How does one deal with this?

[IbukiHoshi]

Nearly 3 months ago, I met this guy. He seemed pretty desperate to date me, but I at least made him wait about a month. Honestly, it's not like me to date someone that I've only known for such a short time. Anyways, we date for a week and he CONSTANTLY talks about his ex that supposedly lives 10 miles away from him, but he talks like she lives right around the block. I mean..she was bringing him lunch every afternoon and everything. He eve gets drunk as all heck with her one night, brings her home, lays her in his bed where she passes out drunk, gets online to tell me just that and that he's going to lay down with her then signs off. He then gets online about an hour and a half later saying that he woke her up and got his friend to take her home and that he felt bad and everything...but he tells me all of this while he's drunk. A couple of days later, he proceeds to break-up with me because he believes that I can do better.


About..maybe a week later, he comes crawling back saying that I'm the only one that's ever on his mind. I told him that he has ONE chance. So we date for what is about another week and a half. One night, he starts crying while looking through his ex's facebook pictures telling me that she was the one. A day after that, he proceeds to SERIOUSLY ask me to marry him(Where I of course declined). So the day before Christmas Eve, he breaks up with me AGAIN in thoughts that he can do better and we have a terrible fight. I told him to go back to his slut,(his ex gf that he's always around that he called a slut himself, then gets on MY case because I call her one) he said that he wished that I would drop dead. No matter HOW angry that I am with someone, I will NEVER tell them something like that. So I cry all night.


Now he claims that he spent Christmas Eve and Christmas crying over me while he flirts with my best friend who has no interest in him whatsoever. He tells her everything that he won't tell me, but she tells me as soon as he even talks to her. I don't believe a single thing that he has to say to me, but I still care for him like an idiot.


This makes me sense really, but what should I do? He's said hurtful things that I will NEVER forget and he expects me to just up and be happy towards him like I can. He hates how I'm being cold to him, but I believe that I have every right to.

What do you think that I should do?

 

[Lashuri Chan]

I don't know how long you have known him before you dated but in all honestly when you add it up, you two only dated for like two and a half weeks and telling someone to drop dead is not as bad as it sounds. Bluntly i think you should get over it because dating wise I mean it was nothing really and it sounds like he is either playing mind games with you or just doesn't know what and who he wants. And if you don't want to hear any updates about him or what he is saying then tell your friend to telling you.

 

[Hotau]

I think you deserve a better guy neutral  

[Jin-is-supreme]

the guy is an absolute mess, within a few weeks you saw an obscene amount of flip flopping and worrying behavior. That is a kind of dude to romantically avoid D:  

[IbukiHoshi]

little aishi chan

I don't know how long you have known him before you dated but in all honestly when you add it up, you two only dated for like two and a half weeks and telling someone to drop dead is not as bad as it sounds. Bluntly i think you should get over it because dating wise I mean it was nothing really and it sounds like he is either playing mind games with you or just doesn't know what and who he wants. And if you don't want to hear any updates about him or what he is saying then tell your friend to telling you.

At this point, I feel very empty so I'm playing mind games with him. Sure it hasn't been a long time, but I ended up connecting with him faster than I expected.


Basically, while I sit here and try to blow it off as something that shouldn't concern me because we only dated for nearly 3 weeks but have known him for about 3 months, I care about him more than I think because when I like someone I don't lie about it. If I like you, I like you. I can't really help that.

 

[Lashuri Chan]

x-Hoshi Kokoro-x

little aishi chan

I don't know how long you have known him before you dated but in all honestly when you add it up, you two only dated for like two and a half weeks and telling someone to drop dead is not as bad as it sounds. Bluntly i think you should get over it because dating wise I mean it was nothing really and it sounds like he is either playing mind games with you or just doesn't know what and who he wants. And if you don't want to hear any updates about him or what he is saying then tell your friend to telling you.

At this point, I feel very empty so I'm playing mind games with him. Sure it hasn't been a long time, but I ended up connecting with him faster than I expected.


Basically, while I sit here and try to blow it off as something that shouldn't concern me because we only dated for nearly 3 weeks but have known him for about 3 months, I care about him more than I think because when I like someone I don't lie about it. If I like you, I like you. I can't really help that.

Then stop playing mind games and go talk to him if you're calm. Honestly you're not helping the situation if you are just ignoring him just be playing games.

 

[IbukiHoshi]

little aishi chan

Then stop playing mind games and go talk to him if you're calm. Honestly you're not helping the situation if you are just ignoring him just be playing games.

I have tried plenty of times. He claims that he understands, only to go back to what he knows is wrong. I'm sitting right because my best friend while he sits here and complains about me, where as I am doing my best to calmly talk to him...AGAIN.

 

[Fatelin]

x-Hoshi Kokoro-x

little aishi chan

Then stop playing mind games and go talk to him if you're calm. Honestly you're not helping the situation if you are just ignoring him just be playing games.

I have tried plenty of times. He claims that he understands, only to go back to what he knows is wrong. I'm sitting right because my best friend while he sits here and complains about me, where as I am doing my best to calmly talk to him...AGAIN.

Sometimes men say they understand when they are either not listening or they do not in fact understand. I make my fiance repeat what I tell him because of this. It can be annoying to both parties, but sometimes you have to do that. Other times they say they understand just to stop the fighting or tense atmosphere around them.

If he is willing to try and be just a friend for a while I would push that on him rather he likes it or not. Before you two could be together as one he would have to give up HER all together. No going back. If he declined, then say you can only be a friend if that.

There are the options, hun. I don't know what else could help. Sometimes people cannot be helped no matter what you try.  

[Marnomy]

ll-Frantic-ll

Honestly, this guy doesn't really seem worth it. You have only known him for three months and have only been a couple for less than three weeks total.

How old are the two of you? If you're still young that could play into this as well. My guess would be that he isn't over his ex and is either messing around with her (the whole being drunk and 'sleeping in the bed beside her' for an hour or so then returning to you) and coming to you on the down time or trying to get back with her and running to you when she turns him down. Either way, from what you've said, he is showing no consistency at all and isn't really showing any interest in putting effort into a relationship with you.

I would just cut my losses, cut contact with him (at least until you're over him) and work on moving on. Playing games doesn't help anyone.

thissss. this this this.

so, yeah. this guy is a mess and obviously isn't over his ex.

all his whiny/negative/moody/bipolar/aggressive/weird/a*****e-ish behavior is really taking a toll on you, girl. i'm exhausted just thinking about this guy.

cut contact with him until he has his s**t straightened out.

if i were you, in all honesty, i wouldn't want this guy in my life—friend or otherwise. he sounds like a psychotic douchebag with anger issues for telling you to drop dead.