Thread Denier, Yellowblood [crits plz]

[Ravvlet]

Name: Thread Denier

Thread - Thread is a cotton yarn measure, equal to 54 inches. This is also Denier's height. 
Denier = unit of measure for the linear mass density of fibers 


Blood colour: Yellowblood 

Gender: Male 

Symbol: A threaded needle 

Personality: 
Your name is THREAD. The first thing others notice about you is your extremely LONG, well groomed HAIR. You are very METICULOUS and PRECISE, and the fastidiousness of your person is only the tip of the iceberg. Your belongings are CATEGORICALLY ORGANIZED, and your modest hive is filled with NOTES and DIARIES. 

This is largely because you have a POOR MEMORY but an aptitude for EXTREME ATTENTION TO DETAIL, and as such find it difficult to RELATE to OTHERS. You are surprisingly NON CONFRONTATIONAL, except in extreme circumstances. You believe in INDOCTRINATION and REEDUCATION over VIOLENCE. You find SOLACE in your power - the ability to COMMUNICATE with ARTICLES OF CLOTHING. You in particular have the ability to command BITS OF STRING. You identify with the plight of LOST SOCKS, a sign that your spirit is truly one with the ONCE and FUTURE SOCK. You are often caught PILFERING UNDERGARMENTS to feed your lucus. This has not made you very POPULAR with your PEERS. Some go so far as to call you a PANTY RAIDER.

You have a variety of INTERESTS. You are LEFT HANDED, and also an EXTREME LEFTIST. You believe LEFT is RIGHT, and you secretly wonder if the rest of society feels the same. All of your socks are left only. Others wonder how you know this, but you do not QUESTION knowledge granted by the O&FS. 

Strengths: 
Organized -  Thread loves order. He alphabetizes his items, both in his hive and his own personal inventory, catalogs EVERYTHING in notebooks and also keeps track of even the most mundane daily events in his diary. Yes, he has a poop journal. No, you may not read it. His hive isn't bare - it's actually filled to the max with all of his books and posessions - but is arranged incredibly militantly. This severe attitude with his possessions carries over to his personal appearance - no hair is ever allowed out of place. He is known to spend hours each morning talking wrinkles out of his clothes. (No, that wasn't a typo. He talks to them. He woos them into submission - or bores, whatever works better). Each day is thoroughly planned out, and scheduled down to the second. Disorganization is the enemy of the progressive mind, in his not so humble opinion. Perhaps its a result of his lowblood caste - he cannot control his destiny, but he can control himself. Whatever the reason for his structured lifestyle, it is readily apparent in everything about him. It can be incredibly useful - especially if you've got a lot of things that need to go in not a lot of space, but you still want to be able to find them later.

Precise -  Thread is never late, nor early; he arrives exactly when he means to. Perhaps as a result of his extreme organizing skills, Thread Denier is nothing if not accurate. His extensive notes and diaries on his personal activities have allowed him to schedule his life down to the last second. After all, he only has so much time before his (timely) demise. It would be in his favor to be properly equipped when that day comes. What that entails exactly, he isn't really certain, but it would not do to be late, surely. He is also capable of making astute leaps in logic or reason thanks to his finely honed observational skills. Sometimes his ability can be disconcerting, but generally it merely makes him rather handy to have around, especially in times of crisis. He is reliable, accurate, and a font of often bizarre information.

Non-Confrontational - Thread is neither a lover nor a fighter. He is generally too concerned with forwarding his own agenda to get into petty squabbles - after all, there are not many trolls left in Alternia. Waste not, want not. No, he prefers indoctrination or reeducation attempts over brute force and violence. He finds conflict rather vulgar - why not subvert someone's will or reasoning by the power of your words? Also, he's kind of a wuss, and personal injury really puts a dent in his plans. Thread hates ruined plans. So, rather than pick a fight, or disagree with someone outright, he is likely to bide his time and worry away at an opponent. In short, this means he is unlikely to be agressive or overly forward. He's the type of guy who would 'agree to disagree'.

Flaws: 
Hyper-focused -  For someone as inanely organized and precise, Thread has a surprisingly poor memory. This is because he has an extremely developed ability to put attention to detail, but often finds himself disconnected or out of touch with reality. His mind operates in an incredibly dissociative fashion - he may remember a person, or events - but catalogs them separately and has trouble putting them together. He obsessively keeps journals and notes in order to combat this, and depends on them as reference material. Conversing with him can often be awkward - as any random topic can cause him to sort through his notes for a relevant point of interest. He doesn't seem to realize that this is odd, or that he often concentrates his attention on mundane or unimportant facts. To Thread, all data is sacred.

