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 Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:48 pm
I wrote this poem not to long ago. It doesn't have a name yet so if you have any suggestions feel free to tell me. well here goes.
SHEARED HEARTS
She walked through the graveyard
Her pale skin glistening in the moonlight
as she walkes she sees an angel with a black halo
she watches him with such sorrow
as he lies in a pool of blood
he looks at her with empty eyes
mascara and eyeliner stream down her cheeks
as she realizes her one true love is dying
she hold the angel as he fades into the darkness forever
please tell me what you think i'd really like to know
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Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:17 pm
Awesome. Free verse poetry is the best.
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Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:18 pm
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Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:06 pm
I like it. It ended so soon, I was so sad! ^^' (in a good way)
It sounds like it has a definite story behind it...
I really like it, does the angel symbolize anything?
Thankees for commenting on my poem!
Feel less depressed about your angel dying! *huggles*
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Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:32 pm
it kicked but and at the same time got the point across.
I think you should name it sheared heart or something like that
but i loved it and u should continue writing that way
and even try writing longer stories that involve the same base line
but gets the point across even more
im not tryin to tell u what to do these are just suggestions
ok well continue the good work ok have fun
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Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 6:09 pm
thanks it really helps with my writing.
and the angel symbolizes a guy i loved.
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Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 6:31 pm
I really love your style heart . This is an awesome poem, and I think you should try to consider writing longer pieces, as I am sure they would enable you to express more emotions and just the fact that I like reading your poetry xd . Of course, short poems can often be just as effective and thought-provoking...
Perhaps one of the things that I like most about your poem is that you really put everything into it, making the items/characters symbolize people and things in your life. Because of that, it is a very personal poem, and the readers still understand your point.
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Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 8:27 pm
good one so romantic (from romanticism, literature term XIX)
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Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 7:56 pm
well i like writing poems. i'm glad all of you like it. i guess i do relate the characters to the people around me. wow
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