A New Cult of Personality?

[Mnemosyne of Rivendell]

When I was in the first grade, or rather when I had just finished the first grade, my school threw a summer program, in which we studied Greek Mythology. Each of us kids were to choose a deity to work with, whose myths, powers, and geneaology we studied until the end of the program when we all had a party and got to dress up as the God or Goddess we chose. I was Athena. Is that not cool? That prgoram, and many other things my fabulous first grade teacher brought out through the year leads me to suspect she was pagan. Or maybe she was just really cool. Either way, it is because of that program that I have always been fascinated by the idea of a pantheon. It never really made sense to me that one God had to do it all; surely it would be much easier and more practical to divide the work. As I was raised in a Messianic Jewish household, I also remember trying to reconcile the idea of many Gods with the existence of the God whom I had been born to believe in. In the end, I came to a vague assumption that those I was studying came first, and that Yahweh was either their child whom they now left everything to, or a mask they collectively wore when it became dangerous for them to exist as themselves. It's kind of uncanny how even then I felt closer to them than to my "own" god.

I had a similar experience in the second grade, when we studied Egyptian Mythology. I was not quite as connected to that as I was to Greek Mythology, but I still found it fascinating and was once again drawn to a pantheistic view of life.

As I said, I was raised in a Messianic Jewish household. My father was and still is the rabbi of the congregation my family attended, and I always hated being his daughter. That is, I hated that every Saturday, I was the center of attention, not for anything I personally did or had a talent for, but merely due to my relation to someone they respected far more. It wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't have stretched so deeply into our home life. My father has no qualms about giving out hishome number, which I suppose makes him a very good rabbi, considering how welcoming and thoughtful he is to their concerns, but that also meant that 99% of all incoming phone calls were for "the Rabbi," and I grew to feel like he outshone everyone elses existence. It seemed to me that he gave more thought to the problems of his congregation than he did to those of his own family, and for that I grew to hate him. Or maybe that was just another aspect of my dislike. Either way, I have never been close to my father, and his close connection in my mind to the Messianic faith may have had a lot to do with my personal rejection of it. It also didn't help that I hated the idea of being punished eternally for something you did wrong, or that there is only one chosen people and that all of my friends of different beliefs, no matter how good they are, will be going to hell.

I'm sorry that this turned into a Daddy-Baggage rant, but in my opinion, these experiences are probably what paved the way for my life as a pagan, at least in some way. Make any sense?  

[TeaDidikai]

missmagpie

I have a vague recollection of a Christmas gift when I was about five or six. Some mysterious benefactor (well, someone who came to the family Christmas party) gave me a large red cloth bag filled with gemstones. To this day I haven't a clue who it was. I kinda put them away and forgot about them for years, until I started studying and looking in to the occult. The stones from this bag then started to show up in various drawers and closets around my room, and the more I researched the more I found. Now I have a borderline obsession with stones and use them constantly in my practise. And I found all the stones.
I suppose the question is whether I was given the stones because I was predisposed to/destined for magic, or do I practise magic because I was given the stones? Or would it make no difference either way?

Bingo! Now that's what I'm talking about. mrgreen

I'd say the former- as anyone can be given a rock and if they don't know what to do with it, it will end up in a house plant or some such.  

[Deoridhe]

TeaDidikai

Deoridhe

This is not the time for me to mention I regularly dance in my clothes and/or with my body parts, and used to be known for singing nonsense songs for no apparent reason, huh? rofl

Yes. Yes it would.

However, that isn't the same thing as being under the full moon naked in the middle of winter.

No, I just occassionally walk barefoot on snow as a sign of fortitude and to introduce suffering into my rather cushy llife. whee And contemplated hanging myself from a tree for nine hours with a wound in my side/chest but decided I needed someone I trusted to make sure I didn't kill myself. wink

I do think you're idea rings true, though.... my experience is that Odin either brings out in me or reflects in me that which makes me most truly myself - or what I recognize as myself. This goes from the weapon of knowledge and logic that pierces through and destroys my enemies, to the self-destructive impusles on the path of knowledge, to the ebb and flow of self-indulgence. I would probably phrase it as an achetypal resonance between myself, as a mortal, and he, as a god, which takes my relatively weak wave pattern and intensifies it.

By contrast, when I work with Frigga, the waves become erratic because she is enough different from my normal pattern to not intensify, but not diametrically opposed enough to counter. My suspicion is that Saga may serve as a dampening - not to self-destruction but to a stillness which is another form of enlightenment.

