Girls, I need out. Please give advice. [Longish.]

[MaiRevengex]

I'm fourteen. My father and I have been living with my grandmother for almost 5 years now. The house conditions are fine, we're happy, everything is perfect.
My parents are divorced, and although everyone tries to convince me to love my mother because she's she only one I have, I can't help but hate her. She's a horrible person to me. She tells lies about me, she always threatens to hit me (and even to beat me once), and to make my life hell, she's even blown cigarette smoke right in my face telling me to "get the ******** away from her" when I question her about why she's been lying about me on the phone. I simply hate her, nothing can be done to help it.

Now what's going on:
Recently, my father and grandmother have been quarreling. They are both kind people, but they're getting tired of living together for irrelevant reasons. My father is looking to move out, and the only houses he can afford are out of my district. Frankly, I'm extremely happy living here with my grandmother. I just don't want to leave, it's so perfect.
My dad is planning to move into a certain house, so he packed all his stuff up into boxes. The plan is, he's going to move into it, and come straight to grandma's house after work from 5 pm-8 pm just to play with me, make dinner for me, ect. and then go to his new house each day.

Well today, as soon as my mother came here to my grandmothers house today to drop off my sister for the weekend, she barged into the house and saw my father's empty room (his room is right by the doorway and the door is transparent glass). She flipped out. She started threatening to try and get custody of my because "it's either living with your dad or me, not your grandma and nobody else." Dad told her to just get out. She went back into her car, told my stepdad that my father called my mom a "tramp" (which he never did), and so my stepdad came out and started pushing my dad, literally, threatening to "knock my dad on his a**".
After they settled down, my mom and stepdad left and began calling my house nonstop, interrogating me like crazy. She finally stopped a few hours ago. My grandmother says I can live away from my parents at fourteen in Texas, but I don't know if she knows what she's talking about. I don't know.... I cannot live with my mother, but my father can't stay here with me either, please help. I know just moving in with my dad shouldn't be so hard, but I'm really happy here.  

[Moxcella]

I'm not sure of the laws in Texas but i think you can emancipated at 14. You
won't have to live with either parents,and as long as you get your Grandmother to sign for Guardian rights,then everything would be just fine and dandy.
But i get the feeling that it would not be as simple as that..
You sound like you honestly love your dad,and might have a hard time separating from him.
But the situation you are in,you deserve to be happy right?
You could probably call the CPS[Child Protective Services] on your Mother. Sounds like she is harassing you.
You can PM if you want to,or ever need help with anything or just quote me here.
Hope everything goes well..

 

[buckwolvhoosier]

MaiRevengex

I'm fourteen. My father and I have been living with my grandmother for almost 5 years now. The house conditions are fine, we're happy, everything is perfect.
My parents are divorced, and although everyone tries to convince me to love my mother because she's she only one I have, I can't help but hate her. She's a horrible person to me. She tells lies about me, she always threatens to hit me (and even to beat me once), and to make my life hell, she's even blown cigarette smoke right in my face telling me to "get the ******** away from her" when I question her about why she's been lying about me on the phone. I simply hate her, nothing can be done to help it.

Now what's going on:
Recently, my father and grandmother have been quarreling. They are both kind people, but they're getting tired of living together for irrelevant reasons. My father is looking to move out, and the only houses he can afford are out of my district. Frankly, I'm extremely happy living here with my grandmother. I just don't want to leave, it's so perfect.
My dad is planning to move into a certain house, so he packed all his stuff up into boxes. The plan is, he's going to move into it, and come straight to grandma's house after work from 5 pm-8 pm just to play with me, make dinner for me, ect. and then go to his new house each day.

Well today, as soon as my mother came here to my grandmothers house today to drop off my sister for the weekend, she barged into the house and saw my father's empty room (his room is right by the doorway and the door is transparent glass). She flipped out. She started threatening to try and get custody of my because "it's either living with your dad or me, not your grandma and nobody else." Dad told her to just get out. She went back into her car, told my stepdad that my father called my mom a "tramp" (which he never did), and so my stepdad came out and started pushing my dad, literally, threatening to "knock my dad on his a**".
After they settled down, my mom and stepdad left and began calling my house nonstop, interrogating me like crazy. She finally stopped a few hours ago. My grandmother says I can live away from my parents at fourteen in Texas, but I don't know if she knows what she's talking about. I don't know.... I cannot live with my mother, but my father can't stay here with me either, please help. I know just moving in with my dad shouldn't be so hard, but I'm really happy here.

Moving is never easy, I know. I have had to move several times and have gone to new schools. Although it is hard, I strongly recommend that you live with your dad. It would make things easier on him and you.

As for your mom, I should maybe have your dad get a restraining order on her. Seriously! From what you have described, your dad could take her to court for that. You should not have to be around such a negative influence.AS suggested by Moxcella, call CPS. I have had to call CPS on a family member several times.

I have been through a lot, so if you want some one to talk to, PM me.  

[PSM Guild Mule]

I live in Texas, the law is that at age twelve you can choose who you want to live with family wise and there is nothing that your parents can do. It is a law.
I'd stay at your grandparents, your parents sound incredibly immature to me and you don't need to deal with their s**t.

 

[Pseudoyoyomi]

Wow. It seems to me all you would have to do is prove your mother is unfit to care for anyone. If she went to court for something like that your sister could end up being taken from her as well. Since someone already said the law is in your favor maybe it won't have to go that far.At the end of the day the court will only be looking out for the best interest of the child. So your mom can scream at the top of her lungs how she wants full custody over you but if you explain how miserable she makes you and that she basically mentally abuses you(Because that is what it is psychological abuse) every chance she gets then there is no way the court will allow you to live with her and like I said if you add in there that you fear for the well being of your sister then she too might end up living with your grandma.I just hate to hear a happy situation getting messed up because of an unfit mother.And doesn't she know that second hand smoke really does give people cancer.More people nowadays have lung cancer and they never smoked a day in their life. stressed And honestly she is the only mother you will ever have but if your grandmother basically raised you I see no reason why you should show your birth mother any respect. Especially with the shitty manner with which she treats you. If she tries to lay her hands on you defend yourself.That is child abuse and when she tries to call the police you should tell them she threatened my safety and I felt like I needed to defend myself.Honestly no one your age should have to put up with that stuff. mad  

[MaiRevengex]

Thank you all very much for the great advice, I'll keep all of this in mind.  

[Jesswii]

Personally, I think you should live with your grandmother, not simply because you want to, but it sounds like your father is confused and may not be stable right now.  

[MiracleRayray2]

Grandmother sounds better. I am sorry though with what you are going though stare stare  

[Forever_Rose09]

I also agree that you should stay with your grandmother no matter how much your terrible mother will scream at you for it. She can yell and scream and blow more smoke in your face but I wouldn't just stand there and let her do that. It is the law after all that you can choose, and your father doesn't sound very stable right now. You love your grandmother and where you are right now. And your happiness counts too. heart
Good luck, and I hope from the bottom of my heart to my esophagus that things will turn out okay! emotion_hug