Extremist -  Thread is obsessively precise, and banally organized. His hyperfocus often drives these traits into the ground, but it also causes him to be zealous about his beliefs and philosophies. For example, Thread is left handed. Normally this would have only minimal impact on a person, but because of the way Thread's mind functions, it has become a sort of religion - everything in his hive is left-oriented, his outfit is often asymmetrically leftist, and his personal mantra is 'Left is Right'. He takes everything to the extreme, whether it is his devotion to the observation of everyday events or his ability to plan ahead. It often makes him appear off balance, and he has a difficult time dealing with others whose personalities are more lax or 'come as you are'.

Eccentric -  This troll is a strange bird. Well, not literally, but you get what I mean. All his little personality quirks have added up to one extremely strange and convoluted dude. This flaw is sort of the end result of all of his strengths and weaknesses thrown into one big blender. It results in a lot of odd behavior - Thread always parts his hair to the left. Thread always walks on the lefthand side of things. Thread only takes left turns. Thread is put extremely ill at ease if he is EVER late OR early. And Queen FORBID you show up unsolicited. His reliance on pre-prepared fact and reference sheets when interacting with others is just another tick that often makes him seem like a big weirdo. I mean, what on Alteria is leftism anyway? It is probably for the best that the fellow is mostly harmless.

Weapon: NEEDLEKIND - Two large knitting hooks, attached by a piece of yarn between them. Pokey curvy metal stabby nunchucks. 

Appearance: 
Hair, but parted so that the majority falls on the left side of his face. His outfit should be asymetrical and as left-oriented as possible.  His horns are shaped like a pair of hooked weaving needles. One with a full curve, one with just the hook tip, if asymmetry is allowed.

Home: Desert 

Lusus: Mothdog, aka Rover.

Power: Can communicate telepathically with clothing, supposedly. Can walk a mile in your shoes metaphorically. Identifies particularly with lost socks. Can control string, yarn and thread telekinetically. However, it is imprecise and not particularly useful.  

[Ravvlet]

moar lusus



MOTHDOG, or MOTHDAD, is a strange, six-legged fluzzy mothlike dog creature. He is DEVOTED and KIND. He subsists on a STRICT DIET of UNDERGARMENTS. This has not made Thread very POPULAR with the LADIES.  

[Ravvlet]

opan 4 crits  

[Galaxa13]

First off, are you being serious with his power to talk to clothes? If not then you should make a note that it's all in his head. If it's a real power then I suggest making it not real because powered trolls will be via event only and (sorry to say) that power seems really ridiculous. You also mention he can telekinetically control thread/yarn/sting. Again, is this a real power? While not as outlandish as the other one I still doubt you'd be getting a powered troll anytime soon. Then there's also the diet of his lusus. I understand that moths eat clothing, but why must it be undergarments specifically? Yes, yes, it makes for a funny PANTY RAIDER joke, but couldn't it be just as happy eating a sweater? (I'm also curious that if his power of communing with clothes is real doesn't he feel guilty feeding clothes to his lusus? Even if it's just in his head wouldn't he feel bad?)

His two strengths of precision and organization seem to be the same thing, they both seem to highlight obsessiveness. You have extremism listed as a flaw, which included his obsessiveness, but the strengths seem to just validate this flaw. I would put them together as one strength and highlight more on how it would make him likable, rather than annoying and somewhat creepy. Since he takes so many notes does he have information he can share with others when they are in need? Is he able to help someone else organize things if they are having problems? His current trait of precision, I have already said, should be combined with his organization, but how you have some of it worded it sounds more like he's punctual. If someone invites him someplace it would appear that he will always arrive right on the dot and never disappoint, but then that brings up the question: What would happen if he was ever late to something or was unable to be somewhere? You say he is ill at ease, but what exactly would he do? Would he freak out? Apologize profusely? Act like it never happened and be in denial?

All in all he sounds like an interesting troll, but you need to work on his strengths and show us why these things would make others like him. There is also the powers stuff, but I've said all that needs to be said about that, I think.

P.S. Mothdog is adorable.  

[Ravvlet]

Galaxa13

Quote:

First off, are you being serious with his power to talk to clothes? If not then you should make a note that it's all in his head. If it's a real power then I suggest making it not real because powered trolls will be via event only and (sorry to say) that power seems really ridiculous. You also mention he can telekinetically control thread/yarn/sting. Again, is this a real power? While not as outlandish as the other one I still doubt you'd be getting a powered troll anytime soon. Then there's also the diet of his lusus. I understand that moths eat clothing, but why must it be undergarments specifically? Yes, yes, it makes for a funny PANTY RAIDER joke, but couldn't it be just as happy eating a sweater? (I'm also curious that if his power of communing with clothes is real doesn't he feel guilty feeding clothes to his lusus? Even if it's just in his head wouldn't he feel bad?)

YEP TOTALLY SERIOUS, but no, I was serious that it's his power; but it's not a SERIOUS power.