Of course, none of this makes sense to people who didn't study waves in physics, and my language is probably sadly unscientific given how long it's been for me. sweatdrop  

[maenad nuri]

I grew up in a very serious Catholic family. Not really in the strict sense, but rather in the faith sense. Where I first rejected the formality, I now embrace it. Through my Catholic upbringing, I've gained a real sense when to be solemn (and Dionysos taught me when not to be) but a sense of ceremony and repeated sacred actions and phrasing.

I stole my brothers Greek Mythology books as a child, and read them obessively. I read different version, and kept changing the Roman names to the Greek ones in my head, because they were more correct.

I also once played Demeter in a 4th grade in-class play. I ruled. So maybe we are placed into situations by the Gods.  

[TeaDidikai]

Deoridhe

No, I just occassionally walk barefoot on snow as a sign of fortitude and to introduce suffering into my rather cushy llife. whee And contemplated hanging myself from a tree for nine hours with a wound in my side/chest but decided I needed someone I trusted to make sure I didn't kill myself. wink

I do think you're idea rings true, though.... my experience is that Odin either brings out in me or reflects in me that which makes me most truly myself - or what I recognize as myself. This goes from the weapon of knowledge and logic that pierces through and destroys my enemies, to the self-destructive impusles on the path of knowledge, to the ebb and flow of self-indulgence. I would probably phrase it as an achetypal resonance between myself, as a mortal, and he, as a god, which takes my relatively weak wave pattern and intensifies it.

By contrast, when I work with Frigga, the waves become erratic because she is enough different from my normal pattern to not intensify, but not diametrically opposed enough to counter. My suspicion is that Saga may serve as a dampening - not to self-destruction but to a stillness which is another form of enlightenment.

Of course, none of this makes sense to people who didn't study waves in physics, and my language is probably sadly unscientific given how long it's been for me. sweatdrop

Kind of made sense to me. It's interesting.
We should compare notes on the Odin Ritual. Been privvy to one of those myself.


Nuri>> That's in the same lines as what I am meaning.  

[Pelta]

TeaDidikai

missmagpie

I suppose the question is whether I was given the stones because I was predisposed to/destined for magic, or do I practise magic because I was given the stones? Or would it make no difference either way?

Bingo! Now that's what I'm talking about. mrgreen

I'd say the former- as anyone can be given a rock and if they don't know what to do with it, it will end up in a house plant or some such.

Agreed. My brother was also given some stones at some point. I don't know if it was from the same person or at the same time, but he also has a small collection of stones that he never uses. Some of them are rather nice *fingers itching to steal that pretty piece of pyrite*. But he doesn't practise or was ever drawn to magic. He's curious, but far to skeptical to practise.  

[Spring-heeled Jill]

Edit: not sure what I'm trying to say here, so I'm just going to get rid of it.  

[Deoridhe]

TeaDidikai

Kind of made sense to me. It's interesting.

Heh. You know you're a mystic when you take all of your physics knowledge and funnel it happily into metaphor.

TeaDidikai

We should compare notes on the Odin Ritual. Been privvy to one of those myself.

Wow, I'd love to heard what I can be told about it. It's something I've considered for years, now, but it never seemed.... right. I tend to pay attention to that feeling when it comes ot the gods.  

[TeaDidikai]

Deoridhe

TeaDidikai

Kind of made sense to me. It's interesting.

Heh. You know you're a mystic when you take all of your physics knowledge and funnel it happily into metaphor.

~Snickers~ You and Hubby need to chat. I think it would amuse you both.

Quote:

Wow, I'd love to heard what I can be told about it. It's something I've considered for years, now, but it never seemed.... right. I tend to pay attention to that feeling when it comes ot the gods.

Will do. The best tip I could give you off the bat would be to find an Elite Asatru Blood Sport Dom with suspension experience.  

[Deoridhe]

TeaDidikai

~Snickers~ You and Hubby need to chat. I think it would amuse you both.

Oh? ^_^

TeaDidikai

Quote:

Wow, I'd love to heard what I can be told about it. It's something I've considered for years, now, but it never seemed.... right. I tend to pay attention to that feeling when it comes ot the gods.

Will do. The best tip I could give you off the bat would be to find an Elite Asatru Blood Sport Dom with suspension experience.

Heh. The closest I come is a dom/sub pairing, both dedicated to Morrigan. Of course, one of the two IS on the list of "trust with my life, if necessary."  

[TeaDidikai]

Deoridhe

Oh? ^_^

Agnostic Chemist with recon/science leanings.

Quote:

Heh. The closest I come is a dom/sub pairing, both dedicated to Morrigan. Of course, one of the two IS on the list of "trust with my life, if necessary."

Not talking about play. Talking about someone who has created a craft of their art with such things that they know the best way to go about it. There's a fella up here who is Asatru that fits the bill, and before Odin told me to go play in someone elses sand box, I was working with him to create my own ritual like that.