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 Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 6:07 pm
 Soooo.
I dated this guy for three years. We were planning to get married. He was my best friend. He was sweet, and one of the nicest guys I'd ever met. He lives kinda far from me and he'd drive down in the middle of the night to see me if I was super upset. Everything was amazing!!!
Then two years passed and he started to turn into a jerk. He stopped caring, he stopped being cute. He hated all my friends. He stopped trusting me and went through my phone all the time. I even dropped all my friends to make him happy. Except, he was NEVER happy anymore. I did everything wrong in the relationship.
He became abusive mentally. Sometimes a little bit physically. He posted really horrible things about me on the internet, he got mad at everything. We were always fighting. He cheated on me. Fights were always my fault. He NEVER did anything wrong. It was always me.
The last time I saw him we "made love", although looking back, maybe I was making love, but he was just screwing me one last time before he left for good.
It's been a year and I really, really missed him. Even though he did all those horrible things, I missed the guy I met at the beginning, The guy that was my best friend and the person I loved. I unblocked his number and texted him. We started talking again. He said he was so sorry for hurting me and that he had changed. We've hung out a few times and we still have feelings for each other. At least, I have feelings for him. I still love him. We even..well...we got close again.
Lately I've been trying to hang out with him, but he always blows me off. He always has an excuse. He has no gas in his car, he fell down the stairs, he has a headache. (Unless he wants to get laid. Then he has all the time and gas in the world.) I know him. If he wanted to hang out he'd make it happen. And I know for a fact he was up near me a couple days ago to see his friends, even though he had told me he was out of gas. I asked him if he wanted to say hi to me that day and he told me he was too busy. Apparently just too busy for me.
So today he texted me, telling me he was sorry for being so rude and for not texting me. I told him it was okay and then he tells me I haven't been texting him either, so he's not the only one to blame. I explained to him how every time I try to invite him to hang out he can't, so I've been waiting for him to come to me. Well, he asks if I can hang out tonight and I tell him I'm working all night. Buuuuttt, since I'm such a nice person, I tell him I'm willing to blow off work at the end of the night if he wanted to hang out. But all of a sudden he's busy. It's been like, a minute since he invited me to hang out. He sure moves on fast, doesn't he?
Ugggh, I guess the point of all this is I'm wondering if I should just give up? Being constantly blown off by him hurts. And then having him always trying to get in my pants when we do happen to hang out makes me feel used. :/ I still love him, but how many second chances should I give this guy? Do you guys think he's changed, because it doesn't feel like it.
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Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 6:22 pm
You have a lot of attachement to him, that's why it is hard to let him go, but you should.
Your story is similar to my friend. But she didn't tell anyone. One day she realize that he is a jerk, she should date someone like that, she should end this relationship and find a better man.
She found a better man, they are happily living together now.
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Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 6:29 pm
;o;
I wanna find a better man!
I just don't know anyone.
I mean, I kinda have a make-believe boyfriend that lives in Cali.
But he's so far I can never cuddle up to him.
D:
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Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 7:19 pm
Honestly yes, you should give up on this boy. Really, all this time you've been dealing with a child, not a grown human being. No adult treats someone like this, anyone, let alone the person they're with.
You're attached to who he was in the beginning, but what the honest to goodness truth is, that person isn't coming back. He isn't like that anymore. He has no intention of being that person again. He's messed up many a time and doesn't really care to fix it. Being attached to who he was before will brutally hurt you, if it hasn't already, in the long run. He got you attached to an idea of him, then completely and utterly changed. Believe me, you don't want a boy who will mentally and physically hurt you. He slandered you, made everything out to be your fault, made you give up people who cared about and loved you just because he didn't like them and to top it all off couldn't even stay faithful.
He added insult to every single injury he gave you, and then left you after getting his last lay. Please, please don't fall into this trap again. He'll keep giving you sob stories about how he's "changed" and how he's "sorry" for what he's done just to keep you interested, to keep you hooked, but he'll continue to dash out any kind of hope you have of having a good, healthy relationship with him, because it just isn't possible at this point. He hasn't changed, because as soon as he got you attached again, he started letting you down and blaming you again. You are being used, because all he cares to be nice to you for is sex. That's not fair to you, you don't need this.
I know it'll be hard to let go, but it's truly the best and most healthy choice for you. There will always be someone better out there for you, there is definitely someone better than him. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache giving him up.
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Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:06 pm
he's never going to change. DTMFA.
also, learn to be happy with yourself. being single for a period of time isn't a bad thing - you get to do what you want, when you want. relationships aren't everything. i'm married, and sometimes you miss the all the breathing room you had when you were single.
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Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:09 pm
Grr.
You guys are right.
Thank you.
<3
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Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 12:18 pm
You need to let him go. He sounds just like my ex who would do the same thing. Not to sound mean, but he probably has another girl on the side. That and he doesn't love you as much as you love him. Please do what I did and just drop him completely. LIke me, you will meet a guy that's so much better for you.
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