[LONG & BOY TROUBLE] If anyone wants to help a girl out!

[Cheliaa]

brief history:
I was texting buddies with this guy for a very long time since second sem of Gr 11. (Gr 12 now). We both made an effort to talk IRL but it never really worked out. I guess we were close.. I didnt tell him much but he told me like.. everything. He went as far to call me his "best friend" and "journal" even though all we did was text.. rolleyes
He had a girlfriend of two months then he dumped her. While he dated her, he flirted with me & made it obvious he didnt like her. He also really liked another girl who wouldnt date him because of school. After he dumped her, he asked me to be FWB and at the end of the year he was going to ask out his crush. I obviously said no. He still flirted with me and sometimes brought up sexual topics (his fantasies & what not rolleyes ) I always talked about anime & video games to make it clear i didnt want to talk about sex but it never really worked.. so I slowly stopped texting. I would go for weeks without texting and sometimes replying once in a blue moon. He still sent texts. It seemed like he didnt get the hint so I told him straight up i wanted to stop texting because we dont talk irl and it's awkward. He was like "Okay Bye!" evil
He did make plans to meet up with me but I never said yes because it was at his house and I knew he wanted sex. (even if he claimed we were just gonna watch anime ya ok rolleyes )

We stopped texting 3 months ago. He would often stare at me down in the halls, I always ignored him. He was put into my best friends class (he sees me everywhere with her) and tried talking to her all the time and joked how they would look good together. My best friend says she literally ignores him and doesnt say a word and yet he started convos all the time.

I also bumped into him at his work and he was talking to me as if everything was perfectly fine between us when it was not. I was with my dad so I couldnt be rude but I made it obvious I didnt want to talk to him. He was trying to show off he had a job but i shut him up when i told him I had 2. talk2hand

Oh and on his personality..In person he's very awkward and shy and he is the nerdy looking but cute and manly type of guy. It's hard to carry convos with him because hes just.. awkward. On texting hes completely different. As i got to know him, i realized he has a big ego, the typical douche personality and mindset and it was like..wow i felt deceived. It turned me off everyday especially when he talked bad about his gf and compared us .. like for ex asking if i like meat and stating his gf is a vegetarian

PRESENT:
2 days ago, he sent me a text.
This was the convo:

Stupid Butthole:
Want to hear an update on my tragic love story?

Unless you being in --name of his job-- looking for a phone means you finally bought a new one and changed your number

Nvm

Whoever this is

Me:
Me:
Im pretty sure we agreed to stop texting each other lol

Stupid Butthole
Ok ok. Jeez. Just that there was a twist D:

Me:
What honestly makes you think I care?

Stupid Butthole:
Nm. Just that I think I told you that I'd tell you if anything changes. It's fine if you don't. More like entertainment for you then anything

Me:
And I already told you it's awkward to text each other when we cant even talk irl.

Stupid Butthole:
That's a pretty aggressive answer though so I take it you don't want to know. That's alright. Back to not texting!

Me:
Yeah, don't text me again thanks. smile

The day after that I, of course, passed by him in the hall. He kept looking at me but looked away when I looked at him.

I really don't understand boys.Why on earth would you text someone if they clearly want nothing to do with you? I was also really surprised he didnt question my rudeness.. I'm pretty sure he has no idea why I dislike him so much now.

At first me & my friend thought he wanted to have revenge on me because i wanted to stop texting (IDK he holds grudges) and thought he was trying to get with my best friend to get back at me. But now .. im not so sure. He did finally stop bothering her after the convo I had with him.

Sorry if this was so long. I appreciate the answers. 4laugh I feel kind of a loser posting this on gaia sweatdrop  

[NanoAer]

*Reads and strokes my Imaginary Manly Goatee*

I think it's great how you stand up all awesome-like and tell him how it is each time. cool

I really get how a person can appear one way via text/email/letter/etc and then turn around and be completely different in person. I'm a lot like that myself, to be honest. But I think Guys take it to a higher level- especially those who are shy/awkward to talk to in person. People in general can flow their thought process better by writing out what they think- at least from my experience with people I've greatly noticed this. He sounds like the kind of person who finds it easier to get his head wrapped around words on a screen.

