about steering the ship as it is being the ship. The power source, literally, but... The feeling. When you're hooked into the system it feels like... It feels like you. Your power is harnessed throughout the entire machine. This enormous thing. You're in control of everything and nothing all at once. It protects against a lot of the symptoms of burnout by managing the spread of energy you're dishing out, but also it's actively taking power from you. You can't resist, but you can't give in either. It's pretty terrifying, actually." Sascha laughed, but the sound was hollow, and perhaps even unsure of itself. He had never spoken of his student nights to anyone, save for reports to his superiors at the facility and the occasional visit with his lusus. Neither involved much self-reflection beyond what he could do better as a test subject.

Sascha returned his attention to Tevini. His expression was less sharp, but still by no means soft.

"Why me? Why not sign on with the Research Center? The military, even?"

Doutei

 

[Doutei]

They were good questions. Tevini listened quietly as Sascha spoke- chided her for her ignorance. His story was disturbing, she'd read a little about it in books but never received testimony from a real pilot before. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't scared. She didn't want to get hurt. She didn't want to get permanently injured. She didn't want to die. But there were many things she didn't want that she couldn't control. She didn't want to be a lowblood. She didn't want to be forced out from society and yet she had. These things had simply happened and would continue happening to others like her. To waste the opportunity she'd become aware of would be horrible. She didn't want to let them down.

"Because Cerpin saw something in you." Tevini finally replied, answering him. Her words held more meaning than they appeared to, as she remembered what the purpleblood had said. Before he'd been singing praises about his new friend, delighted to have finally met someone who loved the same things as him. She hadn't been there during the times Sascha had and that had clearly meant a lot to her partner. They'd bonded and slowly he had managed to replace her position in Cerpin's heart. It was clear now while Cerpin agonized over the yellowblood that there was something special about this troll. She didn't think it was smart to trust him so quickly, they didn't know much about Sascha's feelings regarding the harder issues. However, Sascha made Cerpin happy (and mad she supposed) and maybe that was enough.

"I'll admit it, I'm an easily frightened troll. I don't trust easy and I'm a coward." Tevini confessed, her tone tense but firm. "Cerpin makes many friends, many who fade away. However, you seem to be a new constant in his life. To me that means something." Many frustrating conflicting things. Sascha's presence spelled out both danger and opportunity to her. His invasion of her closest person was troubling, challenging. He was the first problem that she honestly didn't know how to solve. She knew their relationship was bad and yet she couldn't bring herself to outright forbid Cerpin from seeing him, only to grudgingly discourage him. Cerpin had only ever confided one quad crush to her before- his first black. Her.

Now him.

Sascha represented what she could've been if she'd discovered her powers earlier. If she'd realized Cerpin's feelings earlier. If she'd returned earlier... He had all the things she should've had. She hated it. She hated how effortless he made it seem. How oblivious he appeared to be. How he made her feel.

"He seems to think you're a good guy. I have my misgivings but I'm inclined to agree." She tucked a curl back out of her face, looking forward to his eyes once more.

"You... you didn't have to hear me out tonight. Yet you did." She swallowed.

"You didn't have to warn me just now either. But I appreciate it. You're kinder than you think. I know it's crazy. But I like your honesty." She didn't expect him to trust her in return. She didn't expect him to like her. Tevini knew she was asking a lot. Helping her was a risk, especially for a newly promoted lieutenant. But he was her best shot right now. And while she didn't know if she would regret this later, it was really all she could do. Somehow she'd figure out a way to deal with all of the problems, she just needed a little time to figure things out- to figure him out. The question was if she would get it.

"That's why... you."

seekingCylem

 

[seekingCylem]

Confusion settled on Sascha's face at Tevini's words. "Cerpin saw something in you." Yes, Cerpin was Sascha's sponsor in the entertainment industry. They were friends too, he'd admit. They had plenty in common. Similar tastes, similar hobbies. Their goals weren't even entirely dissimilar, though both heavily colored by their wildly differing upbringings. It was an odd sort of kismet coincidence they'd ended up in each other's lives like they had.

Somehow, Sascha felt that wasn't exactly what Tevini was referring to. Plenty of trolls could sing or dance or fight or use telekinesis. Hell, Tevini was right there. Sascha wasn't sure what he'd done for Cerpin that had caused a third party like Tevini to... trust him didn't seem like the right word.

Sascha's confusion failed to lift.

Tevini explained further. She seemed almost as lost as Sascha on this matter, which brought him some small degree of comfort. He wasn't sure what any of this meant, but it sounded good. Sascha had made a lasting impact on someone's life. It was always his goal, but it was rare to hear affirmation of such.

Sascha rolled his shoulders. He hadn't realized he'd accumulated so much tension there. Tevini's final words caused his shoulders to drop completely. The concentration fell from Sascha's face, broken utterly.

Not once in Sascha's entire life had he been called "good" or "kind." He didn't know what to think of this information, much less do with it, and it showed. His face heated in a similarly unfamiliar way. A hand strayed up to his jaw, where Sascha chewed the end of a fingernail.

"Cerpin really knows how to pick 'em," He muttered into his fingers. "Look..." He said again, louder, as though clearing both his voice and head, "I don't have any control over whether or not the ships I end up on are salvageable. But... You've proven to be an effective subordinate on these missions. You're welcome on any of my upcoming assignments if you're interested in... 'job shadowing,' I guess. The research facility is always looking for more talent. Better you figure out if it's what you wanna pursue sooner rather than a sweep into formal training."

Sascha ran a hand around his head, collecting his hair off of his neck. Jeez, these dormitory rooms ran warm.

"Depending on your performance and interest, I may be able to introduce you to some people," Sascha stared hard at the gerbil terrarium behind Tevini. "I don't know you, but I know Cerpin, and Cerpin's known you a hell of a lot longer than he's known me. With how much energy that guy expends caring about stuff..." Sascha huffed through his nose and broke the staring contest he was holding with the zombie gerbil. "Well, I'm confident you won't disappoint me."

Doutei