identity issues?

[Noatakk]

i've had a few boyfriends and i've had a few girlfriends, but i've never really felt comfortable doing anything beyond kissing and cuddling with any of them. even just the thought of having sex makes me feel almost physically ill. i've done a bit of research and have come to the conclusion that i would be most easily sorted into the asexual category, but there are a bunch of people who say that aces don't exist/aren't a legitimate orientation. help?  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

A lot of people say that bisexual isn't a real orientation too. If asexual is what you are comfortable with then that's what you are. Personally I dislike the labels but the world demands them for some reason. My best advice would be just to live your life one day at a time and if people dislike you for what you are or aren't you don't need them in your life (not that anyone has said anything to you that I know of thus far...just saying).

Me, I find it hard for me to label myself...I fall in love with people based on personality not genders...I used to think I was bisexual but now I am fairly certain I am pansexual. I don't feel a whole lot of attraction sexually to males though...sexually I'm more attracted to women...odd isn't it? Nothing in the world is black and white.

I'm not sure what you could be other than asexual honestly as far as labels go. I wish I could give you better answers.

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

Noatakk

i've had a few boyfriends and i've had a few girlfriends, but i've never really felt comfortable doing anything beyond kissing and cuddling with any of them. even just the thought of having sex makes me feel almost physically ill. i've done a bit of research and have come to the conclusion that i would be most easily sorted into the asexual category, but there are a bunch of people who say that aces don't exist/aren't a legitimate orientation. help?

Sure they do! You're not the only one I've heard of.

By the way, asexual does not mean a-romantic. There's more to love than boinking, which some people seem to forget.  

[Noatakk]

RainbowPop26

A lot of people say that bisexual isn't a real orientation too. If asexual is what you are comfortable with then that's what you are. Personally I dislike the labels but the world demands them for some reason. My best advice would be just to live your life one day at a time and if people dislike you for what you are or aren't you don't need them in your life (not that anyone has said anything to you that I know of thus far...just saying).

Me, I find it hard for me to label myself...I fall in love with people based on personality not genders...I used to think I was bisexual but now I am fairly certain I am pansexual. I don't feel a whole lot of attraction sexually to males though...sexually I'm more attracted to women...odd isn't it? Nothing in the world is black and white.

i'm a very structured person, so, unfortunately, social labels are what make me comfortable.

but i'm talking about sexual orientations, not romantic orientations. if you're more sexually attracted to women then you would be a homosexual, but if you're romantically attracted to all genders (male, female, trans* and genderqueer included) you would be considered panromantic.

for example, i'd consider myself to be asexual and panromantic. i don't experience sexual attraction to any gender, but at the same time i can be romantically attracted to a person, regardless of identity.  

[Noatakk]

Gigi Deveraux

Sure they do! You're not the only one I've heard of.

By the way, asexual does not mean a-romantic. There's more to love than boinking, which some people seem to forget.

that's a bit of a relief. i've just ever met any openly asexual people, so i was kind of shaky.

i'm aware; i'm already comfortable with myself as panromantic. my upbringing was always very clear to draw the line between sex and love, so i've never really been confused on that front.  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Noatakk

RainbowPop26

A lot of people say that bisexual isn't a real orientation too. If asexual is what you are comfortable with then that's what you are. Personally I dislike the labels but the world demands them for some reason. My best advice would be just to live your life one day at a time and if people dislike you for what you are or aren't you don't need them in your life (not that anyone has said anything to you that I know of thus far...just saying).

Me, I find it hard for me to label myself...I fall in love with people based on personality not genders...I used to think I was bisexual but now I am fairly certain I am pansexual. I don't feel a whole lot of attraction sexually to males though...sexually I'm more attracted to women...odd isn't it? Nothing in the world is black and white.

i'm a very structured person, so, unfortunately, social labels are what make me comfortable.

but i'm talking about sexual orientations, not romantic orientations. if you're more sexually attracted to women then you would be a homosexual, but if you're romantically attracted to all genders (male, female, trans* and genderqueer included) you would be considered panromantic.

for example, i'd consider myself to be asexual and panromantic. i don't experience sexual attraction to any gender, but at the same time i can be romantically attracted to a person, regardless of identity.

Aw I'm sorry.

You do have a point and its a good one.

Just saying don't let asexual naysayers get you down... if you are comfortable with your labels then that's what you are. heart  

[Mistress of The Fae]

Noatakk

Both asexuality and bisexuality are legitimate sexual orientations, so don't worry. I've heard of several asexual people, and a close friend of mine is. Love doesn't equal sex. Whoever says asexuals don't exist are ignorant, in my opinion. Honestly? I don't believe in labels. I'd say I'm bisexual, but it's much more complicated than that, like RainbowPop26 said. You love who you love and that's all that matters.

Try not to focus on what others say, since you are who you are. As long as you accept yourself.

 

[loonaboots]

Well, then they obviously haven't met me. I've never once felt sexual attraction towards anyone, and I'm not thinking that's about to change. Oh, and a favorite question of mine is the "you haven't had sex; you can't be sure!"

Uh, huh, because you totally need to have sex to know your sexual orientation.

 

[Alice Kensington]

Gigi Deveraux

Noatakk

i've had a few boyfriends and i've had a few girlfriends, but i've never really felt comfortable doing anything beyond kissing and cuddling with any of them. even just the thought of having sex makes me feel almost physically ill. i've done a bit of research and have come to the conclusion that i would be most easily sorted into the asexual category, but there are a bunch of people who say that aces don't exist/aren't a legitimate orientation. help?

Sure they do! You're not the only one I've heard of.

By the way, asexual does not mean a-romantic. There's more to love than boinking, which some people seem to forget.

I'm gonna use that as my new motto: "There's more to love than Boinking."