[prp] this damp grows in my lungs like a plague [alexis/???]

[Daekie]

They've heard it time and time again - think before you leap, Alexis, contemplate your actions - but it feels different, somehow, coming from Kiel. Not only do they trust him, he's probably the only person out of that set who's ever kept them from legitimate death. (Oblivion. Whatever. Essentially the same thing, probably, because it all comes down to the cessation of being, and they're no philosopher.)

"...I know. And I've been -- trying. It doesn't come easy. I'm just worried that...iunno. Maybe one day I'll pause and someone'll get hurt anyways, 'cause I didn't do something." They snort. "Or maybe I'm bullshitting." They want to ask him about the memories that weren't theirs, but - not the time, not the time - but it's a morbid curiosity none the less. Them but not-them - a dead body isn't a person, just something that looks like one.

Ashdown Whaler

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

"It's not so much as a stop and do nothing as it's a moment to know that if you call it, if you want it, the water will answer. You can feel it in the air, can't you? There's a storm coming and the air is heavy with that."

Kiel digs his toes into the dirt more, watching it and then looks to Alexis. "... but you also have to accept that people will get hurt." He flickers then, in that moment, like a static image. Kiel is young once more, younger than them, and there's blood on his face.

It's gone as quickly as they blink their eyes.

Daekie

 

[Daekie]

"...Don't want anyone I care about t'get hurt." It's not a protest. Just a regret. "What happened to you?" Their throat still hurts. But they're getting a little used to it, just sitting and talking, how breath comes sharp through their lungs now - it'll take a long time to get used to. But they have time. They have people who will listen if they ask, and - it's all so stupid, in retrospect, it's so monumentally stupid --

Alexis sniffles, a little, and stubbornly pretends they're not starting to cry. "What'd you see?"

Ashdown Whaler

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

"You have to accept that too," he tells them with a softer voice. At the question of happened to him, what he'd see, he blinks.

"What do you mean?"

Daekie

 

[Daekie]

"I was - gettin' memories, too, in there. Images that weren't mine, that were tellin' me what'd happen. Were those from you?" They swallow. Not crying. Not crying. It's all hitting, the impact, and Alexis has always had the flaw of feeling too much and too strongly. "Who've you seen get hurt that bad, Kiel?" They run their forearm roughly across their face to wipe away tears.

Ashdown Whaler

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

"I- No, not from me but- I pulled them and gave them to you." His voice is quiet and he pulls a handkerchief from his pocket. He leans and wipes their face gently.

"Myself," he says finally, holding out the handkerchief for them to take.

Daekie

 

[Daekie]

"'m sorry," Alexis whispers, and begins to cry in earnest as the floodgates break - big, ugly hiccuping sobs, their shoulders shaking; they hold the handkerchief to their face, trying to breathe steadily, trying to breathe regularly.

"Shouldn't have happened to you."

Ashdown Whaler

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

Kiel shifts almost immediately, his hand immediately reaching for theirs. It doesn't feel quite right, as if Alexis could push through them, but it fades after a moment.

"No waterworks for me, Alexis. It's alright. You're not responsible," the crying almost seems as if they felt like they were to him, "and I'm fine now."

Daekie

 

[Daekie]

Alexis takes his hand - but they don't hold it too tight. Things are fleeting. Magic is strange, and things change and differ, and maybe neither of them should be here and this shouldn't be their fate - but they work with what they've got.

"'m so sorry," they just keep mumbling, over and over, "m-made you -- made you have to do somethin' cause I'm stupid --" They need to get it all out before they'll feel anything close to all right again. Crying isn't bad, and they need to remember that, that it's okay, that they're just like everyone else, it's okay - it's okay - it's okay. They've got nothing to fear.

They're here. He's here. They can - think when the tears stop, and they can breathe, and the angry flush of their face fades from crying.

Ashdown Whaler

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

"It isn't as if-" Kiel sighs softly, his fingers flexing around theirs and squeezing. He shifts instead, next to them until they tears stop and they've stopped.

"I've done plenty of stupid stuff and I claim all of it done because I was stupid. Don't put more weight on your shoulders than you need. You worry about enough as is. But," he says lightly, "you'll notice your tears are simply falling right now."

It was tears but it wasn't as if it was coalescing or doing something else. They were simply falling.

Daekie

 

[Daekie]

Alexis holds his hand back tight, quiet, and just breathes for a bit. They blink, once, twice, to clear their eyes of tears -- but Kiel's observation seems to have helped.

"...I should head back, yeah? Think it's almost sunset, and I've got a curfew I don't feel like breakin', so..." A deep breath. "...am I gonna be able t'see you again, after I go?" They squeeze his hand, their free hand unwinding from the blanket.

Ashdown Whaler

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

"Can't genuinely answer that," Kiel replies with a small smile, "because this place doesn't make sense and it isn't like I don't know ..." The Alexis before him is not the Alexis he has known.

He shakes his head, hat pulled from where he had it tucked away and places it on their head. "Anything is possible here, however, so keep that in mind."

Kiel shifts and stands, as if to move away before he stops. "Ah, before you go ..." He reaches for them once more, fingers tapping against the back of their hand a moment. It is warm, not unlike the feeling of Kiel's sunny mischievous smiles, and then it fades.

A weight settles into Alexis's mind, the memories returned to them but in a soft, gentle way.

"Even if they're not the brightest, your memories are yours."

Daekie

 

[Daekie]

"I'll look for you," Alexis murmurs, "promise," and -- stands, moving to hug him. Their smile is closed-lipped, small, sad - but it's there, at the very least, and it's real.

"Stay safe as you can, alright? I need to head home." Well. They're not sure they can make it home, not all the way, if other ashdown doesn't drop them back out near Nasir's home -- but if it's too late even for that, they can call Jeremiah as a last resort, probably. They're not sure they could run right now, and it was already late when they got here, regardless...it might be the best option.

The hug lingers for a few seconds before they pull away, handing the blanket back to him, moving to go get their jacket and phone.

Ashdown Whaler

 

[Ashdown Whaler]

Kiel nods, smiles and returns the hug. The blanket is taken though it disappears a moment later in his grasp, returned to wherever he had pulled it from.

"Take care of yourself, Alexis," he tells them.

By the time they turn back around from picking their things up, he's gone. The only proof he had been there was where his toes had dug into the sand. There are no foot prints, no markers, and the lake is just as still and quiet as it was before.

Daekie

thanks for playing ~