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Nothing can ever prepare a person when it comes to unfortunate events, including me but that was when as a child, your knowledge was limited. It was a moment for me where I felt like there was going to be hope for me and for the future I might be able to see. My memories take me back to where the sight of Red Alder trees. Dressed up in white, the trees made up a fantasy-like vast ocean. The droplets of white fell down onto the transparent barrier between me and the outdoors. The barrier was made by my father, whom decided it was best to take me to this vast land in response to what seemed to be a nasty separation between him and my mother. The words they spoke are now nothing but inaudible recordings in my mind, only remembering the physical part which was blocked by the darkness as if protecting me. Everything that happened was a blur to me; it was like how a radio gets all static during a conversation. It was like when my Father complained about the static ruining FDR’s speech on the radio. I don’t know much about the man Father adored, I was born in 1955 which I was too young to understand at that point. The only thing that can only make sense to me is where I sat right now, as the lands passed by me like an instant slideshow.
Inside of my father’s black Chevy Corvette, I let my hand linger on the leather cushions that my body sat on. I still lacked the understanding on why we are coming to the land known as Alaska. I always thought my father hated that place, why are we here? Nothing made sense to me that time, and being at the tender age of 9 didn’t help at all. “It will be fun, trust me.”
I peered onto my left to see my father is now talking, for the first time in what might have been forever to me. His appearance was so different compared to me, making everyone question if we are really father and daughter. While he had white skin, mine was tannish-brown. He had blonde hair, I had black hair. While his religion was Christianity, mine was Native American. Maybe our difference is the reason why it scared me, and how I longed for my mother again. I was told I looked more like my mother, almost like a twin. Maybe the similar appearance is why the relationship between her and I grew so much, or since we both share the liking to animals and the magic of them. Maybe that’s why I was too scared to meet his glance, afraid of what will become of me if I take one peek. It also by the fact he wasn’t always there in my life; hence why I didn’t trust him much.
He didn’t say anymore to me, and I almost felt like opening the door and getting out of the car. I felt like a voice inside of my head told me to ‘run….run….get away from here’. A cold shiver runs down my spine, my hand vibrates onto the car-door pocket reacting to the cold chill. I could only look through the cover that my father built to keep the car dry, my eyes scanned the area that passed by. In a spur of a moment, I suddenly see a creature as magnificent as the dress of white on the land.
The creature was a large, slender one covered in what was pure white. It had a wide forehead with the ears are relatively small and triangular shaped. The creature was sitting on one of the hilltops, watching as if it was guard curious on the ‘visitor’ that passes by. Those 5 seconds felt like hours as I recalled the brown eyes, the eyes of my mother. Those eyes pierced me as if a dart to a board, leaving me in a moment of awe. Then time went to normal speed, and the creature was covered by the hill never to be seen. My head darted around the transparent barrier to maybe get another glance at the creature but it was gone; and I thought that maybe it was the last time I was going to see it…but I turned out to be wrong later on.
During my ‘search’ in the car, the scenery then seemed to go in sudden slow motion. I then took a peek through the car’s front window frame, to be shocked that nature was now replaced by disgusting images of square-shaped buildings and many things I could not decipher. Many of the machines on wheels were moving behind me, in front, or zooming past which made my head spin a bit. From green to yellow, blue to red, and white to black I literally thought I was seeing a rainbow of colors on the same streets of Anchorage, Alaska.
Then I noticed that the car was slowing starting to stop, I then see that my Dad decided to pull the car to the side. I guessed we made it to our destination when I started to see that my Dad was turning off the engine. “We’re here.” I heard him say.
He then exits from the car, which got me to do the same. Once exiting, I tilted my head to see what was in front of me; it seemed to be a moderate-looking hotel with three stories. It was decked in white like snow, with wooden doors painted what seemed to be a red-wood color and seasonal signs that tell of the coming ‘spring’ ahead. I blinked a few times, before realizing my Dad was entering the establishment. Following him, I was able to get a glance at the interior design of the home.
It felt warm and welcoming; the place already gave me a sense of what home feels. Then a desk was seen, it had many flowers with the colors of green and yellow dangling around the edges as if to signify spring. Then I noticed that the desk had made two pathways, one seemed to be leading to a lobby where many people sat on dust-colored chairs and couches. The people there were laughing and seemed to be into a conversation that I am a little oblivious too. Then I checked the other path which was to my left, it lead to a gift-shop and the stairs which probably lead to the rooms. I then tore my attention away to hear what my Dad was saying: “Yes. I am here for a reservation for two for the day. My name is John Pick-a-low, and this is my daughter Tala.” His tone of voice, although sweet and friendly, made my eyes widen and body shiver to no end. The lady, whose short black hair curled toward her neck, sways her pink over blouse, shaped with curved bodice seam caught by a bow gave out a nice chuckle, the both were thinking of something I now am too frightened to think about.
“Yes, pleased to meet you.” She then looked down to the book and nods: “You reserved for a room in March 27th?”
“Yes.” He responded, giving the young lady a smile. She smiles back: “Well then mister, here you go. Your room is 203; it should be on your right side.” She then gives him the keys which gave me a sigh of relief before I decided to go see the room while my Dad went to go get the luggage. My hand pushed down on the door handle as I headed up one flight of stairs to reach the 2nd floor. Every step I took made a metallic clang sound which reminded me of the ceremonial drum ceremony my Mom used to take me too.
I now started to miss her so badly and now wonder where she went and why she had to go. Many more questions appeared in my head as soon as I went to another door which had a sign that said ‘2nd floor’. I opened it and then I suddenly realize someone was right in front of me. An older woman, with wrinkles that withstood time stood there in front of me. Her body stood up straight as if a strong mighty force.
A mighty force appeared in her eyes, making me step back as if I was too weak to face it. Her clothing reminded me of mother; her brown shawl which had many strings at the end, tying many colors of beads together. Those beads seemed to sway to an invisible wind, making soft music that could drone out the evil from someone. “I’m sorry.” I heard myself croak, realizing it had been many days since I had spoken.
“It’s ok child, I used to have your kind of energy my age. My, it has been so long. But I do say you are a lucky girl.” I tipped my head, wondering what she meant. The elderly woman soon sees my curiosity. “You don’t know do you?” My head went up and down.
“Well now, this is absurd. Did no one teach you about Animal Spirit Guides?” I then widened my eyes. “W-Well I-.” I stuttered, as if scared to meet her wrath. But she lightly hushes. “Oh it’s ok, I am not blaming you for anything. Come, you want to sit with me?” I then see that she was pointing at two chairs at the end of the hallway, which lead to two more. I felt hesitant to follow a stranger but then I see that she was very nice and doesn’t really mean harm so I nodded: “Ok.” I then held her hand as if to guide her down to the chairs. When I held her hand, I felt a surge of power come through her to my arm. I felt frozen and had no idea what was going on, nor if it was harmful or not.
The tingle on my arm then started to move downward to where my chest was, giving me a sensation which I could not understand until it suddenly vanished. When I soon realize it was gone, I continued walking until we reached the chairs. “Oh dear, you mind helping me?” She asks of me, as I got her to slowly sit down so she wouldn’t hurt herself before sitting down as well.
“Tell me please…?” I find myself saying: “I want to know more about the animal guides.”
“Well little Missy. There are different types of spirit guides. There is a messenger spirit, journey spirit, life spirit, and shadow spirit.” She then coughed a little, as if something was stuck. “To better understand them; I will tell you what each of them are. A Messenger Spirit guide is a spirit that usually appears in order to guide or warn of a specific situation, and will stay with you until she message is received and the warning has been heeded.
“Then there is a Journey Spirit Guide: a spirit whom comes to a fort in the road or when a decision you have to make is needed in order to help change the path you are on. The spirit will remain with you until your journey is completed.”
