Welcome to Gaia! ::

Coffee Stains & Crumpled Paper -- A Writers Guild

Back to Guilds

A haven for writers of all kinds. 

Tags: writing, prose, poetry, writers, reading 

Reply Poetry
Be cruel

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Dark_Gale017

PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:47 pm
Be cruel to me.
Be mean and harsh.
Don’t let me think, don’t make me happy.
Keep the kind words locked away.
Never let me hear them.
Use me until I am gone, till there is nothing left but a shell of my former self.
Bruise and batter me into thoughtlessness.
Do whatever you want to me, as long as you never say “I love you.”  
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:21 am
I think, overall, you've done well with this poem. Perhaps breaking the lines up a bit more would make things flow better?  

evolvingwolf

Reply
Poetry

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum