[PRP] hearing voices not my own (ollie & nasir)

[azuredreams]

Part of him was worried about reaching out but he did not know who else to talk to. Yet he still thought about the count down he had heard, the vacant look on Oliver's face ... In the end, his concern overruled everything.

He had to check on Oliver, to make sure that he was alright, and maybe - just maybe - he could help him. Nasir just hoped, in the process, Oliver would be able to help him out too. It was why, a bit later, he managed to find Oliver on his own (which took talent to find him on his own because he was usually with Eli or Horace too).

Trying to not be a little jittery, dressed back in regular clothes (though his hands were still tender and the skin looked fresh), he wiggled his hand at Oliver and called out. "Hey, Ollie, you got a moment? Before it's time for us all to crash for tomorrow?"

Tomorrow that hopefully would not be like this one at all.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Oliver looked considerably less vacant, though no less tired and done. He'd stepped out of his room for a moment or so to try and organize his thoughts, but with marginal success. Deep breath in, deep breath out, focus on the things around you, let them happen, and allow them to pass...

Aaaaand it seemed Nasir was happening. And not passing. His eyes creaked open.

"Hey Nasir." He waved his own hand, his nails sharp and manicured in contrast against his bandaged hand. "Maybe. Sure. I dunno..." He yawned, "If it's quick."

Despite the aloof demeanor, Nasir would sense his emotion and hear his thoughts; Is he okay? Something doesn't seem right. Is anything okay? Why me? I'll drag him down...

Oliver blinked.

azuredreams

 

[azuredreams]

"It'll be quick, promise." Nasir opened his mouth to respond, the rest of the words dying on his lips as the feelings and whisper of Oliver's voice were felt and heard despite his demeanor.

"Is-" he started to ask and then shook his head and stopped himself. It was invasive, it wasn't- This was the worst really. "I don't know who else to talk to," he said instead, "but ... something changed after the fight and feeling things? Hearing them too."

Not that he wasn't, already, reaching out for Oliver. It was easy to try and avoid the other's injured hand, his own were sensitive and there would be faint burn scarring from his hands to his forearms. Just help a little, maybe? Everyone needed comfort and Nasir was not that far away from just giving Oliver a hug.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Better off alone. Don't wanna be alone...

Oliver's head snapped to the sight of Nasir's hand as he reached out, the sudden movement obviously commanding his attention, and Nasir would feel the sudden intense wave of—fear?—the pulse of apprehension, the worry, something heavy and dense like dread, Don't hit me—

And then it was gone. And Oliver didn't look any different for it. The emotion had been a reflex it seemed, and nothing more than that. It was obvious with how Oliver considered the offer before grabbing the hand of his own volition. This time Nasir would only feel his exhaustion and surface level frustration. He was very clearly done.

"What... do you mean?" Oliver knew all about random invasive powers cropping up, but that didn't mean he knew the extent of Nasir's abilities, "Be more specific..."

azuredreams

 

[azuredreams]

Nasir was not necessarily prepared for the feelings of one individual to be so focused or the fact that he nearly wanted to pull back himself in fear in response to Oliver's feelings overlaying his own. His fingers curled around Oliver's squeezing lightly.

You're not better off alone, he wanted to say, and you have people who won't let you be alone. Eli and Horace came to mind immediately but the words did not come out. Instead, Nasir focused on trying to ease things for Oliver in whatever way he could. What was a little more on top of everything else?

His fingers squeezed Oliver's again - it was a lifeline - before he glanced around and spoke quietly. "Feelings. I can feel the feelings of others." A glance down towards their hands and then back up at Oliver. "Just by being around them and-" This part made his face heat, mostly because it was so intrusive. "I can hear things too. The person's voice, whispering to me ..."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

There was a swell as Oliver's anxiety came to a head before melting away. Nasir had transferred the emotion to himself, and this seemed to settle Ollie greatly. How does he do that? But he didn't speak. Instead he listened to Nasir as he spoke, his brow scrunching up. "You can... hear things? Like their emotions?"

