Contemplating Memories (Full and Starting)

[elphy_and_fiyero]

I knew he wouldn’t be walking for a bit but this was worse. My chest felt heavy as I just looked at him. He had no idea who or even recalled his own name. Slowly, I sat back down in the chair. I couldn’t stand anymore. Jack was my best friend. I didn’t know what would happen now that he had forgotten everything. Would he still be my best friend? Would he change and hate me all together?

I had to, at least, try to help him. “Uh, well.” I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t realize this was going to be more painful than I thought. “You’re name is Jack Reads and my name is Suzanne Jacobs. Everyone calls me Suzy though you and my dad are the only ones allowed to call me Suzu. Somehow, I can tolerate it with you too.” It took most of my strength not to cry.

“We’ve been best friends for four years. About a week ago, you and I went to this party. There was alcohol there but neither one us wanted to drink. Bad memories on your part.” I laughed but then wanted to take it back. He didn’t know what had happened the year before and I couldn’t tell him now since not even his nor my parents knew about it. “Anyway, we headed home full with caffeinated soda and we headed home. When he hit Henderson Street, we were T-Boned by an SUV.” I couldn’t tell him that he had tried to ask me out. I didn’t think it mattered at this point. My answer definitely didn’t matter.

“You got the worst of it. The other guy is fine, or so I hear. My mom is looking into seeing if he was drunk. If he was, no doubt she will take him to court.” Jack just looked at me and I was forgetting that he didn’t remember. “Right, well, my mom’s the best lawyer in town. Your parents should be here this afternoon.” Though, I didn’t know what good it would do. I wasn’t even sure if he believed me at this point.  

[dragonhealer]

Jack listened when the girl talked, so his name was Jack... Sure why not that was a good enough name. The boy wanted to know more about the crash... Was he at fault? Did he run a stop sign or something? The young man blinked and tried to comprehend everything that Suzy was saying. Apparently he had known her for four years. She was pretty. And that's really all knew saw in her. But at least she was trying to help him. So maybe she was nice too.

"Um, what are my parent's names? And what do they look like? I don't want them to be upset."

He was all ready thinking a head to that meeting. It would be worse then this one... Parents had a very close relationship with their children... And he was someone's child. He tried to remember but his mind was blank, there was nothing... Well not nothing he could recall something. He remembered humiliation. The humiliation of being shoved into a locker... Was he that hated? Apparently so. But Suzy here was talking to him so maybe things had changed? Maybe he use to be hated and now.... Now he was useless... It was frustrating not remembering anything.  

[elphy_and_fiyero]

(If you want to change anything about his parents, let me know and I’ll edit this post.)

Jack seemed to be taking in everything I was telling him. I just couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that Jack had forgotten everything. This was hard on me as it was on him. I didn’t know if I could do this. Needless to say, I continued on answering his questions. But even as I looked at Jack with his blank stares, I couldn’t leave him. He was helpless without me.

“Your mom’s name is Janet,” I struggled to say. “She’s a fourth grade teacher. Your dad’s name, I believe is Harold. I could be wrong,” I smiled. “I only know them as Mr. And Mrs. Reads. That’s your last name. And your dad’s a Firefighter.”

I recalled the day I first met Jack. He wore a Gap sweatshirt his mom bought. Underneath it he wore a Quicksilver shirt with jeans and black and white sneakers. We were in Mr. Simon’s first period History class. He could tell I was new. Everyone did. I was nervous but he fixed that right up. He talked to me and we’ve been best friends ever since. I just hated to think about his parents’ would react. This would kill his mom.

“You will see them when they get here. They both have brown hair. They’ll be here this afternoon. You’ll know it’s them by how they react to seeing you.” I thought his mom. She was gentle and sweet. Everything a fourth grade teacher needed to be. She was a second mom I could go to when I was fighting with mine. “Your mom is really sweet. You’ll love her. She always wears a heart jeweled bracelet on her right arm. You gave that to her for Christmas a few years ago.” I smiled, remembering he never believed me that she would like it. We had done so much to earn money to get it for her. Car washes, mowing lawns and any little thing we could do to raise money. It took us months but we pulled it off. It was one of my favorite memories with Jack. “She never takes it off.”
 

[dragonhealer]

"Okay... So are you okay?... Don't cry."

The girl looked like she was going to cry and she was bandaged up like she was hurt. She was also in the crash so maybe she was sustaining some damages too. The boy moved his right arm cringing at the pain that movement caused but he reached over and tried to hold her hand. Jack didn't want anyone to be upset about him, it felt weird, It made him feel guilty.

A doctor came in and walked to stand at the end of the cot looking Jack over before looking at the chart. He asked a few questions to which jack could only reply...

"I don't know."

Most were what's your address, who' your favorite band, when did you last go to the cinema. It was a memory test and he failed miserably. The only thing he got right was his name because Suzu had told him it. The doctor looked at the cat scan of his brain and sighed, there was some damage that they had thought might cause a bit of memory loss, but this was more then they anticipated.

The doctor filled out a sheet to change his medications and left... Jack was left even more confused and worried. He must be really messed up to not remember anything... This sucked!

"How can he just leave? "

Jack asked. He wanted to know what was wrong with him but the doctor never even asked if he had an questions or anything. It was like because he wasn't normal he was considered completely crazy and unable to communicant or care.

"What am I suppose to do?"  

