[PRP] Strange Magic (Tamiya x Guouli)

[Sypon]

Guouli hears tale of a strange purpleblood near the beach. The gossip does not disappoint.

 

[Sypon]

It was kite-flying weather tonight; the evening mist had just floated out to sea and in Civisect City there was plenty of buzz from tourists wandering onto the beach. It was the perfect weather for late-season fun, and there was a great necessity for a splash in the ocean for those trolls that dared to take a dip. But far, far down the beach it was a different story.

The northmost point of Civisect City, past the newly built Lighthouse and outside of the forest edge lead to an isolated hive. Its character – and that of its owner – preceded it. Tamiya Aiguma, the coastal juggalo, had gained a reputation. Amongst the whispers and gossip surfaced some bizarre tales. Some, of course, were mere whimsy, while others seemed to cruel to be true. That she was a mass murderer – no, that she lured children to her hive to conduct strange juggalo rituals on them. She was a wildwoman, screaming slam poetry at all hours of night and day and retreating from the city when the breeze turned north! Some even said the was Alternia’s mortician, conducting strange and horrific corpse party rituals complete with hats, streamers and a great deal of balloons. The gossip had gone so far that occasionally, one whispered that you might see an actual terror at her doorstep: a corpse box, or worse an uncovered body. No one had proven such talk, of course. It was merely conjecture.

But tonight, the winds were blowing and the moons were at a particularly unique angle. It was the perfect condition for Tamiya to conduct a sacramental ceremony. A lone, black box stood like a monolith on the beach. It was a mirror image of her symbol in shape. The material was driftwood, carefully sawed, carved and painted, with a long rope attached and wrapped around its base. Its rough surface made the entire appearance matte – an opaque silhouette against the bright Alternian night sky. The purpleblood stood next to her creation, kneeling on the ground motionless. A huge cooler laid in the sand nearby. Six identical sabers laid at her side.

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

Guouli might have missed Bloodfest, but the boardwalk had enough going on that there was stuff to keep his attention. Some vendors sold all sorts of food deep-fried. A challenge worth taking! There were ocean-side arcades. Some trolls liked the tourist-y knick knacks and taking pictures and junk, but he was here for the food and the entertainment.

At least at first.

As Guo wandered around, looking for the next big wonder if the new city, he started overhearing conversations. Most were dull, normal stuff, but occasional there was a good rumor. About the same thing, no less. Some juggalo lived out beyond tourist limits, apparently up to some weird s**t night after night.

This kind of information fascinated the blueblood. It could all be bullshit, true, but he wasn't against wandering out where he probably shouldn't just to see. Worst case scenario, he'd be disappointed and move on with his life. But if not...

Resolute, he ventured out with an apprehensive Hogdad. Juggalos were bad news, much less a purpleblooded one. But Guo was only intrigued further by it. Wandering across the sand in his socks and sandals, he eventually came upon a spooky scenario indeed. Too bad he didn't have a camera to capture these shenanigans. Having no respect or wariness for what was going on, he walked right on up to the scene, surveying every detail. He wondered if there was anything good in the cooler. Or if it was full of dead bodies or something.  

[Sypon]

“Are you here to assist me, slimecrusted swinechild?” Tamiya’s eyes were wide open, and bright red. She rose from the ground, unfolding as her silhouette cast a dark shadow across the newcomer. Tamiya flicked her wrist and tapped some of the tobacco from her pipe. “Or are you here to destroy my ******** sacraments?”

Her question was a warning. She twirled her small pipe and placed it into the large pocket of her work hakama. Tamiya was dressed in a thickly patterned black top. Her make-up was elaborate today, serving to enhance her emotions. Every way her head turned looked as though her expression changed; it was entrancing. Tamiya stalked in a line in front of her obelisk, between it and Guouli. She lingered over her pile of swords. Careful.  

[Gl!tch~]

This was. ********. Incredible. He might as well have stumbled upon one of his spooky games, one of the ones that relied more on making a troll feel unsettled than just tossing gore and jump scares everywhere. The downside to those games was that the right move was to run from the dangerous weirdness and never look back.

