{FIN} What Once was Lost, Now is Found {Jendara & Lorilie}

[Regal Renegade]

"What Once was Lost, Now is Found" - RP
Characters: Jendara & Lorilie
Players: Regal Renegade
Wordcounts:
→ Regal Renegade || 5,248 | 3 Complete RP's |
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5,248 words total

 

[Regal Renegade]

Lorilie was tired; tired of the way others stared at her and then promptly attempted to avoid eye contact, tired of the little whispers that followed her as her markings were discussed in relation to her morality or possible lack thereof, but most of all she was tired of feeling like an outsider. She knew the gloomy way she carried herself only damaged her situation further, but whenever she imagined having a conversation with another she always saw it going terribly wrong. Perhaps they would ask her about her hobbies of which she had none, or maybe comment on her creepy markings which would only serve to upset her further. Her treatment as an interloper was not entirely a result of her outward appearance; she would give them that at least. She suspected a good deal resided in the fact that she was simply awkward when speaking to another. She had absolutely no experience in the art of socializing which made her a terrible companion. Still, she wished someone would try.

Words never came easily to her and much of the humor that others seemed to enjoy eluded her, but that did not mean that she did not enjoy hearing a voice other than her own. A large sigh rose in her chest and soon pushed its way out through her mouth in the semblance of a low groan as she walked dejectedly across the Overworld. Day after day she would walk, always remaining in the lands of her Tribe but never really going anywhere. She kept herself company mostly, but would occasionally stop to attempt and share a conversation with some poor woodland creature that would flee at the very sight of a predator. Poor pitiful Lorilie, forever alone and with no direction in the world.

Most days her heart felt so heavy that it was bound to drop right out of her chest. A shriveled little thing that would quiver at the mere sight of another. It would not trust or be merry for fear of disappointment. Perhaps though, she was just as biased toward others as they were toward her. She was always wanting for someone to save her, for someone to come along and lift her worries from her shoulders, but she did nothing to help realize this goal. She was a walking contradiction. She craved companionship yet pushed it away whenever even a glimmer presented itself.

With a hollow laugh that echoed out into the emptiness she continued on her pointless journey until the sounds of a rather deafening ruckus sounded from up ahead.

 

[Regal Renegade]

Frustrating was the word that continually ran through the nantlil’s thoughts in relation to her current task. All she had wanted to do was etch some more shelving into the rocky walls of her recently discovered home. The cave itself was bigger than ever, but it did not have much in the way of storage which is what she desperately needed. She already felt bad gathering up all of the bones she had stockpiled and tossing them unceremoniously into their future home; she couldn’t imagine having to continuously do so just because she couldn’t manage to put a few dents into a wall. Was she an Earth B’alam or wasn’t she? At this moment it seemed that the latter was the answer.

With an indignant grunt she took once more to attempting to claw at the rock, which had been working up to a certain point. The top layer was relatively easy for her to pull away, but underneath the stone was hard and unyielding. Eventually she ended up looking really rather foolish as she began to frantically claw at the wall, unleashing a war cry as she did so in order to get herself amped up. “Come ooooon…” She growled as she continued her futile scratching. Eventually her limbs became too fatigued to continue and she was forced once more to admit defeat. “Oh for the love of-“ She cut herself off as another wave of frustration wracked her body.

With a mild roar she picked up a mid-sized rock in her jaw and, without thinking, tossed it angrily against the wall. To her surprise it was not the wall that smashed but the rock she threw instead. Like a tiny explosion the rock shattered sending bits of rubble flying in every direction. A few pieces even rebounding and biting into her flesh like fleas. “Rrrrgh!” She cried before swatting a few more rocks at the wall with her paws. Counterproductive indeed, but therapeutic as well. “Why won’t you cooperate?!” She yelled before stomping out of the cave in order to center herself.

Once outside she dramatically plopped on the ground and began mumbling random curse words to herself while tilling the soil with her claws. She knew that building the perfect place for her bones would not be easy, but she did not expect it to be nearly impossible either. What was she missing? Surely there was some ability granted to her that she was unaware of? After a moment of brooding she brought herself to all fours and turned to step back into her cave when something bright caught her attention.

