How do you balance friendships and relationships?

[cool4]

I've pondered this for sometime.

I've heard people argue that if your girl friends don't like your partner, they likely see something in the person that you don't.

Sometimes I've heard that it's just jealousy.

I've heard that people should abandon their friends who aren't supportive of their relationship?

What approach do you take?
Is it dependent on the friend?
How do you manage to balance your friendships with your relationships?


With my current relationship I saw the tensions between my room-mates and my boyfriend. My solution to the problem was to move out on my own. I'm still friends with my ex room-mates, though because we're all busy college students it gets harder to see them. When I do see them, if I mention my boyfriend I always get this weird tension that I'm not sure how I'm supposed to respond. Any advice?

I also hang out with the engineering/computer science crowd and my boyfriend is in engineering so my friends from my school major are much more understanding and accepting, they even think we work well together.

I don't know if it's because I was living with my room-mates when I first started dating him that they have a different impression, or if he really makes them that uncomfortable that I can barely bring my boyfriend up in conversation.

I just feel I have to filter so much depending on the people I'm around and I wonder how do you deal with tensions between friendships and your relationships?  

[cool4]

Pirate Dirge

cool4

Have you asked them--or have they told you--what it is about him that sets them on edge?

Extreme feminism, and dominant male.

Now that I have more time, I guess I can expand on this.

He's very formal partially because it helps him deal with his autism, because of that they don't really understand how to respond to him. On top of that he's a high testosterone alpha male and my ex-room-mates are feminist so he in stills a bit of fear which adds to the part where they don't know how to respond.

Differing opinions on pretty much everything.
Basic personality clashes which causes a lot of problems.  

[johnlennonandcupcakes]

If your friends have a problem with your boyfriend, it is always important to at least consider the things that they say. You obviously have the final say in your own life. I certainly should have heeded opinions a lot more in the past.

It sounds like with these particular people, the issue isn't your boyfriend, but them. There's nothing wrong with being a feminist, but there's also nothing wrong with being a confident man. If he doesn't make you uncomfortable, explain why to your friends, and try to help them accept him. Don't get defensive, just try to explain.

Hope this helps, despite it being nearly a year late.  

[AstridMiriam]

My friend barely speaks to me.
She maybe knows I am friends with this kid who took my virginity I think.
She never hits me up like she does at a normal time.
She only hits when its random.
I feel depressed without her but yeah that's all her.