Guouli didn't plan on being that kind of wimp. He put his hands on his hips. "Pfft, why would I wreck your stuff? This is a neat gig you've got going on here. Whatever it is." Sacraments or something. Whatever that meant. He was smiling at the 'swinechild' comment. It was pretty apt. He liked it. "Whaddaya need help with?" He was hoping she'd say she needed a child sacrifice so he could laugh before getting the hell out of there if he absolutely had to. It would make too much sense considering the nonsense, and would be sooo ridiculous he wouldn't even know how to take it seriously. But he was prepared, anyway.  

[Sypon]

Tamiya sneered. "It is in the nature of all slurry-birthed trolls to destroy that which has been built, and those lives that are ripped to glorious wriggling day ribbons are my responsibility. Whether destroyed by the trumpetsuckling depraved or this lonesome taintworld we call home."

She stooped down to pick up a sword and spun it around her palm before clutching it tightly. "You may assist by following my direct ******** orders and not straying farther than the distance from which you are currently dangerousnastily tethered."

Two paces forward and Tamiya's long legs brought her up to the smaller troll's location. She slashed at the sand with the sword. Her brow twitched in warning. "Now. Your first task is to fetch us two of the most holy of ******** snapmetal beverages, from my cellar. I will know if you have stolen from my goddamn stores and you will be soundly, slickly, and puppetmurderingly culled for it."

Tamiya turned on her heel, spraying a wave of sand upwards at Guouli's feet. She pointed with her blade towards her home. "The entrance is on the North Side." She declared. Tamiya narrowed her eyes to watch the blueblood leave. If he wasn't back in 5 minutes, she would lock him in. The investigation of his intent and potential cleansing simply could not interrupt this most important ritual.

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

Well, that was certainly poetic. Kudos to her on that. He was kind of...impressed? Hogdad wanted him to be afraid, but that would be so base. He wasn't full of deference. This wasn't a low-high dynamic. Yeesh, no.

And watching this purpleblood try to be threatening was pretty hilarious, because pfft, trying to scare him sure was cute! But, he had to admit, she was so graceful about it. Dang. So, believe it or not, he was feeling himself get roped into this nonsense. Cool. It's not like he had anything better to do anyhow.

Too bad he had a hard time comprehending her language. How could mixing cusswords and purple prose be such a confusing combination? But he shrugged and rolled with it. Even though, well, she was probably going to murder him.

She was making him go to her house. Well, by it, really. It would be bonkers to follow the order to go into someone's basement. Especially some juggalo with a clusterload of rumors about how she was something to avoid.

This was totally a trap of some kind. Officially. He could just walk away and have a little story to share. It would be easy. But if he did as she asked anyhow, he might have something even cooler later.

If life wasn't a horror game. That was still yet to be seen.
Guo knew better, he really did, but he couldn't help himself. This was too fascinating to pass up. Hogdad, meanwhile, didn't seem to get it. The spiky pig seemed relieved that Guouli was taking direction for once as the child wandered towards the North Side of the hive in the distance.

Sypon

 

[Sypon]

The blueblood and his lusus seemed to be receptive to her orders, which was good. Tamiya watched them go with a cocked eyebrow as they made their way behind her hive. If they didn’t return, well – all was well. She looked down at the slash mark she had made in the ground. Yes, this would mark an appropriate distance for the boy. She would assist him (if he was, indeed an idiot like some other blueblooded boys she had encountered) in her previous directions. Tamiya dragged the sword threw her original mark and began to stalk around her odd monument. She rounded the corner, and then the next, and soon Tamiya had made a clean circle on the beach. An excellent marking that she had practiced so many times in her rock garden. This would do well to keep the child out. She nodded grimly and returned to her work, popping open the back panel to the obelisk and peering inside.

-

Meanwhile, the entrance to Tamiya’s cellar creaked open with a quiet groan. Every move made in the cellar seemed to produce no sound. The stairs were clean and new, the walls almost sterile with their coat of sheer white paint. There was very little light cast in the tight space, and the narrow staircase was made narrower by simple crates lining one side of the steps. But, the space was surprisingly deep. The ceiling, structured with many beams and making up a sort of peculiar catwalk, seemed to disappear into the darkness upon descent. Its presence was replaced by low hanging lights that cast cool fluorescence onto every surface. They were all in good working order and served their kind purpose in leading the way through Tamiya’s clean cellar. The only remains of her old hive that persisted were the dark silhouettes of masks hanging just out of sight. They tilted and twirled gently. When the door to the cellar was opened, the faint clacking of their wooden surfaces could be heard – the fluttering of their hair witnessed like an undersea garden. But now, they were silent and quietly observing.