Standing not too far off was another nantlil, staring at her as though she were some foreign creature. All at once Jendara began to feel self-conscious as her experience with Haru came echoing back through her mind. Her embarrassment was soon replaced with fear, what if this female found out about her bones and tried to break them? She didn’t know what to do, she wasn’t a fighter but she wouldn’t let her bones be harmed. She would not lose another one. “What do you want?!” She yelled at the other with more severity than she intended. She began to feel even worse upon realizing who she sounded like, Haru. Her gaze climbed to the heavens above as she sought guidance from the presence she so treasured, and before long she received an answer. “I am sorry, truly. I should not have shouted at you like that.”

 

[Regal Renegade]

In that moment Lorilie did not know whether to flee or remain frozen in place. The nantlil’s tone had caused her to visibly flinch and, for some odd reason, had struck a chord within her. All at once she felt afraid of this other but also sympathized with her. There had been times when Lorilie had wanted to shout at others, to give them her nastiest snarl so they would quit gawking. She had never gotten to that point of course, but she found herself understanding none the less. Her gaze slipped to her feet as she remained a captive of the moment.

As she wracked her brain to find a solution to her dilemma a different sound reached her ears, one that was remorseful and sorrowful even. Lorilie’s eyes trailed slowly upward until the nantlil came into view. She did not look her in the eye nor stop to gaze at her face but rather focused on the strange jewelry hanging around her neck. This sudden apology disconcerted her more than the initial outburst for she was not yet socially equipped enough to determine whether it was sincere or not. Was the other open for conversation or did she still want to be left alone?

Old mannerisms resurfaced and Lorilie began to turn away from the confusing nantlil, but something caused her to stop. She began to realize why this one was so different from the others; it was because Lorilie could see herself reflected in the hurt and hesitation behind that regretful voice. She wanted to be a part of something, to have a family or at least a network of friends to rely upon but she lacked the social graces or thick skin required for such an endeavor. She was an outcast and, judging by the state of the loner before her, so was she.

“It’s fine…” She heard her voice breathe out before she could even think to stop it. The sound of her heart thundering in her chest drowned out any potential misgivings she may have concerning reaching out to someone and, to her shock, she found herself peering into two turquoise hued eyes. At this realization she quickly lowered her head and pretended to be interested in a pebble situated in front of her paws. She had never been bold enough to look another in the eye; that was a move for the truly comfortable and courageous. This nantlil was different though, she was not as scary. These two were bonded, Lorilie could sense that.

She wrestled over what to do next. What did two socializing individuals normally do? Should she ask about the weather? Grouch at her for being so rude? Should she approach her or keep her distance? There were so many rules and regulations that she hardly knew how to survive in a world where she was not the only one around. She scrambled over a process and eventually found herself thinking back to the frantic behavior the nantlil had demonstrated before she had noticed her.

There had been banging and crashing and all kinds of noises coming from within that cave. She remembered finding it odd, in fact, that was what had drawn her here to begin with. What exactly had she been doing in there, and why had she come out so flustered? Lorilie’s tail flicked as the path she had been fumbling to find finally began to come into view. She had found something she could talk to the other about, and she desperately wanted to talk to her. “Why were you being so noisy?” She managed stiffly.

The execution had left much to be desired, but she had gotten farther with this nantlil than any other B’alam she had ever come across. Normally she would escape if they even dared to open their mouths, but this time she was standing her ground. This time she felt comfortable for the first time since she could remember. A little warmth sparked within her chest as though something or someone was telling her she was doing the right thing; this gave her courage to do what came next. She needed to close the distance between them. She felt drawn to this kindred spirit and somehow felt the family she had been so desperately wanting could be found right before her eyes.

 

[Regal Renegade]

Jendara watched with a heavy heart as the nantlil she had shouted at seemingly processed the situation. If only she hadn’t allowed her frustrations to overwhelm her she never would have hurt the masked one’s feelings in such a way. She had also allowed her protective instinct toward her precious bones attribute to her poor attitude. She fought back a forlorn sigh as she stared up at the other; sure that she would turn her back and never again look over her shoulder. It was what Jendara deserved after all.

But as she watched in agony as the other wavered in her thoughts she was reminded of her talk with Haru. She had believed him to be a kind individual with good intentions, but he ended up being narrow minded and cruel. Could the same be true of this stranger? Jendara was starved for the contact and company of others, but she was still quite wary of others. She just knew she wouldn’t be able to endure something like that ever again. Her heart wouldn’t be able to take being called weird or monstrous one more time. It had already taken her a month to stop shying away from any who even looked her way.

Even so she was not entirely alone for the voices within the bones would often sing to her at night and set her mind at ease. She noticed that when she became fearful or depressed the songs would get a little louder as though they were reaching out to console her in her hour of need. Bones were so much simpler to deal with than other B’alam, that was for sure. But they were also not truly friends either.

