I guess I sorta might need advice? Idk

[Fuit Gummy]

Just for the record, I really hate asking
for ANY type of advice or help online =.= So meh.

Anyways, this school year, I signed up for the Pheonix Program. That's where
you go to school once a week, to get your work. You work all week on the
assignment and take a test on whatever day you signed up for to go to school
on.

Well, I joined it because I have serious issues with people. I have a long
story that I'm not gonna share, but I've become VERY independent. I don't
need people around, I like being alone, ect.

This is the first week I've been on Pheonix. I've had my work for 2 days
(not counting the weekend) and I'm already done. This has left me extremely
bored. So, after I'm done working, I text/call/kik/vibe/IM people all day.

Since I'm normally independent, I've been fine all summer and over the
weekend and all... But lately, I've been extremely lonely. Even while talking to
people all day, I end up feeling horrible. I mean, I have severe depression and
I'm used to a lonely feeling, but this is different.

I can't exactly explain it. It's like, no matter how many people I surround
myself with, I still feel alone. The past few days, I've ended up crying in my
room because I can't shake the loneliness. As much as I don't want to admit
it, it's been pulling me back into some old habits. Drinking habits.

[I'm 17]

I'm not looking for any "buddies", I can assure you that. I don't really know
what I'm asking for.

I guess I just want to know, how do I deal with this feeling without drinking
myself numb?

If this helps anyone analyze this better, I also can't stand being outside my
house. Too many people, you see.

........ I don't know what's wrong with me, sorry for making this really long too.

 

[Cinnabun Gryffie]

Hi, Hunny. I'm going to give the best not-vice I can think of, and you probably won't like it. Try and stop drinking? I often feel lonely, even if I'm surrounded by people too, and I tried drinking. It is not a viable option. All sorts of bad things happened, and now, I've become somewhat of a social leper. I don't like people, and in fact, they freak me out. I know you don't want a "buddy" but, I can be your friend. If you want. I've been through a lot in my life, and I don't want the same happening to you.  

[Fuit Gummy]

MissMoony13

I guess, if you're not joshing me, then it sounds like we can relate.

 

[Cinnabun Gryffie]

I wouldn't lie about things like this. I really do care about you, and I am glad you were brave enough to post this on-line. If you *ever* need to talk, I'll be there.