Which still doesn't give him the right to be all awkward and sexual- texting a girl he hardly talks to in person. I mean seriously talk2hand Luckily you seem to already get that :thumbsup: <_< Grr, Imagine that's a Thumbs up emote. We should have those...

But I digress.

Quote:

I really don't understand boys.Why on earth would you text someone if they clearly want nothing to do with you? I was also really surprised he didnt question my rudeness.. I'm pretty sure he has no idea why I dislike him so much now.

Boy's can be dense. (( dramallama ))

It's like how you can joking call someone a Jerk, A$$, or B*tch VIa text. and Its all good if you add 'LOL : )'

Because it's 'Just a Text Convo' He probably doesn't take you serious enough. I would Advise NOT responding to him AT ALL. Not even to remind him that your not texting. Because if you reply- You're breaking your own rule. Have you tried Blocking His Number?

If this Boy is watching you all creepy like- So long as he doesn't try to get all up in your face suddenly Ignoring him is probably best. If he gets more aggressive; Example: Following you. Giving you creepy Stares- Basically anything that makes you uncomfortable- You're still in school right? (I'm assuming he is too since you mentioned seeing him in halls) Tell a Teacher or someone who can step in and be like, "Bro. Mind your distance before I poke your eyes out."

.......
pirate
.......

Kay, maybe not like that But you get the Idea~~ 4laugh

Don't feel like a loser~ I hope In someway I helped a bit~

~Aria  

[Infinite_Randomness]

I agree with Arillena and I wanted to address a few other points:

I don't know if you told your father about this boy, but I'm sure that if he knew, that he'd probably support your decision. (I don't know your father or your relationship with him, but most dads are protective of their girls when it comes to relationships with boys. smile )

Additionally, I think that he does know why you haven't been talking to him- I'm glad you stood up to him every time, tactful but strong. > biggrin Honestly, I feel like most of your exchange was about two things for him- to change your mind (talking to you about sexual topics when you said that you weren't interested, trying to chat up your friend) and make your his 'own' (trying to get you emotionally invested in his 'love life', talking down his own girlfriend while making you some half-assed offer for being FWB).

I agree with you in that he probably did think that trying to get close to friend was supposed to make you jealous...the only thing is that I guess he really didn't take your lack of interest in his love life seriously. He had a good friend and ruined it by making things all awkward with his silly posturing and attempts at emotional manipulation.

Dear Dear Diaryxo, you have done the right thing and done it well by continually standing up for yourself. I hope that you he doesn't bother you anymore and that you find a better guyfriend and don't have to deal with such nonsense anymore. smile

heart  

[Cheliaa]

Infinite_Randomness

I agree with Arillena and I wanted to address a few other points:

I don't know if you told your father about this boy, but I'm sure that if he knew, that he'd probably support your decision. (I don't know your father or your relationship with him, but most dads are protective of their girls when it comes to relationships with boys. smile )

Additionally, I think that he does know why you haven't been talking to him- I'm glad you stood up to him every time, tactful but strong. > biggrin Honestly, I feel like most of your exchange was about two things for him- to change your mind (talking to you about sexual topics when you said that you weren't interested, trying to chat up your friend) and make your his 'own' (trying to get you emotionally invested in his 'love life', talking down his own girlfriend while making you some half-assed offer for being FWB).

I agree with you in that he probably did think that trying to get close to friend was supposed to make you jealous...the only thing is that I guess he really didn't take your lack of interest in his love life seriously. He had a good friend and ruined it by making things all awkward with his silly posturing and attempts at emotional manipulation.