She felt resigned to her punishment as the odd stranger began to turn away, and yet torn about how to view it. In one way she was relieved because her bones were safe and she would not have to risk being hurt again, but she could not deny the wish for company whispering in her thoughts. Nonetheless, as the other appeared to be leaving there was no reason to agonize over it any longer. The bones were calling to her, upset by their being piled into a mess and left to fend for themselves.

If she had begun to walk away any sooner she would have missed the others quieted movement and thus would have likely ended the meeting there but, as if by fate, she caught the stop out of the corner of her eye. As she slowly turned once more to observe the other she found herself being addressed and couldn’t help but to smile. She was still frightened of being made to feel like an outcast again, but the guidance she always sought seemed to speak to her again. It told her to give this a go, to try just one more time in order to see what would happen.

“I was…” She started but quickly cut herself off. Perhaps it would be best to leave the bones out of this for now, last time that was what had caused all of the problems to begin with. The death of that poor bone’s song haunted her still and she knew she wanted to prevent that from ever occurring again. As such, she would be extra cautious this time around. “I was attempting to make this cave more homey, but I was struggling to do so.” She finished rather matter of factly. She wasn’t being welcoming but she also wasn’t being overly abrasive either, she had decided to toe the line to see what would happen.

“I have items I would like to store off of the ground,” she sighed, “but the rock in the walls has become too hard for me to continue hollowing out.” She felt odd but at the same time grounded. The other was approaching her now something, she got the impression, was relatively big for this particular nantlil. As she drew closer Jendara’s eyes widened and she immediately found herself gazing at the phantomlike markings of bones reaching up the stranger’s legs. Surely that had to mean something?

Perhaps it was fate that this stranger had appeared before her? Surely someone with bones as markings upon their very pelt was meant to help in her quest to tell the story of the bones? She felt herself becoming excited and quietly scolded herself for doing so; she also knew it to be rude to stare and so looked away for a moment. She was becoming more hesitantly optimistic by the moment, something she hadn’t felt since her awakening. Never before had she dreamed of sharing this with another and even though she was beginning to feel like that was the road before her she continued to keep the bones a secret.

“My claws are not tough enough you see,” she grumped, “and so I find myself stuck with nowhere to turn.” Her mind ventured away from secrecy and fear and returned to the question of how she would accomplish what she needed to in order to finally settle in. It had already taken her long enough to find a cave that fit her requirements, so she could not abandon her project now. Looking over her shoulder she glared at the maw of the cavern with unbridled contempt. She still believed she had found the perfect place to fulfill her purpose but the obstacles were certainly helping to sour the moment. “Maker help me..” She sighed mournfully, for a moment forgetting about the nantlil standing before her.

“So you see, I did not mean to yell at you. My frustrations just…boiled over and I truly regret allowing that to happen.” Her head drooped as her second apology entered the atmosphere around them. She knew the reasons behind her actions did not serve as an excuse, but she felt she needed to make them known regardless. She had somewhat been forgiven once but she hoped for something a bit more formal this time around so that she may fully relieve her conscience.

 

[Regal Renegade]

Uncertainty began to cloud Lorilie’s intentions as she witnessed the other staring briefly at the markings on her legs. The feelings of discomfort that she had managed to choke down until this point began to resurface in a rather large wave of nausea. She thought once more about turning tail and leaving all of this behind her, but just as she was mulling over that thought the nantlil looked away without saying a word or making an offensive face. Actually, if Lorilie’s poor judgment was correct for once, she had appeared to have been almost admiring the morbid marks placed upon her body.

She was able to remove her attentions from that topic in lue of the one presented to her by the stranger’s words. She was attempting to make a cave more homey by clawing at the rock? Lorilie had no idea what that meant and could have laughed at the fact that she was beginning to believe the nantlil standing in front of her could possibly be the strangest of the two. Still, she had never had a place to call her own so it was hard to determine what was odd or what was commonplace in a situation like this. She could, however, take a moment to admit to herself how funny it was that an earth B’alam like herself was at war with rock.

Her gaze followed the other’s toward the opening of the cave and, though she could not see much, she felt something in her breast akin to fondness for the place. It wasn’t anything outwardly special or magical, but there was something about it that seemed to call to her. “Perhaps you shouldn’t use your claws then.” Lorilie added mechanically. Again her words were failing her and she was beginning to look rather foolish. Why must it be so difficult to communicate?

