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 Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 6:55 am
I've been thinking about love relationships...
I often see failed relationships. I haven't met the one yet. I'm not really searching because I don't believe I can find the one on a dating website or in a club or bar.
I am also very shy so it doesn't help to do the first step (talking to stranger).
I started to doubt about love and relationships. Around me people date because they hate to be single, they want to have some physical and emotional satisfaction. Some people are just selfish and they date because they want a woman to clean and cook or a man to help them financially. Some people don't respect their ''lovers''; for example, emotional harassment, abuse and physical violence. Those relationships are meant to fail.
Then, I see true love story often online, on news, on youtube (youtubers that vlog their life). An year ago, I asked Gaians to talk about their love stories. So, I told myself, love does exist they are people that are honest in their feelings and loyal to their lovers.
However, I believe some people are meant to be alone because they just don't find the one. For example, my mom, her divorced friends or my friends' divorced parents. I don't want to start to explain what happened in their love life.
I'm 24. I haven't been in a relationship. I haven't been loved by a guy. I had crushes but it couldn't develop more because it was one sided.
You may say I still have a long time to find the one. It's just a maybe.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:07 am
Love is interesting. Each day you wake up and choose to love the person you're with. It's not a feeling, it's a choice to be loyal, respectful, intimate, and open to a partner. You can choose to close off yourself but Love is vulnerability and trust. Which isn't an easy place to be.
relationships are about commitment you have to put the effort in to make them work. Often why Long distance relationships fail, overtime it becomes difficult to put in the time to keep the relationship going. it could also be argued why normal relationships can fail. You also have to learn how to compromise or conjoin your values with another person. A relationship is not something that can be formed overnight.
As for dating, It should be approached without too many expectations. Don't date expecting your entire future is revolved around this person, that will come if the relationship is progressing. Though dating is important because it means you get to know a person you can keep things casual and you don't have to take things seriously. So if someone is making the effort (and not making you feel uncomfortable) you should maybe go for coffee see what happens. Don't wait for the butterfly crush feelings to occur, but if you don't feel a connection you can let him down gently, or avoid another date with them.
Relationships are about making a connection and to do that you have to date people and let the connections form. If the connections form you can have love total honesty and loyalty and trust.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 3:36 pm
Maybe you're right. Some people have completely fulfilling lives without having a constant relationship, or even wanting one. There are some asexual people who are never able to find someone they have feelings for that can handle their sexual orientation and they are perfectly happy seeking platonic love from friendships. Some people who are aromantic use this to their advantage and never engage in relationships so that they can focus on success in their careers. Some people are both ace and aro and just don't care.
Ultimately it's up to you to decide if you want a relationship, and if you do how to go about finding one. I had a point where I thought I was never going to get asked on another date in my life but upon examining my lifestyle and my choices I realized I wasn't giving people who might be interested a chance at getting to know me. When I started to make choices that allowed me to be around people more often, it resulted in people being interested.
If you're perfectly happy as you are now, then you don't need to change a thing. Relationships aren't for everyone.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 8:28 am
Thank you for sharing your thoughts !
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