Story of a Serial Killer(May Disturb Reader. Demented)

[His Majesty Satan]

This is a collection of many Haiku that blend together, none of them being a poem on its own, just a piece to a larger story. And despite the fact that most writers write about what they know about, I know NOTHING about killing! Alrighty? Okie dokie!


Black in the night, I
Roamed in this old town, trying
To find my true love.

As I searched, in a
Fright, I beckoned to the fine
Mistress before my eyes.

Her hair was long and
Brown, flowing with the wind, her
Hair never sleeping.

Her eyes were bright, a
Greenish hue to the grey I
Was acquainted with.

So when she left my
Sight, I looked for her and her
Unending beauty.

She lived in a small
Seattle home, far from mine
To the east of there.

After those miles I
Drove, those hours I spent awake,
I came to find her.

It was the deep of
The night, a cold Fall moon rose
Above my head. Lovely.

She was asleep, her
Work uniform still on, she
Could not be woken.

So I sat in the
Chair across the house in the
Living room, reading.

No energy lost,
I watched her step into the
Room, pale faced, in shock.

“Hello, Ms. Allen,”
I stated. “How did you know?”
“You are my true love.”

That reply was my
Highlight of the cold morning,
Aside from the gore.

She dashed for the door,
A door I had locked up tight.
Time to celebrate.

As she began to
Unlock it, I ran to her,
Grabbing her quickly.

By her brown locks, I
Pulled her upstairs to her room.
We were solitary.

“Help!” she screamed. “Help me!”
I slammed her head into the
Wood floor. Unconscious.

I tied her to the
Bed, arms, legs, and all, waiting
For her to wake up.

She finally awoke,
Eyes wide in fearfulness and
Pure sadness. Sadness…

“This will make you smile!”
I proclaimed, pulling a cloth
From my left pocket…

And a knife from the
Other. “Hmmmmmm!” She quietly pleaded.
Under the clean cloth.

Slowly I dug the knife
Into her wrists, cutting all
Her veins and tendons.

I let her slowly
Die. I watched her cry in her
Apparent sadness.

Did she have children?
I had to know. I could care
For all of her kids.

I pulled the cloth
From her face. “Do you have kids?”
She spat in my face.

“F… ********… you.” She said
In anger. I was becoming angry.
“Open your mouth now!”

My command was odd.
“Open it and I’ll let you
Live!” I lied.

She quickly opened
Her mouth, and I, again, put
The rag over her face.

This time, with her mouth
Open, I poked the cloth down,
Down her twig-like neck.

I pushed the cloth so
Hard. It filled her mouth up. I
Laughed at the choking.

She died from blood loss
As well as suffocation.
She would go missing.

Her blood on my hands,
I ran far away, to find
My second victim.  

[vannyyy]

that was a good story but why did you have to kill her its against the law to hit girls but any way that was good and i joined and how do i write a story??  

[His Majesty Satan]

xBeanMonsterx

that was a good story but why did you have to kill her its against the law to hit girls but any way that was good and i joined and how do i write a story??

In what sense? Do you mean actually how to write a story, or how to post a story on here?  

[Gnomes-san]

I'll need to read it once or twice more in order to really comment on the substance and actual story, but for now, just some comments on the style and such.

People are, whether they admit it or not, inherently fascinated with aberration and people that function entirely different than normal; hence the popularity of movies like Silence of the Lambs or the classic status of films like M. In large part, they are either simply exotic or help us to see the savagery of ourselves (we all have it.) But often times when stories about serial killers and the like, when they crop up in pop culture are mostly an indictment of that very fascination we all have. It benefits us as a race to not act without restraint, and films like Man Bites Dob or Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer remind us to check ourselves. whether or not this was your intent, it reminded me of those by telling it from the killer's POV, which seems a much more effective cautionary mode, as it leads us to primarily identify with the murderer. over all, I liked the melodic quality of the haiku, and the style is pretty powerful.  

[your babbygirl]

the story kept me intrigued me from the being  

[DrksStoryteller9000]

it was wow! it was very interesting.....and messed up. it is true we all have our weird little fascinations in gore  

[Myde14Niia]

Wow, I would actually think you had had the 'pleasure' of killing someone with that description! I loved it! Dementia is aweseme! I add a little bit of it to my stories sometimes. I loved that multi-haiku poem. It told a touching story. And yes we all have abeast within us.  

[I 999 I]

Elder Astrauld you are a LEGEND!

The haikus were perfect, and it flowed. The beginning where it seems to start off as a romance and then the twist, where you read he breaks inside of her home. Chilling, Cold-blooded, Great!  

[His Majesty Satan]

Kapitan Kailua

Elder Astrauld you are a LEGEND!

The haikus were perfect, and it flowed. The beginning where it seems to start off as a romance and then the twist, where you read he breaks inside of her home. Chilling, Cold-blooded, Great!

Why thank you xD  

[MagitekElite]

Disturbing? Yes it was. I had to re-read a couple lines twice or sometime thrice, but I got it eventually.

I liked it; made me think of a truly (and real) crazy person. sweatdrop  

[Laeriel Rhuilea]

I felt like the poetry tripped and stumbled. Good. It was very well-written and conveys a frightening message. Fantastic job.