Tamiya’s cellar was vast and incredibly cold. A series of screens cut off the back half of her cellar. They were translucent; a faint warm glow could be seen on the opposite side. The path seemed to be deliberately cut-off. Just before the screen a huge work-table stood with a cloth neatly folded on its surface. A large white fox suit was folded up on the bottom shelf. Nearby, there were a number of refrigerators and freezers sat with their handles padlocked. Dated sticky notes were adhered in neat, even rows to their surfaces in Tamiya’s elegant scrawl. But, standing most impressive and prominent amongst Tamiya’s belongings was an immense collection of Faygo bottles. They were lined up on sophisticated and numerous racks, sorted by date, flavor and color and were even underlit by pressure-sensitive panels hidden in the floor upon walking past. As each bottle lit up, the room’s white interior began to illuminate. Spotlights and splashes of the artificial beverage bloomed until soon, the entire cellar was awash in a deep stain of rainbow light.

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

Upon opening the basement, Guouli was admittedly kind of disappointed. The cellar was well-lit, annoyingly white and clean...where was the whimsy? The quirks? The hints that this lady was off her rocker? Guouli meandered down the stairs. Hogdad noted some weird shadows, the pig not sure what was making them. Guo just waved it off. "Cheap effects."

No, the first thing that caught his attention was the glow through the screen at the back of the room. Now that was eerie and mysterious. As he wandered towards that, he noticed the chilled containment units. Locked. Dated? "What do you think would happen if I swapped the sticky notes?" he asked his lusus with a grin, just to see Hogdad scold him for thinking about that, and then the blueblood grinned wider to make Hogdad think he was serious, and so make his lusus panic some. "Okay, okay, calm down. It was a joke. You and that Juggalo both need to chill."

Last, he paid attention to the best of show. Those bottles of glorified soda. As he perused the collection, the area started to fill with color. "Fifty beetles says this is what she was talking about," he said as dryly as he could despite being somewhat impressed. Now this was dedication, even if it was towards something utterly pointless.

"How many did she want again? Two? Do you think she'll kill me if I pick a combination that might be some kind of bad omen or some kind of cuss in Faygo language?"

Sypon

Is this the right choice of action sensei

 

[Sypon]

Meanwhile, Tamiya waited outside for the blueblood. He was taking quite some time. Perhaps choosing the best flavor of Faygo. It occurred then to Tamiya that she might have done well to tell him not to snoop around too much, but alas. Again, if he didn’t return, all was well.

Tamiya made last adjustments to the obelisk before stepping back. Her feet swiveled in the sand. She picked up a sword and tested its weight in her hands. Sinter had given her some advice on swordplay, but finesse was not needed here. She held it in both hands, wrapping her fingers around the grip. With a short “Hup!” And a strangely unidentifiable whistle, Tamiya charged towards the obelisk and jammed the sword in with a sharp piercing motion. The crunch of the material and satisfying thud made her release the breath she was subconsciously holding. Tamiya took a step back and moved to the next weapon.

--

In the cellar, all was quiet. The hushed clacking of wood from up above was all that disturbed the otherwise uneventful atmosphere and finally the rainbow of lights began to dim with Guouli’s consideration.

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

Options, options. The colder stocks were locked. Okay. Guess she meant the ones on display. At first, he reached for some purple bottles, but with his hand outstretched, Guouli halted his efforts all of a sudden. A cheeky thought bloomed in his mind. He grinned, sharp teeth showing, and turned to grab some rather warm-hued ones. Hey, she didn't specify color. Just drinks. He did what he could, and even that fact was hilarious on his own. What, did this lady just always have people come around who she demanded do stuff for her? Must be a purpleblood thing. Might just be demented and expected everyone to do what she wanted anyway.

He came back up, stuff in tow, as well as his lusus, who continued to think this was a super bad idea and kept squealing about it.

"Shuuuut uuuup already. I've got this," Guo hissed back. He was soon up near Tamiya's ceremony again. "Yo, lady. This what you wanted? You had a lot of stuff down there, cool and all, but I guess you didn't want me touching the locked stuff and the sticky notes."

Would've been a great prank though if she didn't have a sword and all.