The emotional transfer still held together by touch, Nasir would sap a little bit of genuinely understanding this time. "It's crowding your head, isn't it? You can't think, you can barely focus, you don't know where to sort things out." He was nodding, almost sagely. "That sounds terrible. I get it."

He waved his hand in the air until a black marker conceptualized itself. "Keep talking." He said as he popped off the lid.

azuredreams

 

[azuredreams]

"Yes," replied Nasir. "It's like ... a whisper? Of their voice? I think it's tied to whatever they're feeling?" Even though his own anxiety spiked, Nasir shifting restlessly on his feet, the switch to understanding and Oliver's calm helped ease it back down.

It made his free hand fall to his side instead of fidgeting.

"It is," his voice grew softer, "just like that. I can't even focus long enough before I'm swept away by someone else and then I hear them and ..." A breath escaped, long and shuddering. "It's like I'm drowning and can't get my head above the water because there's someone on my shoulders."

The talking helped, Nasir not really paying attention to the magic Oliver just did. "I'm so tired, Ollie, but it's not just my tired. It's everyone else's too along with their fear and sadness and- I worry that I shouldn't be hearing these things, let alone feeling them because they're not mine and-" The flood was released it seemed, though Nasir's hand clung to Ollie's as he was - at the moment - a lifeline. The one thing that was keeping him from getting deeper.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Oliver let Nasir ramble on and on and on, the marker drawing shapes in the air as he thought out his course of action (he was listening, totally). After a moment he shushed Nasir, "I know, I get it. When my deathsense populated, it was..." He grimaced, "Overwhelming. I stopped eating for a while because it was so sickening. I couldn't go more than a few moments without something clouding my head; someone steps on a bug outside, Chai catches a gecko. I had to readjust my route so I avoided hospitals. Even in the fight... no one died, but I could feel some people brushing past that edge."

The felt tip of the marker touched Nasir's palm as he started to draw.

"It's still there, but I've learned to experience things in the moment. They don't bother me as much—I don't ignore them, they're still in the back of my head—but I let them happen. I acknowledge them and move on. But I understand the sheer intrusive feeling of it all, being divided in every place at once, and after an emotional tragedy like that..."

Nasir would get a symbol doodled onto his hand, one that Oliver recognized quite well, though it was altered slightly. "A quick lesson, to begin," His lips curled into a tiny, tiny smile as he recited the words, "The circle is for protection. This in the middle is hwaz, the Norse rune for protection. The triangle is a very stable shaped, and three is a strong number in the magical sense. I've connected them with laguz, the symbol for water, but it represents emotions too..."

He trailed off. "Remember your sense of self. I had this passed onto me by my teacher, though mine was a ward for death. Let this one be a ward of containment, to keep other people's emotions out and to keep yours within." He tapped the symbol in Nasir's hand, his eyes wide as it glowed with a faint burgundy color. It wasn't as inconspicuous as Renard's had been; this had a well defined mark against Nasir's skin, but it looked more like a birthmark at a glance, the colors only slightly off. It was by no means as strong either; but maybe it would give Nasir the ability to ignore the whispers unless he really wanted to tune in.

"If you need to take it off, all you need is red ink and one single slash across the mark." Ollie blinked, looking a little tired for it. "How do you feel?"

azuredreams

 

[azuredreams]

Nasir had a spike of anxiety, one all his own but amplified by the evening, at the fact that his own brush with death this evening likely caused Oliver some kind of- Then he was trying to carefully tuck it away, not let it overwhelm him with everything else. He was quiet, latching onto the words that the other spoke and nodding in agreement.

His eyes flicked to the symbol doodled. Nasir mouthed the name of the runes, though they were not spoke aloud. This he could understand, this he could focus, this he could grasp and use to maybe regain himself ...

Nasir was about to speak, to maybe ramble something out, but Oliver was talking about his teacher and tapping the symbol. He shivered as the magic was activated; things did not disappear but it was less screaming and more the hum of a noisy crowd.

