I feel like he isn't even trying to get a job...

[Silver Koneko]

Subliminal Aftermath

Unless you have a kid with him or you are married or something then he does not have to go out and get a job to support you and your mother if he doesn't even live with you.

Why are you forcing him to get a job if you don't even live together, if you want him to help provide then have him move in or something.
But forcing him to help with finances even though he doesn't live there is well just a b***h thing do.

He doesn't use your utilities, eat your food, or piggy back on anything else.
He shouldn't have to pay for stuff he doesn't use.

Why cant your mother go work?
why cant you go get a second job if you are worried about finances?
Maybe you should make a better budget and cut out stuff you don't need to save money, you can also try to clip out coupons for groceries to save some money, you can also save your soda cans and recycle them to get extra cash too.

I'm not forcing him to get a job, I don't want him to support me. Excuse me. I can support myself. I'm a very independent woman however I'd like it if he'd pull his own weight to pay for dates. I'm not the type of woman to expect a man to pay for every single date. If we go to the movies, one buys the tickets, the other the drinks and snacks. And I don't recall ever saying I want him to get a job so I can spend his cash, and for him to spend all his money on myself. I always think of others before I spend on myself. I haven't gotten new clothes in 5 years, I wear hand-me-downs because I buy new things for others all the time. I save my soda cans and recycle them and I'm sorry, my mother is disabled. She can't work. I can't get a second job because I have a full plate, I work 19 1/2 hours and have school 12 hours a week, top that with trying to maintain a romantic relationship, deal with all these animals, take care of a house on my own, take care of my disabled mother... I have enough on my plate and I'd appreciate it if you would be a little more considerate with your posts.  

[Silver Koneko]

little aishi chan

I don't get it. If you two are not living together why are you acting like you're running a household by yourself? It's not like you're coming home to a lazy boyfriend. He lives two hours away.

Because I do run a household by myself. It's only me and my mom and our animals. She's sick. She can't get out of bed most days because she's so sick.  

[Silver Koneko]

The Maharani

Well... I'm nowhere near your situation currently but I know how much college takes out of you, cash-wise and energy-wise. My advice: complain a lot! Now, not the kind where you shout and whine at him about how he's not doing anything. More like simple sighs and comments about how tough taking care of -fill in the blank- was today. And don't do it too often or you'll get caught. But hopefully he'll feel some remorse about procrastinating and want to give you some support. Tell him to keep you posted on the job searching, so you know what's going on, even if you can't meet him so easily.

P.S. She is running the house by herself. Her mom is sick and boyfriend is miles away. But you've got this Koneko-chan! Women are fierce, unstoppable creatures =P

Ohhhhhhhhhh wait you were talking about me in the P.S. message XD Derp de derp!  

[Lashuri Chan]

Silver Koneko

little aishi chan

I don't get it. If you two are not living together why are you acting like you're running a household by yourself? It's not like you're coming home to a lazy boyfriend. He lives two hours away.

Because I do run a household by myself. It's only me and my mom and our animals. She's sick. She can't get out of bed most days because she's so sick.

Right so why are you worried about what your boyfriend, who doesn't even live with you, why are you worrying over what he is not doing? If you had plans to move in together then I could get why you would be concerned but he doesn't so I don't think what he is and isn't doing is your business. You clearly have enough to deal with and worry about so why add on to when you can't even control what he does anyways?

 

[Silver Koneko]

little aishi chan

Silver Koneko

little aishi chan

I don't get it. If you two are not living together why are you acting like you're running a household by yourself? It's not like you're coming home to a lazy boyfriend. He lives two hours away.

Because I do run a household by myself. It's only me and my mom and our animals. She's sick. She can't get out of bed most days because she's so sick.

Right so why are you worried about what your boyfriend, who doesn't even live with you, why are you worrying over what he is not doing? If you had plans to move in together then I could get why you would be concerned but he doesn't so I don't think what is and isn't doing is your business You clearly have enough to deal with and worry about so why add on to when you can't even control what he does anyways?

Because I don't want to be in a relationship with a deadbeat boyfriend who I have to support? Who I have to pay for everything? I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm taken advantage of because I'm working and he's not so I have to pay for everything? That's why. Because if he's not motivated to grow up and get a job and live life, we don't have a future together because how can I expect him to be committed to an adult relationship if all he wants to do is be a child and play video games all day and have no responsibility at all?  

[Lashuri Chan]

Silver Koneko

little aishi chan

Silver Koneko

little aishi chan

I don't get it. If you two are not living together why are you acting like you're running a household by yourself? It's not like you're coming home to a lazy boyfriend. He lives two hours away.

Because I do run a household by myself. It's only me and my mom and our animals. She's sick. She can't get out of bed most days because she's so sick.

Right so why are you worried about what your boyfriend, who doesn't even live with you, why are you worrying over what he is not doing? If you had plans to move in together then I could get why you would be concerned but he doesn't so I don't think what is and isn't doing is your business You clearly have enough to deal with and worry about so why add on to when you can't even control what he does anyways?

Because I don't want to be in a relationship with a deadbeat boyfriend who I have to support? Who I have to pay for everything? I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm taken advantage of because I'm working and he's not so I have to pay for everything? That's why. Because if he's not motivated to grow up and get a job and live life, we don't have a future together because how can I expect him to be committed to an adult relationship if all he wants to do is be a child and play video games all day and have no responsibility at all?

I get that, but really since you have a full plate right now, worry about that when you two get to the moving in together stage of your relationship. It does not sound like you both are any close or ready to move out so stop stressing over it. When your mom gets better and you are able to just focus on school and work and you know just pay for you then worry about it. But if you are paying for everything in your house right now such as bills, food, things for your mom and pet food and pet care, who cares what he is doing. Who cares if he doesn't have a job right now , it's not like you are in any position to move out. And if you know he has no motivation, you might as well just break up with him right now. That would take a boat load of stress off of you.

 

[Silver Koneko]

little aishi chan

Silver Koneko

little aishi chan

Silver Koneko

little aishi chan

I don't get it. If you two are not living together why are you acting like you're running a household by yourself? It's not like you're coming home to a lazy boyfriend. He lives two hours away.

Because I do run a household by myself. It's only me and my mom and our animals. She's sick. She can't get out of bed most days because she's so sick.

Right so why are you worried about what your boyfriend, who doesn't even live with you, why are you worrying over what he is not doing? If you had plans to move in together then I could get why you would be concerned but he doesn't so I don't think what is and isn't doing is your business You clearly have enough to deal with and worry about so why add on to when you can't even control what he does anyways?

Because I don't want to be in a relationship with a deadbeat boyfriend who I have to support? Who I have to pay for everything? I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm taken advantage of because I'm working and he's not so I have to pay for everything? That's why. Because if he's not motivated to grow up and get a job and live life, we don't have a future together because how can I expect him to be committed to an adult relationship if all he wants to do is be a child and play video games all day and have no responsibility at all?

I get that, but really since you have a full plate right now, worry about that when you two get to the moving in together stage of your relationship. It does not sound like you both are any close or ready to move out so stop stressing over it. When your mom gets better and you are able to just focus on school and work and you know just pay for you then worry about it. But if you are paying for everything in your house right now such as bills, food, things for your mom and pet food and pet care, who cares what he is doing. Who cares if he doesn't have a job right now , it's not like you are in any position to move out. And if you know he has no motivation, you might as well just break up with him right now. That would take a boat load of stress off of you.

Yeah you're right. I need to just sit back and stop worrying so much. Thanks