I'm sorry, was there some point I indicated that talking to clothing was supposed to be taken seriously? XD If so I humbly apologize for being so incredibly cruel and misleading. I'm also, for the record, not that stupid.

It's supposed to be ridiculous. It's supposed to also be functionally useless and underpowered, because I was under the impression that generally telepathy and telekensis were grossly OVER-powered and there was a note in the character creation about 'OP' powers. 

Besides, it made me laugh. He can talk his clothes into being unwrinkly. He can soothe his shoelaces into the perfect double knot.

In regard to feeding his lusus....He can talk to them, but that doesn't make them not just clothing. I mean, if he felt so strongly about them I'd think he wouldn't wear them at all. He talks to them to tell them to straighten out, or fold themselves, or any other number of mundane things that would be utterly useless. They're not his *friends*. For the lusus -maybe Thread just doesn't like underwear. And on that note- why does a MOTHDOG do anything? Who the hell knows, it's not a real thing. It eats undergarments because that's its natural diet. Yep. It evolved that way. The uh, metal underwire in a bra provides the kind of key nutrients it needs, balanced with the lace and obviously silk and occasionally heart or polka dot patterns (although we ALL know polka dots are just so fattening).

Quote:

His two strengths of precision and organization seem to be the same thing, they both seem to highlight obsessiveness.

or·gan·i·za·tion - the act or process of organizing, the state or manner of being organized; something that is organized.

pre·ci·sion -The state or quality of being precise; exactness.

I would like to argue that PRECISE and ORGANIZED are *similar*, but not exactly the same quality. A marksman can be precise, but disorganized. A cook could be organized, but imprecise. I can shift the focus of these traits to better exemplify each trait more specifically - i.e., focus on how his organization is positive, because he can easily find things and has a nice record of everything.

I think his preciseness already expresses some positivity? I mean, timeliness is DEFINITELY a virtue, as well as accuracy, and it describes both.

And they do highlight a degree of 'obsessiveness', which I chose to refer to as 'hyperfocus'. He's not OCD, he just has an incredible sense of attention to detail, and it often hinders him from seeing the bigger picture.

Quote:

You have extremism listed as a flaw, which included his obsessiveness, but the strengths seem to just validate this flaw. I would put them together as one strength and highlight more on how it would make him likable, rather than annoying and somewhat creepy.

I'm not quite sure where there is a problem with the strengths validating the flaw? Yes, they're related? Organization and precision are inarguably virtues. His flaw is that he sometimes can take these virtues too far. In fact, he tends to take most everything too far.

He's supposed to be kind of annoying and creepy. His strengths make him, I would hazard a guess, LIKEABLE to some people because he doesn't pick fights and is reliable, and also a font of really bizarre information. His flaws add a big BUT to that statement; he's reliable and has a gamut of resources at his command, but he's a little creepy and annoying.

Quote:

Since he takes so many notes does he have information he can share with others when they are in need? Is he able to help someone else organize things if they are having problems?

Yes? That's why they're virtues? If you're suggesting I add that in there then fine, which would have been a little difficult if I'd taken your advice and got rid of them completely - which brings me to my next point.

Quote:

His current trait of precision, I have already said, should be combined with his organization, but how you have some of it worded it sounds more like he's punctual. If someone invites him someplace it would appear that he will always arrive right on the dot and never disappoint, but then that brings up the question: What would happen if he was ever late to something or was unable to be somewhere? You say he is ill at ease, but what exactly would he do? Would he freak out? Apologize profusely? Act like it never happened and be in denial?

Precision and organization are not the same thing, although they /are/ related. I mean, he's one person, not five. I was under the impression that ALL of his flaws and virtues should be related in some way to form a cohesive whole.

"Thread is put extremely ill at ease if he is EVER late OR early. And Queen FORBID you show up unsolicited. "

It's certainly not impossible for him to be late! As to how he would react - any and all of the above, depending on his mood at the time. Which would doubtlessly be rancorous. I would also like to point out that 'freak out' would include denial and apologizing profusely. However I guess I can afford to be more specific?

Quote:

There is also the powers stuff, but I've said all that needs to be said about that, I think.

I'd have to agree; you told me it was ridiculous, which was the point. So I suppose that came across correctly.

Quote:

P.S. Mothdog is adorable.

Thanks? XD;  

[thyPOPE]

Hi! I think Thread sounds hilarious and adorable adlkjfkjl;s <33 He sounds like a great guy to play against :> ;;

I’m gonna be going from the bottom up.

First off, I like his power concept! It’s pretty unique and I like that it’s a little silly * U* ;; He seems to have an awful lot of powers but since they’re all pretty weak it’s probably going to be okay? I’m not sure if you meant for him to be able to use them in combat, but just in case it might be smart to take a look at this thread o vo! My troll has powers, too, and I was asked to specify which combat style he’d be using and the IC explanation for it before approval, so it probably applies to you, too! I could think of a few ways that control over string/yarn might be applied to those styles, so :> ;; I don’t know if you have to specify if you don’t intend on your troll ever using those powers in combat.