As she sorted through her words and thoughts on the matter the soft voice that had prompted her to stay once again reached her. She was apologizing again? Surely twice must mean that they are sincere right? Who would go through all of the trouble of saying such words twice just so that they may act on nefarious intentions? Lorilie addressed the other with a wary eye, looking her from top to bottom and then once more looking her in the eye. She was getting rather good at this! “I understand, please, it is okay.” She did not know if that response was appropriate or not but she felt as though it needed to be said.

Visibly she shrugged off the tension being caused by this conversation and took a few steps toward the cave. At least thinking about this would make her feel a little less awkward. She was good at thinking it was, after all, how she spent most of her days. When one is alone as long as she had been, one discovers they have nothing to do but formulate opinions and sort through their mind. Though this time she did not stop to think about whether the nantlil would want her approaching her cave or not and just acted instead.

As she drew nearer she noted small dents in the walls that had been hollowed out into shallow cubbies and found herself feeling a tad impressed over the ingenuity. She had spent the night in many abandoned caves before, but she had never seen anything like this. It was obvious that the stranger put a lot of stock into this place and wanted it to be just right for her to be able to live in.

An emotion she was all too familiar with began to rear its ugly head at the thought of a permanent home. Often she just envied others for having someone to talk to, but this time she felt even more so about having a permanent place to call home. She had tried to settle before but nothing seemed to feel right, and that was why she was caught in and endless loop of wandering and finding temporary shelters to weather a storm or hide from prying eyes. It didn’t help that being in once place alone forever didn’t make settling down any more appetizing.

In order to take her mind off of such negativity she began scouring the ground around them until she found what she was looking for. A rock that was white with black speckles had her wandering over to it and batting at it with her paws. She didn’t know how she knew that rock was very strong, or how she had even been called to it but she didn’t stop to overanalyze the situation. She swatted at it until it came between her and the nantlil. “I think this is a strong rock, maybe it can be used?”

She had no idea what she was talking about or what was driving her to make such snap decisions, but she wasn’t totally averse to the idea. She felt she owed something to the stranger because she did not grimace at her or comment on how morbid she looked. Compared to her the B’alam she was now talking with was a great beauty. Despite that though, she hadn’t said anything mean or patronizing and that made Lorilie feel happy. It had been a long time since she had felt anything like this and though she was enjoying it, she also felt that it could be taken away at any moment.

She felt trapped yet free, which made things even more confusing than they already were. Once more jumping to actions to keep from overthinking everything she focused her mind on that rock and that rock alone. Eventually a new idea popped into her head and she walked away for a moment in order to retrieve a small, sturdy branch. “How can I attach this to that?” She asked no one in particular. Perhaps making it longer would make it easier to swing and also give it a little more force upon impact. But that was all just a guess.


 

[Regal Renegade]

The relief that washed over Jendara as a result of the nantlil accepting her apology was indescribable. It was funny because, though the apology had not been directed at her, she felt as though it were healing old wounds from the past. As though apologizing for acting like Haru somehow made her feel as though he were apologizing. It was as though a large stone had been shifted from her heart and she felt all at once more at peace with her existence and purpose. And it was all thanks to the stranger she had only met today.

Even when the nantlil ventured toward the cave she didn’t feel as defensive as before. Sure she would still protect the bones if it came down to that, but she somehow felt as though she could trust the one standing there leering at her messy work. She knew her claws weren’t the answer and sighed audibly at being told she should not use them. But what choice did she have? She honestly couldn’t think of any other way to complete the task at hand.

That was until the stranger began poking around and came back with a rock and stick. She hadn’t ever seen this rock before and was on the verge of asking how the stranger had come to know about it but was silenced by a feeling in her gut that told her it was correct. Even so, she had no idea how to go about attaching it, and had no clue where the intriguing nantlil intended to go with this plan. “I may have something in the cave…” She murmured. As she walked toward the entrance she went through her list of belongings in her mind and attempted to shove aside the feelings of doubt that were plaguing her thoughts.

At first she honestly couldn’t think of anything that she had collected that would lash that stone to that stick. “Why do we need to do that anyway?” She questioned to herself silently. She couldn’t see how that would really help things at the moment, but she had decided to trust the other and so she must do her best. After scratching around for a moment she came across what looked to be a wilted strand of willow bark. She had remembered picking it up because she thought it could be useful for something, it turned out she may have been correct. Collecting it in her mouth and wincing at the bitter taste she stepped on the other end with her paw and began tugging on it. As it remained in shape she nodded and began to head toward the exit to present her findings.