Sypon

/o-o/

 

[Sypon]

Tamiya put out a hand to the child without looking at him. The other was holding firm grip on the sword. “Shh…” She commanded with a simple tone.

Tamiya took one step forward, as though testing the sand. With a quick, but quiet grunt she thrust her arms forward. The sword sliced through the wood, causing nary a sliver. It was a nearly perfect cut. There was a satisfying thunk from inside the obelisk. Tamiya slowly released her hands, then wiped them on her hakama and turn around.

“Yo, ********, my name is Tamiya. There is no need for a nickname that I have not pre-established with you. You have succeeded at your task. Choose whichever flavor you like and I will take the other. Your name is…?”

Tamiya waited for his choice and took the other, unscrewing the cap with a satisfying hiss. She frowned. “Mmm, you did not shake it.” She took a sip and raised her eyebrows at him while doing so, as though appraising his capriciousness (or lack thereof). The faintest of a smile appeared on her lips, practically untraceable with her ferocious make-up. “It is best you did not touch my basement things. My lusus would become very cross. Would you like to thrust a sword through this ritualistic obelisk?”

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

He didn't shake it.

He didn't shake it.

He didn't shake it.

Guouli's gaze fell to the ground. Horror. How could he have missed that? There was every opportunity to have some fun here. And what had he done? Behaved. Follow orders. And even the most basic, the easiest little prank he could've played...he hadn't thought of it. What was wrong with him? What was he doing with his life? What would he do next, help the poor? Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez.
If he was just going to live his life as flat soda, what was the point?

The blueblood looked up. Oh. The Tamiya was still talking. He gripped his soda bottle tight, thrust it up and down faster and faster and faster, tilted the top towards the purpleblood before him, and threw the cap off.

"I'm Guouli!"

Sypon

*wheezes*

 

[Sypon]

Tamiya’s face was still as stone, drenched now by the sugary beverage. Her make-up was tragically water-proof, creating perfect beads of sparkling Faygo across her face. She shook her head – a short, formal vibrating motion that expelled the majority of the liquid. Her apparel was, of course, in need of a wash. Fortunately for Guouli, covered in sea spray and sand as it was, that was already a part of Tamiya’s nightly ritual. The stars had aligned.

She ran her tongue across her soda-covered lips and pursed them in thought. “Grape. Diet Grape. A middling flavor, but a respectable effort. I would recommend that you train in your spontaneity in the future. Such reactionary larking is tacky, not capricious.”

She turned away, and an idea bloomed in her mind. Tamiya was known for her routine, but any follower of the Carnival could make room for a dash of chaos. Perhaps something could come of this rambunctious imp.

“Very well, Guouli. My proposal is thus: take this sword and complete the ritual by jamming its blade into the face of this obelisk at approximately your frond-nub height. If you choose to accept, you are cordially invited inside of my hive for fatty, pre-packaged comestibles and the newest game releases as seen in the latest issue of Game Grub.”

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

No. Reaction. At. All. Anger flashed in Guo's chest. Outmatched, outclassed, and floundering. He'd make up for this, somehow. He'd show her. He'd show her good.

He glowered after Tamiya as she turned from him, and continued to stare daggers while the purpleblood talked. But the venom started to leave his glower as she continued on and on. She was going to let him hold a sword? Hell yeah!

He clearly hadn't been listening when she had asked him before.

"That's a lotta words to say stab the thing and party," he commented, barely cutting himself off before saying lady again. He wanted to, but also he was getting to use a sword? And get to eat garbage?

As he picked up the sword, he couldn't help saying, "Y'know, if this is like one of those movies where the main kid gets lured into a sacrifice ritual, I'm kinda cool with it. This is the wildest s**t I've seen, bro."

He held the sword out, heavy in his arms, moving towards the obelisk slowly. Then he finally went in with a methodical jab and a loud yell. Well, a few. getting the sword to jam in properly was a bit difficult for him. It was as if stabbing things with something one had never used before could be hard.

"Ha!" Guo crowed when it stuck out straight. He turned to Tamiya, proud of himself. Hogdad watched on, hoping whatever just happened was a positive bonding experience. Or, he didn't want to have to ground his child again...

The blueblood didn't seem worried at all. "So, you got any twinkies?"

Sypon

*Kazoos*