Extreme social anxiety/phobia.

[tomatotomorrow]

For as long as I can remember, I've been chronically afraid of social interaction with other people. Tonight I was reminded of how awful it is and how much it affects my life. I went to an open interview for a job, and when I saw how many people were in the room, I immediately left. I panicked and I just told myself I would not get the job anyway, so it wasn't worth it. Although after I left I felt so ******** worthless for passing up an opportunity just because I couldn't deal with my nervousness.

It's too late to go back now, and I feel horrible about it. I wish I could just control my social anxiety like any normal person, but it completely controls me. I hate myself so much. I feel like there is so much wrong with me that I can't function like a normal person or ever hope to do things that a normal person would do. I feel like suicide is my only way out. I don't want to live being such a flawed human being.  

[- RH Lawliet]

tomatotomorrow

For as long as I can remember, I've been chronically afraid of social interaction with other people. Tonight I was reminded of how awful it is and how much it affects my life. I went to an open interview for a job, and when I saw how many people were in the room, I immediately left. I panicked and I just told myself I would not get the job anyway, so it wasn't worth it. Although after I left I felt so ******** worthless for passing up an opportunity just because I couldn't deal with my nervousness.

It's too late to go back now, and I feel horrible about it. I wish I could just control my social anxiety like any normal person, but it completely controls me. I hate myself so much. I feel like there is so much wrong with me that I can't function like a normal person or ever hope to do things that a normal person would do. I feel like suicide is my only way out. I don't want to live being such a flawed human being.

I'm sorry it took so long to find this sad
Well, what happened was a setback. Don't let it get you down smile Everyone experiences setbacks of some description.
I think flawed humans are the most interesting smile nobody likes a perfect person razz smile do you have a therapist on call? if not you should speak to one about your social anxiety as they might be able to find a way to help you relax in social situations smile
If you don't think you can see them, phone them?
Or try yourself little by little to get used to social situations? smile perhaps start by going somewhere where there will be people but not many and gradually increase and your highest aim being a train station or a tourist attraction etc  

[Rich-The-Fool]

I would try to deal with it the best you can. Social anxiety can indeed be teribble and frustating but try to keep on trying to beat it, you can get over it.  

[lizmutt]

(not a member of the guild, would join if it wouldn't get posted on gaia's news feed.)

But I'm surprised the first forum I came across was roughly the same thing I'm going through. I don't know if it makes me feel better or just worse. All I know it is the idea of getting a job, responsibility and having to interact with other people that set me off into anxiety attacks. In these last several months it has gone to an extreme with some volunteer work I have to apply and interview for. I haven’t found anything that seems to help.

I know how soul crushing it can be and how it is worse than anything I have ever been through before. I saw you said “normal people” in your post a little funny cause that is always what I want too. But I have been told that it is common and other people just have ways they hid it so most people wouldn’t pick it out just looking at them. So maybe it will help to know that other people are going through the same thing…It might not help you feel better (like it hasn’t helped me) but I’m sure it would help others to know this.