Welcome to Gaia! ::

She had gone to their makeshift gardens in the hopes of clearing her thoughts. Of coming to inner peace through possible meditation. Yet went the small walk had he tense, had her mind fraught with worry and concern. Invictus had given her some food for though, some parts of it being though to chew and swallow.

The gardens were supposed to help clear her mind, but they did not help much, and the fact that her expression, her mild frustration was shown so clearly on her face despite her trying to mask it was annoying. Arms tucked into sleeves, she stood, lost int thought, only staring at water.

Until she heard her name.

Blinking, her head turned to see Kiwi not far from her, and Lan had a moment of self annoyance to the fact she'd missed him. A small how of her head, eyes went back to the water. "And to you Kiwi. Have you come to enjoy the gardens as well?"

Honesty was a noble trait, one she could respect, admire. Lan enjoyed the refreshing knowledge that things might be laid bare and known. But, honestly came at a price. This price one she did not yet know. To hear Kiwi was troubled had her concerned, the mention of insanity... she stiffened. "Sometimes the answers you seek are not the ones you want to hear." Hands folded into her robes as she looked down, any sort of happiness void. Just an expressionless mask.

"I spoke with Invictus of it recently. It was.. enlightening." She left it at that, making a small motion with her head to join her for a walk. "It is a bit... complex of a subject."

She nodded a bit at the name of the heir, followed by a tiny almost unnoticeable sigh. He was just that intimidating, and to think he was the heir of her clan and her cousin no less. Things just got a bit difficult.

"I asked how he had.. dealt with his own affliction, what I might do to aid those touched.. I found I did not like all I heard." Pausing in front of a few yet to bloom water lilies, the tiny frown formed. "What works for one might not work for others. Not all respond the same. This is a truth of many things, yet for insanity... I was told a strong bond it what tethered his majesty to this realm."

Lan shook her head, not quite sure that she could completely explain it in a way that was highly optimistic. Perhaps because her own concerns were just more than they actually were to her. Fingers ran along silk, enjoying the comforting feeling of simple familiarity.

"I don't think it matters. I was told a bond is needed, a desire also might do the same. Just something to tether you to this world rather than another." A small hair toss, the headdress she wore letting out a few chimes. The sound too, was familiar, comforting. Comfort was just what she needed really.

"What keeps you here Kiwi? Love?"

Lan loved without loving anymore. Such a complex, yet, simple word. A word she hated yet sought out for comfort. Contradictory at best. The mention that she was Kiwi's friend had the faintest smile tugging at her mouth, though her gaze remained fixed on the gardens.

"I find I have more friends than I thought. But, I am not one who can answer that question Kiwi. Only you can. If.. if you were called, would you go? or would you stay? That is the question I guess, we must ask of you, of any of us. Do our hearts define this fate, or can we control it, guide ourselves?" She shook her head.

"I do not enjoy Medea's plans of revenge, hunters are human, time will always be in our favor for that account, yet we are.. lost. We have lost much, and to rise again will take time. Revenge does not always need to be swift after all." Out in the flowers, she watched a mantis wait, swaying back and forth. "Sometimes it is best to wait for your prey to come to you." Blinking she'd realized she'd deviated, shaking her head.
"I talk more than necessary."

Lan smiled, the mantis had her prey, an unsuspecting fly. Nature, at it's finest. "Part of why Insanity is so important to me.. I fear what it's loss would signal. Change for what? What would be the price? Is it a true loss? Can it be lost or only...adapted. I see what it has done, how it might become.. a part of someone. Yet I don't know- do I speak to insanity or those I hold dear?"

A heavy sigh, she held out her hand, watching as the mantis climbed onto her finger, fly still in it's jaws.

"The world is often crueler than I anticipate it to be."

Lan didn't know for once if her cousin was right. It wasn't often that she let that small part of her nag, but then, now it was a personal matter. A matter with invested interests and long standing personal emotional ties. It made things difficult. Mostly on herself, by her own creation.

"You ask someone who is uncertain. In the end it is a struggle I can do little for, only support. I can help, I am willing to do a great deal, but even I don't know how things will happen. The future is uncertain."

Very, very uncertain. Lan looked back where the mantis had been, now gone. "We must keep moving, keep trying, keep fighting. At the very least, these things are constant. I don't know of certainties, but I am willing to chance fate. Gambling.. well, I suppose we all must make some small bets hrm?"