I felt in awe as she was telling me about the spirits that my Mother would have told me if only the arguing never happened, then something seemed to peek from within. It was if the fighting lead to something I had not been able to seen. She then started describing the Life spirit guide as someone that reflected me and my life and the Shadow spirit that tests my fear. But I now had a question, and I politely waited until she was finished with her explanation: “Ma’am. I think I have seen one of those guides.”
“Oh have you dear?”
“Yes.” I responded. “I was driving with my ‘Dad’ as we decided to take a road trip I guess after an argument he and Mom had. During the road, I see a doggy with white fur watching me with brown eyes; it looked very serious and was standing there. I stared at it until we were divided by the hill which blocked us from seeing each other.”
“Brown eyes?” She scratched her chin softly. “By your description, that must’ve been a wolf you saw but I never heard of a wolf with brown eyes. But if I may put it out there, that must have been your spirit animal. They are well known for Death and rebirth, and skilled with protection of self and family. But brown eyes are very strange for a wolf.”
“Ma’am….the eyes look like my mothers.” I whispered, as if scared someone will hear me and yell. The older woman stared at me for the longest time, as if she was going through a list to figure it out until she breathed out: “Can I ask you something?”
“Ok.”
“Was the argument verbal? Did you hear any noises besides the anger coming from them?” Her question made me think about it a little more, as a flashback slowly appeared inside my mind. But the flashback was covered in darkness, making me unable to see. My memory helped me remember the touch of the doors as I hear two voices….no three. There were three: two were male, one was female. The female was my Mom, the male was my Father, and the other one was a mystery to me. My mother was saying something about me: something about a ‘better place’ and to get away. Get away from what? I didn’t know at the time. Then I hear my Father: in a voice I soon was more familiar with; a scary tone.
A tone that reminded me of an evil woman in ‘Hundred and One Dalmatians’. My Father uttered the words: “Over……..no right……are minority……out.”
Then my mother: “I have every……she belongs….this place is no good…..” The rest of the words inaudible, but the volume was turned up. The noises they made now sounded like banshees wailing in a moonless night, then all of the sudden I heard this from the stranger’s voice: “This Ends Now.”
Bam.
That was all I heard. Everything now was silent, but it was not the good type of silence. I remember feeling horrified and out of breathe as if something inside my body tore. A sound of dragging feet emitted from the other side along with the door closing. The rest were blurs.
“Nuh-uh…” I answered the elderly woman. Then I gave her the information that had played through my mind, where I was in the darkness and the different noises. I also recalled the voices I could remember. I didn’t know if the lady grew pale or if she was supposed to be lite-brown but then I can feel her fear…a fear that I could not consume. “This is horrible…” Her voice broke out, as if she seemed to understand it a bit more than I do. Then something told me to look up at the clock, look and watch. I averted my eyes to look at the clock: It was 5:35 pm, almost nighttime.
“One minute…” I whispered, which haunted me to this very day. Then a voice rang through the hall: “Tala!”
It was my father.
I jumped up from the chair, standing up and brushing down my brown buttoned-up dress. I then turned to look at the elderly woman, when I soon see that the elderly woman was gone; vanished into thin air. I was literally spinning around to see where she went as my Father was starting to walk toward me. “What you looking for?”
Before I could say anything, a cold breeze blew softly passed me making my hair flutter upward a little bit as the hair fell back down to my shoulders. “Nothing.” Another voice took over me, as if someone else was beside me deciding on what to say. The presence that lingered soon vanishes, as if it turned and disappeared leaving me alone with him. “I got the room set-up, it’s actually back there.” He then starts heading back to where he came from, as I trailed behind him. I then soon see the number 203 on the door as he entered, and then me.
The utter feeling of dread had begun: something inside told me to stop…as if saying something was very wrong. My heart raced with my arms starting to get goose bumps, realizing that I actually might be in danger.
“Come on in, you don’t want to get cold do you?”
That voice of my father spoke in the atmosphere again, now knowing I have no other choice. I slowly entered the room quietly, as if a beast slept inside this very area. Then I turned to the left so my left hand can reach the door handle so it will be completely shut. But once that door was shut, it felt like the light of good had vanished and was taken over by an entity of evil. The room grew heavy and my body felt numb, already realizing that I am not safe. Then my body flew from the door, with pressure on my chest and my feet dangling from the ground. I tried to scream but my neck was suddenly feeling heavy and my chin was held up as if I was not allowed to look down or anywhere else.
