How to stay close with a parent through the 'teenage phase'?

[Cherry-x-Sorbet]

You see, my parents have been divorced basically my whole life, and I've always lived with my father. I've never minded at all, I still don't since I'm not that close to my mother. My dad and I used to get along as well as any parent and child, until I became a teenager. Yes, I know how cliché that sounds, but it's true.

At first I didn't even notice; we just had simple spats that always happened because we're both incrediably thick-headed and stubborn. But over time, the amount of arguments became larger and very intense. Now, at age seventeen, we argue every single day. We just finished yelling at each other for this day, hence why I finally decided to sit here and tell you girls...because I hate how much I've drifted from my dad.

So my question is this:
How do you manage to stay close to your parents?
Are there any little things you do to calm down when you're upset?

 

[Zelda Faye]

You are a growing girl, your dad has not experienced a teenage girl in his life until now is what I am suspecting.
It is hard for dads and daughters to get along during this stage of teenage life because neither of you two are the same any longer.
You are now interested in boys/(or/and girls) you are changing rapidly, physically and mentally. You aren't his little baby any more, you are a young woman. And that is very hard for dads to take on.
You just have to be patient with him and breathe.
If you want you can go on outings with him, do stuff he likes. But also try your best to ease him into what you like as well ( thats if he wants to).
But just breathe, you two will grow out of it together. ♥~  

[tai-lerr--x]

It may not just be you, people change, everyone changes. Start talking about other things, avoid topics that might flare up into arguments. Maybe reminisce together on a long car ride home. Go to a game or even just out for ice cream or something. Im sure this isnt one sided and that he would like to mend the relationship too.  

[jiniistrawberii]

Hmm... well, what you could do is for you to take the initiative to not start arguing with him. In all essence, he's a lot older than you, so it's quite disrespectful (in his eyes) for you to yell back at him. Also, he's just worried about you. Teenage years are the days when we are curious about everything, and he's just probably worried that something might happen to you. This is a good thing, but at times, it could block his vision and prevent you from actually learning things. But he doesn't see that, all he sees is you and your safety. So it's up to you to take the initiative of understanding him.

You could start by moving away when you feel that an argument is coming by. Avoid shouting at him at all costs. He sees this as some sort of rebellion on your side, that you won't listen to him. Cool off your head before facing him again, that way, you won't be tempted to shout at him. If he says "I'm not finished with you yet" or something along that line, you could face him and say "I'm going to cool off for a sec". Then he might see that you are willing to listen to him and not just force him to understand your position by having a shouting match with him.

You could also try to do give little presents and stuffs, to show how much you appreciate him. Or small talks, it never hurts to try start the day by saying "Hi Dad" or "Morning Dad". It's not an overnight process. Mastering you're temper's particularly hard, but I know that if you're determined to keep your relationship with him, then you'll be able to do it.

Hope this helps! Good luck~!

 

[Cherry-x-Sorbet]

Youseis fiery heart

I actually have an older sister, but she is much quieter, basically the opposite of me. I understand where new things are occuring with me, and I will do my best to do more things with him. I think you're right, and that we should try to do more thing together. Thank you~<3

X-tailerr-X

I offered to help him cook dinner tonight, after reading your post. He accepted, and I'm hopeful that it'll go well~ Thanks!<3

Louisa Iris

In my timezone, you posted this at 6:44 am, and I read it by seven. My dad and I got into an argument at 7:10, and I did just what you said. Instead of getting defensive, I sat down and watched the morning news. It worked so well. When we started talking again, he was calm, too.
So yes, it helped! <3

Thank you girls so much for taking the time to help me (:

 

[Vessel of Eve]

I'm glad it's going well because it's kinda like that for me my parents are going through a divorce in my teenage years T-T I hate it because it's extra hard because I have autism and I don't like my moms boyfriend anymore  

[jiniistrawberii]

Cherry Ki

In my timezone, you posted this at 6:44 am, and I read it by seven. My dad and I got into an argument at 7:10, and I did just what you said. Instead of getting defensive, I sat down and watched the morning news. It worked so well. When we started talking again, he was calm, too.
So yes, it helped! <3

I'm glad I could be of help, and in time too smile Good luck!!

 

[vxrs]

I'm not close to my parents at all. I prefer keeping myself away from them and not speaking to them; they barely know me in the inside and I thinkt hat is just fine. It's just a thing that happened over time and maybe that's just life. The whole concept of life and growing up makes my dad really sad though, who knows about my mom?
When I go be myself elsewhere, I may listen to loud rock music or cry angry tears but my thoughts get really messed up.

 

[Forever_Rose09]

What happens sometimes is that people mature at different speeds. Now that you're a teenager, you may have drifted from your dad because he hasn't come to accept the changes you've made as you've grown up. Like Youseis said, you're not his little girl anymore, and often parents aren't ready to take that in. But give him some time and don't push things too far. As you guys talk more about simple things and spend a little time together, I'm sure he'll come to accept what you are now. emotion_hug  

[yuko the space time witch]

Cherry Ki

You see, my parents have been divorced basically my whole life, and I've always lived with my father. I've never minded at all, I still don't since I'm not that close to my mother. My dad and I used to get along as well as any parent and child, until I became a teenager. Yes, I know how cliché that sounds, but it's true.

At first I didn't even notice; we just had simple spats that always happened because we're both incrediably thick-headed and stubborn. But over time, the amount of arguments became larger and very intense. Now, at age seventeen, we argue every single day. We just finished yelling at each other for this day, hence why I finally decided to sit here and tell you girls...because I hate how much I've drifted from my dad.

So my question is this:
How do you manage to stay close to your parents?
Are there any little things you do to calm down when you're upset?

I would start off by letting your dad know how much you care for him. Single parents have to give up alot in order to take care of their kids. If your dad didn't love you with his whole being then you probally wouldn't be there with him... I would try to say thank you every night. thanks for letting me live in this house with you. thanks for dinner, thanks for buying me this or that... thanks for loving me. Things like this help builid your relationship. I would then try and do nice things for your dad that will help him. If you can make him something he would like that. Ask for his help with things too or ask him to teach you things. That will give you good time together.