However everything changed suddenly as she began to walk past the opening to the bone room. Everything was quiet, something that didn’t normally happen. She paused a moment and perked her ears to hear the softest of sounds calling out to her. Descending the dark corridor she stopped before the dimly lit room filled with piles of bones. Someone was singing and judging by the silence of the others they wished to be heard. Quickly she began to sift through the piles until she came to a very small bone possibly from a small rodent. Pulling it out she listened to it sing of pleasant strangers and laurels made of lilies. It continually repeated that phrase over and over; laurels and lilies.

She did not know the significance of the phrase but somehow felt its weight resting upon her shoulders. This bone was weaving a story, something that was perhaps pertinent to what was occurring in her life just like the first bone she had ever carved. Cocking her head she hesitantly walked away, deciding not to take the bone from the safety of the den before she truly felt it was safe. She still did not know how the nantlil would react to the strange notion of bones singing and telling tales.

Once back outside she laid the willow bark at the other’s feet and looked up at her with an eyebrow quirked. “Will this do?” She observed the rock and the stick quietly for a moment and a realization popped into her head. This nantlil was quite intelligent! How had she not seen it before? She was making some kind of tool that would make it simpler to knock holes in the wall. She looked up at the other with a grin. “What is your name?” This nantlil continued to get more and more intriguing by the moment and she suddenly felt that she could learn a lot from this one. And perhaps vice a versa as well.


 

[Regal Renegade]

As her companion disappeared into the cave Lorilie began to take in the sights of the location in which she now stood. The world was a beautiful green hue and the grass beneath her feet smelled fresh and sweet. She had seen places like this before and had even taking to soaking up a little sun in areas like this, but she never stayed long. Actually, she was a bit surprised that someone else didn’t already have a claim on this land. The stranger had gotten quite lucky with her findings. Even the birdsong seemed more cheerful around here, but that could have simply been her imagination.

Snapping herself back from such thinking before she began to feel jealousy again she began to whittle on the branch with her claws until there was a nice dip that perfectly fitted the rock she had collected. She had no idea whether this would work or not, but it wasn’t as though she had something better to do. She paused a moment as she began to wonder why exactly she was helping a stranger that she knew nothing about. Shaking her head she grinned a very small grin; because they were alike of course. That was reason enough in her mind. Both of them were awkward and unsure in the company of one another which was strangely comforting.

Finally the other emerged and laid a dried string of something at her feet. She looked it over a moment before nodding and lowering her body to the ground so she may get to work figuring out how to tie one to the other. Taking the stick in between her teeth and angling it slightly upward she set the rock in the notch she had carved and began clumsily attempting to wrap the chord around the two in a way that it would hold them together but not get battered when they used it on the cave wall. She grew slightly frustrated as the rock kept falling off or the chord would just slip away. Maybe this wouldn’t work.

“Lorilie.” She responded absentmindedly, still attempting to wrestle with the components of her tool. She did not even think to stop and realize that this was the first time she had given her name to anyone, ever. She was far too busy trying to build something that seemed impossible to build, just like her happiness.


 

[Regal Renegade]

Jendara watched as the nantlil struggled time and time again to get the rock to stay in place. It seemed that the idea may not have been such a good one to begin with. Her shoulders drooped ever so slightly at the thought of going right back to where she was, unable to do a darn thing. Lowering herself down on her haunches she sat and began attempting to think of how she would do this all by herself. She was sure the other would eventually tire of this game and go back from whence she came. But then she said her name and a chill jolted up Jendara’s spine.

Laurels and lilies…Lorilie. Surely the bone was not foretelling the arrival of this B’alam in her life, they did not do that. But it was odd how things had lined up to where it seemed the bone was singing about this stranger in particular. She stared at the other for a moment, surprised by her realization. Had she really come across someone she was meant to be with? A friend? Could it be that the bones would share their stories with more than one scribe? The idea caused a warmth to bubble up within her breast and before she could think she was using her paw to steady the rock, and the other to help with the chord. Her balance was a bit silly, but as long as she could help she felt as though it was the right thing to do. “I am Jendara.” She said, allowing the happiness she was feeling within seep into her words.

And as she sat there, helping the other fashion a tool that would complete the cave that they would likely both inhabit she hummed. “Let me tell you a story Lorilie.” And in the back of her mind she heard that small bone singing of things that had once been lost being found at last.



 

[Regal Renegade]

THE END