Feelings I Don't Understand [Long]

[ImHall]

So I've really had a hard time figuring out how to talk to me about my feelings because of the unique circumstances of my relationship… So, I guess I have to give some back story.

[My story - short version] -- I'm a product of divorced parents, and I didn't have many friends growing up. However, when I did have friends, I always had really intimate and life changing friendships. It's been the same with my relationships. However, when I got to college, I met this guy that just took my breath away. It took me a while, but I finally realized that he's the one person that I'm in love with. Like to describe it accurately, I would have to say that I see myself marrying him in the future.

[His]-- When he was in high school he had brain surgery. He suffered from short-term memory loss, stamina problems, etc. However, the worst symptom was his depression from not having many people to relate to. However, he and I connected… We are like two peas in a pod and he tells me he loves me all the time.

[The issue]-- Lately, he's been struggling. He's an A student, but he struggles to maintain his grades, and he's been more depressed than usual. He has been talking to his priest and his parents, and they (he and his parents) talked to me about him taking some time off from the university life. I told him that I'd support him and be there for him, because I love him, and that this doesn't change anything in our relationship… But I can't help but have these feelings like I'm losing him… Like if he leaves the university, we'll fall out of love. It feels like my heart is falling apart at the seams, even though I know that's not the case at all… I just don't understand why I'm feeling this way… It's like just knowing that he won't be there, I feel so lonely, and am having a tremendously hard time accepting that he's dropping out for a while… I don't know what to do, or how to talk to anyone about this… I don't know if anyone can understand what we're going through.. what I'm going through…

I hope I don't sound selfish.  

[Kitalpha Hart]

That's not very long, hon

When the stress hits overdrive, ya gotta cut off the source(s), even if for a little while. It sounds like his stress has hit overdrive, so you might as well encourage him to take a semester off, blow off some of that steam
If most/all of your time is at university, then yeah, you'll lose him a bit. However, if the two of you feel the same way about each other, then you can work something out, even if it's FaceTime or Skype once a day/night
But you have nerves, quite normal in this kind event. Really shows that you like/love him. Don't let them take over, and when he comes back, you'll be a happy couple again~  

[ImHall]

I'm glad that didn't seem long. To me it feels like a long story.

So, I did already tell him to do what he thinks best, and that I'd support him no matter what… But I honestly wish he wouldn't take a semester off, because he's so close to graduating.. I guess that means what you're saying is really accurate… I know that I want him to be better, or at least okay… and if that means taking a break from school that'd be great for him.. I think I still need to convince myself that its the best decision for him… I just can't seem to get there yet and I want to be, which is why this is confusing to me. Haha…

Thanks for your feedback, it really helps to have someone bounce my thoughts off of.