"Quiet," he said softly, glancing up from the symbol to Oliver's tired face. "Better too; it's softer. It's all there but it's waiting instead of ... rushing me, demanding my attention." His shoulders slumped in relief, his hand squeezing Oliver's gratefully. "I never thought about using symbols like this or this kind of magic. Thanks, Ollie. You're a mind-saver, you and your teacher both."

... and now Oliver was going to get a tired Nasir hug but it was still a hug all the same because he did not feel overwhelmed by the other's emotions (or anyone else's) and the motivations for it were all his own.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"Good." Oliver sounded warm and genuine for once. "The one I had... it functioned more as a ward, I think. Regardless, it won't take your magic away, but it should stifle it until later." He looked up, just in time to see Nasir moving in for the hug. Rather than struggle, Oliver returned the very, very tired gesture.

"There's probably a way to remove the ability all together, but I doubt you want that." He explained carefully, "Like it was explained to me: it's... what you have is a gift. It's up to you what to make of it. And sometimes... gifts are terrible burdens too, but there might be the one situation where you can really help someone, even save someone, or whatever uniqueness to that situation is—and then it makes having all those hardships worth it. I suppose that's a rather optimistic point of view, but it's not a bad one."

"If you wanted, I could try to pass along my other lessons too. Mr. Leroux was very thorough, and I still have all of my notes. Granted my lessons were a little more suited to my death sense, but you might be able to benefit from the mindfulness exercises. My head is crammed full of bullshit all the time, but I've learned to parse it and move on, even if it is still overwhelming some days."

He gave Nasir a good pat on the back.

"We have a really long day tomorrow." He stated sleepily. As if today wasn't enough...

azuredreams

 

[azuredreams]

"Mister Leroux is the one that taught you? I wouldn't mind that at all, he's ... very informative and nice. I was speaking with him once about magic actually but nothing like this." Nasir genuinely was interested and nodded in understanding about Oliver's head being full of things.

He let go of the other young man after the path, glancing down to his hand once more. "... and you're right, I don't think I want this gone entirely, I just want to be able to have my head above water so to speak." A tired smile was given in turn, Nasir nodding about it being a long day tomorrow. "I was worried I'd not be able to sleep but I think I can now. Thanks for helping, Ollie. You're going to get some rest too, right?"

Just a hint of that worrier coming through because Oliver did look like he was about to fall over asleep but that never meant someone was actually going to.

Melancholies

can ... prob fade this away/wrap it up on my next post? THEN MORE FUN TIMES.

 

[Melancholies]

"Yes. He's a very apt teacher." Oliver nodded diligently. "I want to pursue higher levels of study from him as well, but that's neither here nor there." He waved his hand.

"I'm exhausted, so... yeah. I think I am. It's nice in a way." He looked to his shoes—or rather, he looked to where his shoes should've been, but instead he found his bare feet on the Court floors, toes wiggling—and it made his eyebrows raise. "I mean, I'm often tired, but it's... a mental exhaustion, usually. This is something I feel in the core of my bones, so to speak. It's hard just being upright." He smiled wryly, "So I don't think I'll have any issues once my head hits the pillow, so to speak."

A hand reached out before awkwardly clapping on Nasir's shoulder. Pat pat, "One more day and it'll be over and done with. I'll be seeing you."

azuredreams

 

[azuredreams]

Nasir knew what Ollie meant for a change. Not just a mental exhaustion but one that told him he'd be able to rest and rest deeply because every bit of him was tired and worn down.

"Then how about I walk with you back to your room and I'll head off to my own. I'm not quite to the point where I'm going to fall over." A small pause. "I'm getting there though ..." With another smile, tired but warm, he was stepping close and sliding an arm around Ollie and tugging lightly.

"Lead the way, Ols." That came out a bit like Ahls. Perhaps in not a tired state Nasir would question calling Oliver that but not at the moment. Instead he was intent on helping his friend and then heading towards his own room where he too would find some rest for the day that was coming.

Melancholies

a wrap unless you want to put another post in ~