Control

[GhostlyMark]

The emasculation is gnawing on his conscious.
The red deltas run around his dilated pupil as
he grip his own head and dig deep into his skull.
Separate shakes of his scared breath pollute the air.

The way she thinks is probably the way her eyes
sees the world. The angry masculine words coming from
the small and soft lips, continuing to strike down
the heart of an unhappy man.

Driven to a wall, he looks back into her eyes and becomes
bewildered at the suffocating darkness that were laid
years ago. The darkness holds the strings to his arms
until the ordeal is done; sounds start to resonate.

Gasps and anger echos through the caves of the man ears,
blind to what they represent. A final thump concludes the episode
as the man finally sees the light in the dark and finds the women
as a fresh corpse floating on a sea of blood.

He laughs for he has saw his Pyrrhic victory. He feels
the steering wheel in his hands as for he is the captain.
Though the cost of his lieutenant must have been dire
and gruesome, the darkness is easy to succumb to.

(women shouldn't emasculate her man and men shouldn't shouldn't be so passive with harsh women is what i believe)  

[DrksStoryteller9000]

I agree, nicely written, but I did come across a few errors.  

[GhostlyMark]

DLT15dragonlord

I agree, nicely written, but I did come across a few errors.

tell me the errors smile  

[DrksStoryteller9000]

The emasculation is gnawing on his conscious.
The red deltas run around his dilated pupil as
he grips his own head and digs deep into his skull.
Separate trembles of his own scared breath pollute the air.

The way she thinks, is probably the way her eyes
saw the world. The angry masculine words coming from
the small and soft lips, continuing to strike down
the heart of an unhappy man.

Driven to a wall, he looks back into her eyes and becomes
bewildered at the suffocating darkness that were laid
years ago. The darkness holds the strings to his arms
until the ordeal is done; sounds start to resonate.

Gasps and anger echos through the contours of the man ears,
blind to what they represent. A final thump concludes the episode
as the man finally sees the light in the dark, and finds the women
as a fresh corpse floating on a sea of blood.

He laughs for he has saw his Pyrrhic victory. He feels
the steering wheel in his hands as for he is the captain.
Though the cost of his lieutenant must have been dire
and gruesome, the darkness is easy to succumb to.

i made a few minor editing changes, does this sound any better? i personally think it is a little bit easier to read. and if you decide to make the changes i can edit this into another comment if you'd like  

[GhostlyMark]

DLT15dragonlord

thanks for that but for future reference can you atleast highlight the errors in like red or something...took me a while to see what u fixed  

[Gnomes-san]

Sounds like my parents marriage...
levity aside, now.

I found it personally evocative, but I just have one comment.

The line "The angry masculine words" seems to imply that domination (which to me is what this poem is about,) is strictly a male trait, and that women must assume male traits in order to become dominant. I would just be careful with assigning a gender to power.

Still, it was a powerful piece, and I agree with the underlying themes, though they go both ways between men and women.  

[DrksStoryteller9000]

haha i apologize, i was multitasking between editing and my history project....so ooo i guess i didnt think of doing that. i cant multitask lol