Dear Dear Diaryxo, you have done the right thing and done it well by continually standing up for yourself. I hope that you he doesn't bother you anymore and that you find a better guyfriend and don't have to deal with such nonsense anymore. smile

Thanks both of you i was worried I was doing something wrong. The only thing I did wrong was not tell him directly what I thought of him instead of saying we cant talk because its too awkward.

Thanks so much guys!! After the xmas break he finally stopped passing by my locker and stopped bothering my friend so I'm pretty sure he's given up.

Unfortunately he might be in my physics class next sem .. :/

I'll worry about that when it happens but I really appreciate the feedback!!  

[comickit]

He wants you. You are doing the right thing not talking to him tbh.  

[Cheliaa]

comickit

He wants you. You are doing the right thing not talking to him tbh.

Thanks smile . The sad thing is it's completely for sexual purposes and here I thought he was a good guy. Sigh. Guys are so disappointing.. I find it hard to make guy friends, not sure if it's just me.  

[comickit]

Dear Diaryxo

comickit

He wants you. You are doing the right thing not talking to him tbh.

Thanks smile . The sad thing is it's completely for sexual purposes and here I thought he was a good guy. Sigh. Guys are so disappointing.. I find it hard to make guy friends, not sure if it's just me.

I know exactly how you feel and its not only you. Don't worry about just be cautious when making friends (including females!).  

[flauterfli]

Completely stop texting him.
Don't even tell him you don't want to text -
he won't get it if you respond and give him any attention.
(Players are like that, girl)

And yeah, it's hard to make guy friends if they're not in a serious relationship or married
This one guy continuously messaged me on fb & texted constantly
I just thought we were good friends, you know?
He knows my husband pretty well but they're not buddies (this is a no-no that I wasn't really aware of)
He was in town one week and asked me to come over for dinner
with just him there
not as friends, but to hook up!
I'm like: bro, I'm married and omg PREGNANT?!
and he's all, yeah so? I don't mind
WELL I MIND!!
(I never told my husband about this, I was so embarrassed that I had unwittingly lead some horny guy on)

I'm still kinda naive, amazingly...but the best thing to do is to completely cut off all forms of communication


 

[Infinite_Randomness]

Dear Diaryxo

Infinite_Randomness

I agree with Arillena and I wanted to address a few other points:

I don't know if you told your father about this boy, but I'm sure that if he knew, that he'd probably support your decision. (I don't know your father or your relationship with him, but most dads are protective of their girls when it comes to relationships with boys. smile )

Additionally, I think that he does know why you haven't been talking to him- I'm glad you stood up to him every time, tactful but strong. > biggrin Honestly, I feel like most of your exchange was about two things for him- to change your mind (talking to you about sexual topics when you said that you weren't interested, trying to chat up your friend) and make your his 'own' (trying to get you emotionally invested in his 'love life', talking down his own girlfriend while making you some half-assed offer for being FWB).

I agree with you in that he probably did think that trying to get close to friend was supposed to make you jealous...the only thing is that I guess he really didn't take your lack of interest in his love life seriously. He had a good friend and ruined it by making things all awkward with his silly posturing and attempts at emotional manipulation.

Dear Dear Diaryxo, you have done the right thing and done it well by continually standing up for yourself. I hope that you he doesn't bother you anymore and that you find a better guyfriend and don't have to deal with such nonsense anymore. smile

Thanks both of you i was worried I was doing something wrong. The only thing I did wrong was not tell him directly what I thought of him instead of saying we cant talk because its too awkward.

Thanks so much guys!! After the xmas break he finally stopped passing by my locker and stopped bothering my friend so I'm pretty sure he's given up.

Unfortunately he might be in my physics class next sem .. :/

I'll worry about that when it happens but I really appreciate the feedback!!

You are most welcome. smile I'm glad to hear things are going well- I anticipate that he will not be a problem for you this following semester. And if he is, I feel like it'll be no big because you've gotten the major problem of out the way. emotion_awesome