“Man, it took you ******** forever.”
“There was traffic.” My father responded to a stranger that was close to me. Then it hit me: The stranger was the same one from the day I lost Mommy. “So are we going to end this or what?” Those words were almost exactly the same ones I heard from the flashback. “We should. I cannot let some stupid whore and her child ruin my life because of a stupid one-night stand.”
The darkness allowed me to hear a clang from the table. “It is so easy to convince this little twit. I was expecting her to run because she never knew she had a father. But now everything is in place.” Then a metallic sound rang through the room, it’s the same one I heard before a big ‘Bam’.
“She is a minority after all, so only one less cannibal will do us good.”
As soon as my Father said that, my eyes started to see the ceiling shifting back and forth. Either that or the whole building was moving… “Alright now hold her still ok Roger?”
“Got it.” The stranger responded, tightening his grip on my stomach and chin as if not to see the damage that was about to be done. Then the ceiling moved a little faster, responding to the events that they are seeing. I then could see I was not the only one seeing it: “What the hell is this?!”
“The ground’s moving!”
“Shoot already!” The evil voice rang through my ear as then the walls tilted and the earth moaned making everything tilt upward. “Mommy…” I whispered as everything I saw started to grow dark and the noises outside were now turning to screams, and metal skidding onto a pavement like long nails do to a chalkboard. Soon realizing what was happening, I screamed: “MOMMY!”
Then the world tilted and two men that got a hold of me now had to let go as the walls grew closer. It got close enough to where the voices of two evil men were drowned out, taken down by the forces of Mother Nature. Then mercifully, darkness consumed me.
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The darkness around me felt heart-warming and more forgiving than the darkness that prevented me from protecting mother from her death, along with my father for kidnapping me out of pure wickedness and greed of success. But now I will no longer be harmed by the evil entity and his companion, they will now be judged by the guardians of death to meet their end in eternal hell.
I thought that I would soon meet those guardians, as they would take me away from here. Take me and bring me to my Mom. But instead, I was woken up by something licking my face which was in friendly terms. I slowly opened my eyes to look up and see a sky that was gray and dull; no sun…no blue sky. I, somehow, survived the ordeal and also slept through the night. My body ached and tried to pull me down, but it was not persuasive enough to keep me from sitting up to see everything around me.
The building I was in now turned into nothing but wasteland, there was no sign of life and no sign of happiness. Everything I remembered now had degraded itself to dust, but then a whimper emitted from the eerie wreck. My head turned slowly to only widen my eyes: “It’s you.” I croaked.
That same dog from the hill greeted me with its white pelt and mighty face. “Your…You’re a wolf aren’t you?” I asked the godly-like being. The wolf stared at me with its brown eyes for the longest time before it did a short yip. Then it trudged toward me to lay its nose onto my shoulder and then face, licking off the blood and rust that remained on me. I then stared admirably into the wolf’s eyes, those welcoming brown eyes. The brown eyes that greeted me into this world and the ones that cheered for me when I danced to the mighty sun to thank the gods.
“Is that you mommy?”
I then notice the wolf tense up and stayed in that position for only a good second until it literally eyed me, I could see its tail flicker after I asked the question and then another yip. The wolf turned and faced the horizon where the dense forest was, then to me. “Are we going home?”
I then see the dog’s head went up and down as it took a hold of my short brown-sleeve. It then lifted me up to the ground until I could stand on my own. “Mommy I am ready.”
The wolf barked happily as then it led me down through the streets to get away from a horrible scene to be in a beautiful, crystal-white paradise. Then before I knew it, the forest grew brighter and my heavy feet soon turned lighter and my body felt warm. I ran toward the light with the wolf, feeling nothing but happiness and gratitude. I then realized I was going back home, a place where there is no such thing as darkness.
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