[PRP] Creature comforts (Shiloh & America)

[lizbot]

"Thing is, cages are all about ******** with freewill. Apparently focusing one around another person is really...really messed up, Shy." She gave him an unhappy little smile, "The fine print that wasn't in that notebook with all the sigil stuff."

America shook her head, "Pretty sure she'd happily make s'mores if they happened to get set on fire. I want her to be able to be ready for when the cage opens and she's got all that power again, but I get worried, like...there's how she's hurt now, but there's also how it might carry forward once she's practically a god."

It'd only been a few months since they saw Sunny, all power and vibrance, exulting over the deaths that had freed her as the pressure increased all around them.

melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Shiloh drooped even more. "I just..." He sighed, exasperated, "I don't know who'd do it. I don't know... I'm thinking of everyone in the void but—" It could be everyone. In the same breath, no one fit his description just right. It didn't make any sense.

"This whole world is really messed up." He sounded rather miserable compared to earlier; hell, compared to a moment ago. The dam holding his emotions back had burst and he was flooded with the sensation of it all. "I keep wondering if we did the right thing and thinking that maybe we can fix stuff but—" He sucked in a breath, "But I don't know. I know we all added our blood to the sigil, but I feel so much more responsible..."

"I haven't actually talked to Sonny in a while." He admitted, "I've been really busy with Court, but... I'll try to figure out who the third is too, I guess." He felt a little bad he hadn't been devoting his resources to it already. "You don't have any idea who it might be, do you? I know for a fact it isn't Jamie or my brother, but," He smiled kinda sadly, helplessly, "That's about it. ******** sucks."

lizbot

 

[lizbot]

"Shun and Jer are trying to sleuth it out, but mostly I can list who i think it absolutely can't be and that's pretty much everybody," America sighed. "Heliodora said we're like pillars, we're responsible for the world now. We're supported by the others, but the weight is..." A small huff of laughter followed. "I'm trying to be careful for the sake of...so much more than myself, now. It feels like..."

Her face scrunched up a bit, a little incredulous at herself, "It feels like I'm suddenly a mom or something. For everyone I come across, like I'm not just responsible for magic in the world, but them as well. I wanna make sure they're doing okay and that they're home before midnight. It's probably worse with court stuff, that's like, being responsible not just for this world but for the Other one, too."

America gave Shiloh a sympathetic look, "You think maybe that's why the first three stayed kinda out of things? Probably easier not to be reminded every time you step outside or talk to a person."

melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Shiloh was messing with the carpet loops underneath him, fingers picking stray strands loose. "I always kinda wondered that, actually. Like, they... they were always locked away in the Otherworld." His fingers meshed against the floor, digging in to the course fluff, "Sometimes I think about doing stuff like that, but it'd be unfair. I have too many people that I care about. Too many that care about me too."

"But it's not something they can really understand either. I've only told..." He squinted as he recalled, "You, Jamie and Mercer. I mean, Jamie was there when I talked to Micheal, but I still would've told him." He shrugged, "But I dunno. It feels too late to try and cover it up, even if I wanted to."

"I mean, I don't like feeling I have a target on my back, but..." He puffed his cheeks out to sulk. "I'm just trying to make the best of it. Mostly it's just the pressure—the pressure, like, coming back and finding out I'm in school and I have a job and now I have to be a principal and there's Court." He sighed. "It's too much. I'm worried I'm gonna ********' snap."

lizbot

 

[lizbot]

"Oh my god, right? America let out an exasperated breath. "I'm suddenly in school and like, I had no idea why that other me would do that, I'm not a fricken school person! But then, like...it was apparently my mom who that other me had made a deal with. My mom died when I was born, Shy."

The girl rolled her eyes, a childish gesture, "And I want so much to be happy about her being here, but part of me is like, oh great, now I gotta learn how to be a daughter on top of learning in school and learning how to be a fricken' pillar for this whole darn world. I was just starting to get magic stuff and being a warg down, and it's like..." her voice softened, "it's like there's so much weight. So many really serious things and so many people have got it bad, but sometimes I wanna be real ******** selfish for a bit. I wanna just ride off to...to...Wyoming and pretend I ain't responsible for more than my gas tank for a bit. Or maybe just a week where it's only one wildfire, and not half a dozen others at once."

And that was so, so selfish, when Sunny was both dead and imprisoned in their cage. When Taym was having to deal with a new world he never got a say in making or a choice in remembering the old one. America's normally perfect posture hunched in. "I don't regret all of it, not really. I just wish that other me was here too, n'she deal with the school and...mom stuff."

The girl seemed to deflate a bit, like she'd been holding a good part of that in for awhile now.

melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Shiloh was silent for a long while as America ranted. "...s**t." He said finally, "That's... that's rough. I dunno what the hell I'd do if my mom suddenly turned up." Not that she had died, but she had left when he was young, and it was basically the same thing to him at this point. "But I get it. Sometimes I wanna really far away, pretend none of this is going on." He sighed, "Get as far away from Court as I can, pretend I don't have ******** of magic dragging me down."

"Mostly I just wish I could've talked to him." He said, "The other me, from here." Shiloh looked up at the wall where a calendar was attached to the wall, certain dates methodically highlighted, others jotted down with notes, "He was doing... really good for himself, y'know? Going to school, doing all this therapy s**t, getting better." He looked to his lap, "All the people that knew him—I feel like they look at me and wonder why the ******** I've taken twenty steps backwards. I feel like I have so much s**t I gotta prove but I—I can't do it. I want to do it but I can't."

He paused for a while. "You think the third principal is thinking about this sort of s**t too? Maybe that's why they're hiding." He exhaled slowly.

lizbot

 

[lizbot]

"You got a lot more on your shoulders than he did," America nodded. "And it sucks if people who don't know that are thinking you're letting them down, but you aren't, okay. You've just got a big set of Priorities. Be nice if there was some sorta therapist in the Other Place, though."

She huffed a little at the thought, and went on, "Maybe they are. But something more's wrong with them. They're part of why the deer triplets are dying, though it seems there's more than just the principal going on with that as well."

America shook her head, "And we still gotta worry about ********' homework."

melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"We both do." He said quietly, "have a bunch of priorities, I mean. A therapist would be nice though, yeah." He laughed, the sound light, the sound still a little dark.

"Y'know though, sometimes it's kinda nice." He shrugged, "Having to worry about school and work and s**t like that. Don't get me wrong, it's stressful as ******** and I hate it," There was that laugh again, "But, sometimes I can forget about the magic s**t for two seconds and feel like a regularly stressed kind of guy, not the regularly stressed with the weight of the world on his shoulders kind of guy, y'know?"

"But I still wish the other me was here to keep doing what he was doing." He nodded to himself. "I'm still glad we can talk about this kinda stuff though. Jamie gets a lot of it, the magic and real-world balancing part, but... y'know. You can come over whenever you want too, if you gotta get away from stuff for a little."

lizbot

 

[lizbot]

"Yeah...can almost go a whole day not thinking about it all when I've got a paper to write," America grimaced a little at that. There was a paper she had to write. It felt like there always would be. "At least the world won't end if I don't pass. I guess that's a relief too, things that are okay to fail at." There was a small moment of realization that dawned across her face. It was a little shocking, to her herself talk about failing like it was some kind of gift.

"Yeah? You're awful sweet for that cranky face you give sometimes," America's eyes crinkled as she smiled gratefully and couldn't help but move in for The Hug.

melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Shiloh pffffbth'd at that, "Oh man, I gave up on the idea that passing your classes meant anything worthwhile in middle school." He focused hard at the end of senior year because he Mr. Watts on his a** about his grades, but also because having a high school diploma meant you could actually get a job and all that sort of fancy s**t.

He didn't shy away from the hug either, but he still tensed for a second despite seeing it Close In. Still; he shrugged it off, relaxed, hugged back. Shiloh was touchy with a handful of people, but he was learning it was okay to branch out to friends. Hell, it was nice even. Hugs were just great. "I'm just livin' proof of the whole 'your face is gonna get stuck that way if you keep doing that' or whatever the hell." He huffed, jokingly, "It's a condition. Plus it keeps people I don't wanna talk to from talkin' to me." It worked soundly in high school and college anyway.

lizbot

 

[lizbot]

She laughed, "Like one of those angry face huskies!" Moving apart, she give him a playful pinch on the cheek and settled into a stretch of time where the shared responsibility made it just a normal piece of the moment instead of something huge and hard to fully grasp. Especially when compared to the hands and feet fish, now THAT GUY was some sorta strange.

melancholies