Moths and dogs are both adorable afskl;k;slj

I think eccentric is ordinarily a very good flaw (uh, if you know what I mean 8D ;; ) but it’s not as distinct here from the rest of your flaws as it could be. While it’s great to have strengths and flaws all interlinked, I’m finding it a little difficult to see what exactly separates eccentric from extremist and hyper-focused. I know that they have different definitions, but the vast majority of the traits you mark as eccentric are the same as the ones you mark for extremist, which makes it seem as though he’s eccentric only because he’s an extremist (and, to a lesser extent, because he’s hyper-focused). It might be a good idea to just combine the two and create another flaw. I see a great potential for a flaw in his “non-confrontational” strength – you write that he bides his time and worries away at other trolls, which may be a bit of a problem for him when what he wants is something that’s time-sensitive, or if two trolls don’t want peaceful arbitration and he’s unwilling to stop them. Or alternatively you could just write more about how his eccentricity stands on its own as a flaw.

I really like the hyper-focused flaw, but it might do better to rename it? I get what you’re coming at, but it seems like he’s more easily distracted or data-oriented than hyper-focused (although I’m not sure either of those terms are accurate for this either orz ;; ), especially since you describe it as Thread being disconnected (which isn’t how I’d imagine a hyper-focused person).

I…like his non-confrontational strength, but I think a lot of it sounds like a flaw right now. I think your mentioning that it makes him less likely to be overly aggressive or overly forward is a start, but I’d like to see more explicitly how it helps him to be less aggressive or less forward – what will that get him? It might just be me, but describing him as “kind of a wuss” doesn’t sound like a strength. o vo ;;

His precise and organized flaws are adorable! <3 and I adore his personality blurb, hee > w> Um, I would like to know what he does in his free time, though? 8D ;; He sounds very interesting, but I think he should have at least some excuse to go out and meet other trolls e we Other than, uh, pilfering undergarments, I mean. x3 Also, I’d like to know how he might deal with someone catching him stealing undergarments, considering he’s unconfrontational? <3

I hope this helped a little adkfjljkl;s!  

[Ravvlet]

Thanks!

Yeah, I need to go back over a lot of it but I haven't had the chance yet. Oooh, I didn't see that thread, thank you!

Sorry, I'm at work atm BUT I APPRECIATE THE CRIT I will get to looking at it asap lol.

And I like your suggestions for his flaws. Yeah, eccentric seemed pretty weak but at the time I was like "hnnngghh need 3..."  

[amicableAggressor]

dont have time to give an offishul ful crit, just stopping by to add my two cents re: powers

currently the only way to get a troll with powers is yes, through a special event that says it gives a powered troll. right now we're leaning towards pre-choosing powers, so you'll see ones where it's already been defined (like syusaki's). if you're patient and want to wait though, that's cool too!

also while alternia is an alien planet, it still has a lot of similarities to earth. one similarity is that clothes aren't sentient sad therefore trying to psychically communicate with your socks will probably get you nothing but a whole lot of deep, woolly, and inscrutable silence. if you want your troll to be a bit of a nutter and thinks they can communicate with clothing however, that is completely fine. having telekinesis is totally ok as well, your troll could be better at using it on thread and string, and use a ball of twine or fishing thread in combat to take advantage of that!  

[chiickadee]

ravv when did you start a hivestuck quest
ravv ilu.
emotion_kirakira  

[Ravvlet]

@Amic yeah, that's what I meant~ re: clothing not being sentient.

HI CHI  

[amicableAggressor]

omfg a poop journal emotion_kirakira

first offfff ~ an exact hex code for his blood will be awesome, rather than just 'yellow' as there are so many shades and yes. two handy tools for picking a colour are this site and this image B)

pretty much what i'd say is lots of stuff thypope already covered, -but- a lot of that stuff is not something i'd say you'd need to fix to get in, as he is pretty much up to shop standard. however if you want to make him the bestest troll he can be, rather than just meeting necessary requirements, that is awesome

i can see how non-confrontational would help him in his life, but i also get why it might be taken as something negative. does it solely stem from his desire to solve problems through other ways, or is there any fear of combat? if not, i'd take out the bit about being a wuss, and just go with the bit about him realizing that personal injury is a bother. i think that would empahsize more that he's making an intelligent and rational descision to avoid fights rather than 'eek it scares me', which kind of pushes it towards flaw.

for eccentric, maybe to make it stand out from the other flaws, i'd say emphasizing his whole 'i can talk to clothes. no seriously!' and his difficulty relating to other trolls might make it stand out separate?

finally yeah, all powers need to be translated into something that can be used in combat! if you want some suggestions, i've got a few ideas but i'll keep them to myself unless you need em :>