[elphy_and_fiyero]

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Just rest.” When he took my hand, I felt better. Almost as if, the old Jack came back but I knew that wasn’t possible. At least, not yet. The doctor came in to ask him questions. I knew all of them but decided not to answer. They were memory questions and he failed each one. The doctor didn’t seem very nice. I checked my phone for any messages but I had none. My mom was still at work and wouldn’t get off for awhile.

I couldn’t go back to school. Not now. Thankfully, I hadn’t missed any days of school this year so I was alright. Not to mention, my mom had a talk with the principle. I wasn’t going back to school unless Jack did. Memory or not. The doctor left and Jack didn’t seem to like the doctor acted.

“He’s a doctor. It’s rare you find one that actually bonds with you. Not to mention, I’m sure he’s had a hard day.” I reassured him. Jack’s hands were soft just the way they always were. I didn’t want to let go of his hand. After that accident, I didn’t want to leave his side. Deep down I had this fear that I would wake up from this dream and he would be dead. But this wasn’t a dream and Jack was alive.

“What you’re supposed to do is rest.” I told him. “You can’t really go anywhere with two broken legs. At least, not on foot. When your parents finally bail you out of here, just live. Usually, with memory cases going back to the life you had helps things come back. We’ll just take it from there.”
 

[dragonhealer]

"I don't want to rest... I've been resting for a week, I want to do something. I want to see my chart, talk to some one who knows what's wrong with me... There's something attached to my shlong..."

It was then that that Jack figured out he was wearing a catheter. He was not happy... To put it lightly. He had to pee though a tube?! The boy closed his eyes and sighed. Yeah of course he had too, he had been brain dead for a week, people probably did weirder thing to him while he was out then attach a tube to his d**k. The boy shifted a little, getting use to the feeling of tenderness that he would have for a very long time.

"Okay. So, Suzy. What town is this?"

It was like he was an alien, dropped down from space and able to speak English and interact normally, he just had no background... No tastes, no information to go back and think about when he made decisions now.

"And was I? Like... Was I good? or?"  

[elphy_and_fiyero]

I smiled as he seemed restless. Same old Jacky; even without his memory. I assumed it was the reason why he wanted to leave the party so early. In school, the boy could hardly sit still unless I was there to occupy him by passing him notes. “Well, it’s the only thing you can do right now. Stick it would till the end. I’m sure you won’t be here much longer. A few more days, tops.” I only hoped it was a few more days. I, too, hated being in a hospital bed not being able to leave it.

Even without his memory, I began to see something. In a way, it was still Jack. He acted the same, had the same personality. The only thing missing was his memories. “We’re in Jamestown, North Dakota. You were born and raised here where I was grew up an Army Brat so I’ve moved to a lot of places. Been here the last four.”

His next question too me a little by surprise. I had know him for four years and he had been my best friend since the day I had arrived. I knew him inside and out. Though, the moment when he tried to ask me out surprised me but not as much as this. I shook my head. “You are good.” I corrected him. “We wouldn’t be best friends if you weren’t. You’re still Jack. You can’t remember anything just yet.”
 

[dragonhealer]

Jack nodded, trying to remember everything Suzu said to him, it was hard. He was already frustrated but he didn't want to show it. He was in pain but not enough to call for more drugs, he was confused but didn't want to show it, he was scared but didn't want to have anyone's pity. It was just... difficult.

When the girl said that he couldn't remember anything just yet, he perked up. Did the doctor's say this was just temporary? He would be able to remember soon? that made Jack smile, a real to smile. It was to big for his mouth but that was his smile.

"So They say I'll be able to remember everything soon? How soon? What's wrong with me?"

The young clueless man thought his friend had all the answers, why wouldn't she? She could remember things about himself he never would have guess on his own. The boy tried to sit up but gasped, cringing. Yeah movement was not going to happen right then. He gritted his teeth and laid back down settling for the slight incline that the bed provided.  

[elphy_and_fiyero]

I wanted to do more for him but all I could really do was talk to him. And even then it wasn't enough. Visiting hours didn't last very long and I would have to leave at some point. I would leave to go to my house. A place that was still there even after the accident. Jack didn't even know where that was for him; which was just a few houses from mine. The doctor couldn't tell me anything since I wasn't family but I had overheard the doctor telling the nurse that his memory was a difficult case. He wasn't sure if it would ever return. I had to accept that but then again, I had to believe there was still a chance he would return to the same old Jack.

The same Jack that would take me out for ice cream when I would stress about finals. The same Jack who knew my favorite ice cream and would always ask the person behind the counter to give me extra cherries on top, knowing they were my favorite. Jack never knew I noticed but I always did. The same Jack who shared a secret spot with me, only him and I knew.

Suddenly, I wanted to go to that place with him at that moment. It was a quiet place out by the mountains. There was a small waterfall that dropped to this little hole in the wall. It was the perfect spot for the sun when it was nice and a perfect spot for when the rain came. In the winter, Jack and I would always go there when the lake would freeze over so we could skate on it. Those were my favorite times.

I wanted that same Jack back but, somehow, I knew it was still him. I had to keep telling myself that. "The doctors aren't sure when it will come back, but it will come back. We just have to show you things from your past. A lot of the time, certain things can trigger memories; friends, family, clothes, animals, a certain place you've been to before. It can be anything really." When he smiled, it made me smile; inside and out. I was happy that he was actually smiling again. Even though it had been just a few days, I had missed that smile. "Nothing is wrong with you but your memory loss is called amnesia. It can happen a lot with car accidents. For right now, just relax. There's no need to stress any of this. It will all work out. I promise."